Ok. Here it is. My wife was diagnosed with depression in like the late 80’s. In the early 90’s she was admitted to inpatient treatment. She has been seeing a psychologist for a number of years dealing with the past.
She is on a number of meds, for depression and anxiety.
She has been taking a number of drugs, with no such luck, and trying different ones to get to where she is suppose to be.
We have been together now for 6 yrs. 3 yrs married. Dated for a year in half then she moved in with me after that. This is in a town where she never knew anyone. The reason she moved here is because I have a good paying job without any college degree. She has a degree in nursing. We have a hospital here 4-7 clinics and a nursing home. So it would be easier for her to find a job here then I find a job where she lived. I had a house which I bought before I married her. It was a bachelor pad. Nothing updated, but clean and organized. When she came to live with me we made lots of updates to the house. Now it is like it is our house. Looks like a ladies house now. Flowers outside new bushes and lots of updates on the inside.
I told her when we married that we would get a new house. Well that never happened. She keeps hounding me about a new house. Man, the way we have been fighting I said NOT now for that reason. Not a happy woman. Makes sense to me though. The way I see it a couple have to at least get along before digging a financial hole. I am the main bread maker in this house hole. She used to work 4 days a week now down to 2 days a week. She says I am the husband I should be the one working. NOT. It is a rough and expensive world out there.
My honey had a bad week last week and made some phone calls to see a psychiatrist. And could not get into to see one until mid Sept. so I got on the phone and pleaded with a secretary, said she would do some searching a few hours later she said she found some on to see us. She told me the name and I got on the phone to check out how good he was and was told he is very good at what he does. So she an appointment for us 3 days later. I told my honey she did not try hard enough. Ouch. That was a No no. So we went in to see him on wed. Was admitted to an out patient program the next day. With her consent.
Here are a few of her symptoms. Depression, anxiety (blaming me). No biggie to me. And a few health issues like Menopause thyroid problem that they are getting under control.
She is staying in a house they provide and I am at home. This is 80 miles away. We have a dog so I could not stay with her. I feel she needs the time to work on the program anyways. We have been calling each other every night. Which leads into and argument. I told her if we cannot talk like to adults without fighting. I will say goodnight.. So needless to say I say goodnight and love you. She comes home last night (Friday)and tells me she will not be in this house next summer. What I heard is DIVORICE. I assumed, which is wrong. That was right before I took her to eat at a Chinese restaurant. I did not want to make a seen. (SP). So about an hour later I jump her about that remark. She said we are going to be moving to a different town. I tried to explain to here that we cannot due to MONEY. And me car pooling 3 hours a day. She is just bound and determined to put us into debt. I am 47 yrs old and she is 55. I am not going to be working until I am 65. I want to retire at 55 due to bad feet.
Has your wife tried Fluoxetine (Prozac)? It is a drug that I have had personal experience with (Although I was not the one taking it) and it seems to be quite good. If your wife's depression is still out of control, maybe this is something worth consideringDarren
Good Morning, Darren has a good point. There are many good meds out there and if she is on Lexapro at 25mg she is over the max dose which is 20 mg unless her physician has info supporting higher doses of Lexapro are now thought to be better. :)
I understand your need to feel financial security as that is just good common sense and your wife is not well enough to be making life changing moves at this time.
I hope you are able to find some solace in the fact that she is willing to seek help as many people will not. Take care. Keep posting as there are many wonderful members here that will listen to you and support you.
Not veryhappy right now. I had a reply all written up and hit the back button to many times. argggggg. Lets try it again
My wife was admitted to a out patient program for her Depression and Axiety disease. She started 2 weeks ago on wednesday. She goes from 9am to 3pm. 5 days a week. The hospital where she is being treated is 80 miles away from where we live. They have a house where she stays. Anyday now she could have a roommate, which i think would be great. Depending on the person of course. She does not want anyone. Which in a way i can understand.
Hey ya Shy. She does not have any friends anymore. all the ones how were friends, have had enough of her complaining. she is not from here like i am. Yes i can understand her reasoning. but, she knew this coming into this marriage that i am from here and have a good job. We never even mentioned about moving to a different town until recently.
Here is something new. Now she is in this religious kick, which she wants me to attend. i do believe in the higher power, whom i choose to be God. I do go to church but now, she wants to start some clases which go for 10 weeks, once a week. I am not into this. should be, but, am not. I am writting this at work. In 6 hours i have to go and defend myself. Not going to be good because she is gonna blame this onto our marraige also.
Hey ya Shy.
I told her last night i did not want to attend. i told Karen the night of i would go to check it out. then i found out it is some kinda bible study which last 10 weeks, which i do not want to commit to. I told Karen, that i do not want to do it. She said it would be good for our marriage. She is right but it is not for me. I said go for it honey. Needless to say, we did not talk much last night. she is disappointed in me. No problem. she makes to many assumptions about things. And yes she is going to go by herself. One thing that really ticks me off about her counseling is, they told her to be more accertive. And i should be more passive. NOT. maybe i am the one that needs to more accertive. I said i will not become a door mat or a yes man. i will try and compromise on things. but not the house. period end of story. not a good thing there either. things not to good in our house. i forsee the big D. because she wants to move 80miles away. she is bound and determined for us to move there. i would love to sit and tell you all the hole story. from day one to now. her side and mine, but it would be way to long. i believe me i would mess it up. i told her last night i do not need a house to make me happy. all i need is a rough and a bed. NOT her though.
treat ppl the way you want to be treated.