haven't been here in a long time

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starbrite
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 154
   Posted 8/28/2007 7:08 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi everyone it's moonstar.  It's been months since I have been here and I want to apologize for not answering on any of the forums.  The problem is that I have been in a very serious depression and I have been fighting with my t to stay out of the hospital.  I'm doing a little better now so I am going to come back and try to be of some help.  The depression was so bad I couldn't even write all I did was exercise and talk to my t.  Oh yeah also ate a lot you know how that is.  I have been kind of overdoing the exercise because it seems to be the only thing that makes me feel any better.  Eating, has always been a problem.  Hope everyone is doing o.k. I missed you.
 
moonstar  scool

starbrite
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 154
   Posted 8/28/2007 7:40 AM (GMT -7)   
sorry everyone but i am also DID and that was one of my alters who wrote

starbrite

ShynSassy
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Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 8/28/2007 11:00 AM (GMT -7)   
Starbrite

I am glad to see you back. So sorry that you are having such a hard time...depression is so harsh on everyone involved!


Keep us updated.



Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
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Gemsi
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 1050
   Posted 8/28/2007 11:04 AM (GMT -7)   
I've heard of DID, think it was in a Torey Hayden book. It interests me is all I can say really. I don't mean anything horrible by this at all. I'm jst interested too know more about the condition really.

Anyway welcome back to the boards!

I understand the overdoing things, kind of like a slight obsession. I'm like that myself with food especially. Excercse isn't too bad an obsession though, could do with starting that one myself hehe! I currently have the best obsession of not skipping medication. I used to be really bad with it, but I don't want to miss it anymore as I'm very reliant on it now as the only thing to make me feel better.

Were the hospital doing anything to help you as such? They keep talking about taking me onto the mental ward for a week or 2, if I don't learn to control sudden outburts of depression. If it is/was working for you, you should definately stick with it, hospitals have a good idea at how to get round your mind too help you think in a more balanced way. Although they can seem like scarey places.


Co-moderator in the: Cystic Fibrosis Forums
 Woe to the child which when kissed on the forehead tastes salty. She is bewitched and soon must die.
 Diagnosed with: Cystic Fibrosis, Asthma, ABPA, Clinical Depression, Mild liver cirrohsis, mild osteopenia. Waiting for final diagnosis on Muscular Dystrophy type symptoms.
 Medication: Creon 10,000, Flucloxacillin, Vitamins A,D+E, Serevent, Salbutamol, Sertraline, Odansetron, Nefopam, Ciprofloxacin, Ursodeoxycholic Acid, Omeprazole, Saline neb/PEP system, Piriton, Mirtazapine, Diazepam.
Had a Port-a-cath fitted on chest wall since 11th Nov 05


starbrite
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 154
   Posted 8/28/2007 11:17 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks everyone for listening. I have been in the hospital 4 times with depression and I think the only thing it did was to make me more depressed. I missed my family so much and the more depressed I got the longer they wanted to keep me. I'm going to do everything in my power to stay out of there. I started a new med (lexapro) about a month ago but I went off it because of the side affects, currently my t is mad at me for doing that she says I mess around with my meds too much that's why I'm not getting better. I do go off them without telling my Dr. but hey what can I do? They just keep putting me on more meds and i don't see that as an answer. Having terrible fights with my t.

Darkies Gem, I wish more people wanted to know more about DID. Most people get ther idea of DID from the movie Sybil which was an awful representation of the disorder. If someone wants you to go into the hospital make sure it's a good one and not in a regular hospital with a mental ward because they are awful. You get no help. You need a hospital that is only a psyciatric hospital the care there is usually a lot better.

Gemsi
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 1050
   Posted 8/28/2007 11:34 AM (GMT -7)   
It is my psychiatrist that wants me too go in. I think it's so I'm closer for her too help me, I'm not sure.
I don't like the idea, as I'm really used to hospitals, and the ward I'm for my Cystic Fibrosis. I'm used to not having restrictions, and been able to run off and hide round the hospital when I feel bad. While the psychiatrist ward is in the same hospital, I'm not quite sure how I would cope if I had any major restrictions. Not just been able to say, I'm off for a wander. I have a feeling they wold want to know where, and how long I'll be. On my regular ward, all is fine, as long as I'm back in time for meds. Then I can shoot off again back to hiding if I so wish.

I'm currently on Mirtazapine and Diazepam. I have the oposite problem of being heavily reliant on my medication, and I really start to panic if I miss a dose.
Co-moderator in the: Cystic Fibrosis Forums
 Woe to the child which when kissed on the forehead tastes salty. She is bewitched and soon must die.
 Diagnosed with: Cystic Fibrosis, Asthma, ABPA, Clinical Depression, Mild liver cirrohsis, mild osteopenia. Waiting for final diagnosis on Muscular Dystrophy type symptoms.
 Medication: Creon 10,000, Flucloxacillin, Vitamins A,D+E, Serevent, Salbutamol, Sertraline, Odansetron, Nefopam, Ciprofloxacin, Ursodeoxycholic Acid, Omeprazole, Saline neb/PEP system, Piriton, Mirtazapine, Diazepam.
Had a Port-a-cath fitted on chest wall since 11th Nov 05


starbrite
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 154
   Posted 8/28/2007 12:24 PM (GMT -7)   
If the unit is in the same hospital you won't have to worry about someone wanting to know where or how long you are going because they don't let you go anywhere unless it is scheduled and they go with you. You can't hide there, usually they also have cameras on the wall all over the place. Maybe it's not the same where you live but that's how it is here in PA.

Right now I am taking Wellebutrin and Diazepam. At one time my Psychiatrist had me on 6 different meds at the same time. I couldn't stop shaking and I had trouble doing anything. Before you consent to hospitalization you should check it out by going there or talking to you Dr. about the rules. I think a person knows when they have to be hospitalized if they are a threat to themselves or others, or cannot get their depression under control any other way.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 8/28/2007 12:39 PM (GMT -7)   

starbrite

This is Kitt and I am familiar with DID as I had a patient that had this diagonosis.

Have you and your therapist identified if your disorder was caused by childhood trauma?

Therapy is the treatment of choice for this disorder and use of AD's and some of the anti-anxiety meds if needed.

Just wanted you to know that there are some of us that do know the problems you are dealing with and please continue therapy. Hugs to you.


Respectfully
Kitt
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
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starbrite
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 154
   Posted 8/28/2007 2:30 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Kitt thanks for the encouagement. Yes my DID was caused by childhood se--al abuse by my dad. The depression is always there I think it is a brain thing it runs in the family. My therapist is excellent but I feel like I have been in therapy forever. Hugs to you too.
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