I am in need of help now.

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ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 9/1/2007 6:00 AM (GMT -7)   
It is funny,I became a mod knowing that I have been through so much in my life with depression that I could help others. And knowing it would help me by talking about it and relating my advice.
But,then I find that I am not sure how to vent when I need to now. Got to figure that one out quick.

My anger is starting to get worse.
I have been off of meds for almost 3 years now. But,I think I am going to have to give in.
I am angry at everything and everyone.

My kids are 17 and 19. My daughter and I (19 yr old) are not speaking because she wanted to borrow money again,I had to do the tough love because she owes me quite a bit already. And is not doing anything to get a job and get into college. If the money was for something very important, I of course would have given it to her. But she just wanted to fix her phone so she could text message. Good grief.

My b/f is causing most of the anger. I feel drained with him.
He decided that since my credit is not top of the line right now due to my divorce,that we will not be getting married.
Ok...hmmmm I am good enough to live with,clean your house,sleep with,babysit your nephews all of the time. Cater to your family...but making it legal is not going to happen? I am not sure I can deal with that.
After my divorce I said I would never get married again. Of course I am sure everyone says that.

All I want is stability. It is simple. I need to feel like I am accepted and wanted no matter what.

I feel drained financially also. I don't make alot right now. I am searching for a better job,but getting back on my feet has been hard.
We split the bills. And this man makes probably 10 times as much as I do.
I received 3 paychecks this month,and have already given him his set amount. I was thinking the 3rd paycheck would be extra to put in my savings.
He freaked out,saying he gets money every 2 weeks. Ummmm yes,you do but I have already given you the set amount,.so If I gave him more then basically I would be paying the rent all by myself this month? I did that in March not even thinking...
He forgets that I buy all of the household items...and after I added that up yesterday I am paying way over half of the household bills.
I don't get it.

He always makes reference to his millions of ex girlfriends. It drives me crazy.
So when he is mad at me,it seems that he is putting me in the same category as them. That infuriates me.
I do not deserve that. I cater to this man, and I am now wondering if I have created a monster.

I deal with his family almost every weekend and during the week. I do not hardly at all deal with my family,and when the time comes to do it he gripes about it.

I did not realize how selfish he really was. He has never been married. He can not make a major decision in his life without consulting him mom and dad.

I have gotten mad so many times and told him to grow up. But it goes in one ear and out the other (or he has to call his mom and dad and tell them I am having a meltdown again...grrrr)

His family is so demanding and they gossip so much it drives me crazy.
His last g/f just refused to deal with them one day and they broke up. He also refused to give her a ring after 4 years of being together. I am so tempted to have a lunch with her to find out her side...just to compare notes. But,I would never do that of course.

I do not want to go to the lake this weekend as his whole family will be there. But,he can't do anything by himself so if I do not go,then he will stay here and we will be fighting all weekend.

I am beginning to question myself in this relationship. Am I saying that I love him because he is not physically abusive like my ex husband? I do know that he can be somewhat mentally abusive although he doesn't get it. So am I settling? I told myself I would never do that.l preach to others to never do that and here I am...

Ok,I am somewhat done venting for now...I just want to scream and cry all weekend. I think I need a good "feel sorry for myself weekend" but I know it is not going to happen.



Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Lexapro,Zyban,Buspar,Clonazepam
Off of all meds at this time...woohoo!!
www.healingwell.com/donate



How can you talk without a brain?

I dunno...but alot of people talk without a brain don't they?

Dorthy and the Scarecrow-Wizard of Oz

Post Edited (ShynSassy) : 9/1/2007 7:06:29 AM (GMT-6)


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 9/1/2007 6:30 AM (GMT -7)   
((((((((((SHY))))))))))))))
What a crummie situation to be in! I hate to say it but stability comes from within, and with the deadweight you got (i.e. the bf) I just don't see that happening. I will check back later (hospital run) but I wanted you to know I care.
Forum Moderator 
I will find a way, or make one.-Philip Sidney
Make sure your suffering has meaning...


Gemsi
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 1050
   Posted 9/1/2007 6:33 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Shy.

I haven't got much advice I can give really, I just wanted you to know I'm here if you need to vent further really.

Meeting with your bf's ex would be bad IMO. If you said something wrong, or against your husband, chances are it could get back too him, and make things even more difficult for you.

Big hugs hun, and hope someone can come along with some better answers. I get what you mean about been a Mod and not wanting to post too much about your own problems, but at the same time, I think the same support system is in place whether your a mod or not. And if you need to vent, then everyone will still be open eared, and not think of you any less for it.

Gem
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ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 9/1/2007 7:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Navy and Gem. Just posting my thoughts helped alot I think.




Hugs back to both of you


Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Lexapro,Zyban,Buspar,Clonazepam
Off of all meds at this time...woohoo!!
www.healingwell.com/donate



How can you talk without a brain?

I dunno...but alot of people talk without a brain don't they?

Dorthy and the Scarecrow-Wizard of Oz


BronzeWatch
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 9/1/2007 8:46 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey, Shy
I really am sorry you have to deal with this. And I know it sounds kinda irritating but I don't know what to say or any Advice :S
I do have lots of books which can help situations like yours so I shall indeed consult them.

Susan

faithfully4you
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 870
   Posted 9/1/2007 9:44 AM (GMT -7)   
Shy~
(((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))
You know I am here for U!
Teresa
 
 The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today. Let us move forward with strong and active faith.


els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 9/1/2007 12:16 PM (GMT -7)   

Hey Shy...BIG HUGS out to you.  I can so relate to being a mod and finding it difficult to seek advice/suggestions in your own life.

As I was reading your post it reminded me so much of my relationship with my ex-husband.  We lived together for 7 yrs before we got married.  Of course everything was separate even though he made way much more money than I did.  We split the bills in half and he called that my "rent".  I always bought the groceries and household items like towels, blankets and stuff like that.  He had been married prior to me and he felt he was screwed over by her and never wanted to get married again.  I was young and felt that I loved him, now I think it was just security that I felt.  He was always very controlling about certain things which bothered me but I just overlooked them.  And he too always ran to his parents whenever we had an argument.  So anything they heard about me was always negative.

Anyhow, one day we got into a huge fight and I threw him out of our duplex.  He stayed at his parents for a few days then found his own place to live and after a week we got back together but still lived separately.  A week and half after that fight he asked me to marry him and I said yes.  I guess he needed to have that security too...I dont know.

We waited a year before we got married and still lived apart.  I really thought he would change in that time but he didnt.  The first few months were good but then he went back to his old ways and was even worse then before.  I was embarrassing to me to go to Wal-Mart and have his stuff he was buying and my stuff I paid for.  At one time we even bought matching towels and each paid for one separately.  He still divided the household bills down the middle (to the penny) and called it "rent" still even though we had bought a house together right before we married.

I really had to come to the conclusion that he was just a selfish person and everything revolved around him.  It wasn't a marriage or even a relationship it was being roommates and that was all.  I had pretty much stopped his "benefits" a year before I left.

Sorry Shy, this isnt about my relationship but it sounds similar.  You are such a strong woman to have survived everything you have and come out whole.  Your not broken and you dont have to settle.  You deserve so much more.  Just dont take that crap from him.

Luvs ya


Elisha
Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease
http://www.healingwell.com/donate


SophiaBella
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 150
   Posted 9/1/2007 5:57 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Shy,

You have been there for me, so I thought I would try and be there for you too.  I just have a few things to say sweets, (which as you know I am really long winded but I think in this situation the less said the better.)  I just want you to ponder this:

1. You are with a b/f that supposedly makes you feel secure, and I am assuming that you want to be loved right?  If this is the "right man" would you ever be considering going back on your meds?

2.We are all creatures that HATE change, and we will do almost anything to keep things the way they are, but is the way they are, healthy, and does it make you happy?

3. Being creatures that hate change, sometimes "depression" can be like an old friend and being depressed feels more normal than being happy.

4. When you got through your divorce, and you said what we all say "I will never do that again", is this the "type" of man whom you thought in the back of your mind, "I could do marriage again if he were only like what you have now?

Just things to think about. yeah

Hugs to you, Sophiabella

oh yea...ps you should kick yourself in the behind if you let him have anything from that 3rd check!!!  It is YOURS! Start demanding things in your life that make YOU happy, and when YOU are happy, you will be less apt to have tiffs with the kids.  Never settle for something less than what makes you happy, even though happiness is not something you are used to having on a continuing basis, you should try to have happiness, and to keep it when you do get it!  Dont settle for less, just because of what you are "used to feeling"  Okay, I am done now.  Keep us posted, we care about you too!! :-)    

 


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ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 9/2/2007 5:46 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you all!

I got tough and refused to give him anything. Forget it,he got his rent.
Elisha,he is not as bad as that YET. But I could see where it could easily happen and I am watching for it.
I did lay it on the line yesterday. And he has been sucking up this weekend. Almost to the point to where it is getting on my nerves.
I will make the right decision for me. Just need to make sure that I have all my ducks in a row.

Will keep you posted.

Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Lexapro,Zyban,Buspar,Clonazepam
Off of all meds at this time...woohoo!!
www.healingwell.com/donate



How can you talk without a brain?

I dunno...but alot of people talk without a brain don't they?

Dorthy and the Scarecrow-Wizard of Oz


els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 9/2/2007 3:45 PM (GMT -7)   

I am glad you took a stand and now he knows where your coming from Shy.  Sucking up is only good to a certain point.  You said rent and I had a flashback..

Oh! which reminds me...today I took my mom's dog Henry Miller (long story for another day) for a walk and this guy rides by me on this really nice brand new Harley.  He went about half a block down and turned around and came back up the road and then I saw it was my ex-husband.  I just kept my head up and focused on looking at the ground but I could feel him staring at me.  I cant believe the jerk went out and bought a Harley!  Oh well, you know what they say about little boys and their toys, trying to compensate for things they lack nono


Elisha
Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease
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stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/2/2007 8:32 PM (GMT -7)   

Hey Shy,

I am glad you were able to vent and get it out.  I so understand where your at and how difficult relationships can be. You are a wonderful and caring person and you deserve to be treated with kindness, respect, appreciation and love.  Keep your standard high and don't give in.

It takes two in a relationship and this may or may not be your soul mate but remember we are all here and care for you.  We support you.

I have been through some nasty relationships which included one divorce and got lucky and found a wonderful man...............married for 35 years now.  I knew this time around that the romance would wear off and we would settle in to comfort, caring and a special loving relationship.

So there is always a light at the end of the tunnel and it will shine on you.

Gentle Hugs.

 


Respectfully
Kitt
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
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SophiaBella
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 150
   Posted 9/2/2007 9:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Shy,
 
I just wanted to know how you are doing, especially after the long weekend.  Hang in there, you are a giver and that should give you the karma you need to make a decision that only you can make, only YOU know what is best for You!  I am glad he is kissing you a**, pehaps when you really put your foot down, he will quit taking advantage of you.  You know as with emotional abuse, it is the same as physical abuse, the only difference is the bruises are on the inside for nobody to see, and only you to feel.  Now that he is kissing yout a**, is shows that he always knew what you really wanted. My counselor once told me that that means that he knew all along what is was that you needed from him, and he didnt do it until there was a threat of losing you.  To me, them knowing what you want and not giving it to you until it may benefit them is the worst thing of all.  It means they are aware of what you need and dont give it to you on perpose, and that is worse than the emotioal abuse itself.  Of couse he has his good points, they all do, otherwise we wouldnt have fallen in love with them to begin with.  There is always that hope that maybe, just maybe he gained respect for you, and maybe he will change?  I think we all hope that for you.  I hope everything works out for you, you deserve the best!  Please don't forget that sweets!
 
Hugs, sophiabella

djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 9/3/2007 1:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Shy,
 
Im so sorry to hear your in such a pickle right now. There doesnt seem to be an obviously easy answer and I wish I could help you more since you do so much to help me. I think you are doing the right thing with the tough love routine on your daughter. Hopefully, by doing this, it will help 'teach her the value of a pound' (Or in this case dollar!) As for the marriage... give it time. Things could be very different in 6 months time. You just never know. If you ever fancy emailing me, you know where I am.
 
Keep your chin up
 
Darren
Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
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Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
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ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 9/4/2007 5:19 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi there
I did have a major meltdown on Sunday. He hurt himself on a jet ski (acting like he is 16 again) and I was trying to help him,and he decided to bite my head off...that was enough to cause me to blow and blow big I did.
I totally freaked everyone out,and they spent the rest of the weekend walking around on eggshells.
The problem with his family is they will say about anything to try to make me feel better because they are afraid that I am going to end this relationship. That is kinda funny really,they see the signs of why a woman would not want to be in a relationship with him,and they have seen the women come and go..so they are trying to hold onto me.

I brought that to his attention too (along with about everything else).
I need to stop holding things in,because when I blow then everything comes out.

One day at a time,I also told him I am not sure I want to marry him anymore.
Divorce is very expensive,and right now I can just walk and not look back.
He didn't like that but too bad.

Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Lexapro,Zyban,Buspar,Clonazepam
Off of all meds at this time...woohoo!!
www.healingwell.com/donate



How can you talk without a brain?

I dunno...but alot of people talk without a brain don't they?

Dorthy and the Scarecrow-Wizard of Oz


Singer69
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 197
   Posted 9/4/2007 9:49 AM (GMT -7)   
Shy,

I'm sorry to hear that you are in this type of situation. I think that you've had some good advice here, but I thought that I'd give you my two cents considering A) the situation that I'm in currently and B) you've been a big help with my situation and very supportive.

The one thing that I can honestly recommend is that you figure all of these things out with your boyfriend BEFORE you marry. You're already on that track, but I can tell you from experience (as you know) that looking for that security in a relationship can make you turn a blind eye to things that really need attention before you commit.

I'm certainly not saying that he isn't the right guy, he might be, but clearly he's got a bunch of things he needs to work on before he can be the husband you deserve. Same thing with my wife. If I had to do all over again, I would have insisted that we work through our issues before we exchanged vows. I think that we would have saved ourselves a lot of heartache and a lot of the pain that we're going through (and the kids are going through) right now.

Take care and be strong for yourself.

Rick...
When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandpa, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.


mamo
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 52
   Posted 9/4/2007 10:48 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi,

I am new to this discussion but not new to depression. I think I can remember having sad thoughts at a very young age confused

It is good to vent, and get opinions from everyone, but in the end it is your decision yeah

You have to weigh the goods and the bads, see which one outweighs the other. Sometimes when we are depressed we tend to let everything and everyone get to us. Your decision has to be what makes you happy. If you are afraid you can't make it on your own, "you have just said you pay almost all the rent" maybe you really can make it on your own. I am not one to preach at anyone, I simply just try to help them look at things in a different prespective. If you are not on medication maybe it is time to get on some. I can go off my medication maybe for 6 months, but I know when it is time to get back on it. I hate taking meds and did not take them for a long time because I thought it made me a weak person. But I would much rather have happy thoughts then lay in bed and not want to get up. Back to you, you will decide when it is time for you. Things might look a little different when you get back on some meds, then again you might decide you have had enough and go out on your own. Your bf is probley old enough he should of cut his apron strings, but if he hasn't by now he most likely never will, and you don't need that. Your family is as important as his is. So don't let him get away with not being able to have your family near you nono

I wish you luck and if you ever need someone to talk to just hollar, I am a good listener

Take care of YOU smurf   You are IMPORTANT TO!! :-)


Debbie T
 
 
 
 
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Another Day
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1055
   Posted 9/4/2007 9:42 PM (GMT -7)   

Shy,

I think Rick has given you some excellent advice.  In my opinion, you all have way too many ups and downs to even think about getting married without a lot of therapy.  I think you need to be real sure you want to be a part of that family.

From what I can see, there's an explosion, things calm down and then you minimize it.  You seem like too nice of a person to go through life like that.  Please take good care of yourself.

Take care!

Carla

 


 Epilepsy, asthma, GERD, depression, hypothyroidism


SophiaBella
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 150
   Posted 9/5/2007 1:07 AM (GMT -7)   
Dear Shy,
First of all, I am sending you a big hug, you must be exhausted at this point!  I am sorry to hear that you had to fill all your meds again. Can I just ask you a few questions?  Um, well, first of all, I cant remember if you had already said it, but how old is this "man"? Secondly, you said you were off your meds for several years.  What was going on in your life that made it so that you didnt NEED any medication? My last question sweets, I promise, we all hear how bad this guy is and the bad things that he has done, and of course in our minds it is like "What is the matter with this shy girl why doesnt she just leave the a** H**e!" Well, I just figure by how he flaunts how many girlfriends he has had, he has to be good looking, but you know the fact that he flaunts it is because he is so very insecure and wants you to really truely believe how very lucky you are to have him, because "so many other women have in the past" So, what is so great about this guy?  What do you really love about him, honestly?  What are his good qualities?  If all we hear is the bad stuff, how can we give you any sound advice?  I know you need to vent here, and I am probably the biggest venter on the entire boards and of course venting is good for you, but we just gotta know why this man is worth going back on your meds for?  List every good quality you can think of if you can, okay!
I really hurt for you the way you life is going, so I need to hear some good stuff, and if there really isnt any, then you dont really need our advice, you just get out of it, and I mean run!!!  But I am sure there has to be something wonderful about him, so let us know. tongue   
Hugs,
sophiabella


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 9/5/2007 5:03 AM (GMT -7)   
Everyone
Thank you for your advice,and you are right I do need to get my act together before I even think about going further with this relationship. I am working on that.

There are alot of good things about him,I think most of my problem is coming from such a abusive relationship I look for things that are not right. I expect the worst and make little things into huge things in my mind.

The reason I am off of meds is because I moved away from my ex husband,I went into a stable environment basically. His family does cause alot of stress during the summer. And we have already talked about not being around them so much because at some point I can not handle it. He is used to it,I am not and do not want to be.

He is a great guy. Very insecure,and tries to act like he is not. It is funny though,when I first met him I thought he could do no wrong,he was so smart,so cute ect ect. Now I am seeing the faults and it is freaking me out.
He should have faults,and he has to put up with my many faults.

I know he cares and loves me,I think that his past relationships jaded him too.
My blind eye has sight now,and I need to figure out whether or not I like it...

Here is the deal ,am I better off with or without him. Can I imagine my life without him in it. Do I need him?

I have been asking myself these questions and the answer is, I need him. I just need him to work with me on the things that are bothering us both.

No matter what I decide I will be ok, I know that

Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Lexapro,Zyban,Buspar,Clonazepam
Off of all meds at this time...woohoo!!
www.healingwell.com/donate



How can you talk without a brain?

I dunno...but alot of people talk without a brain don't they?

Dorthy and the Scarecrow-Wizard of Oz


MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 9/5/2007 6:13 AM (GMT -7)   
Shy,
I am all for therapy. Being that I am a therapy student that is proably just bias. But in all actuallity you never need someone, you want someone. Also everyone has faults. Are you doing therapy on your own? I think therapy for the both of you is called for here. Both couple and individual for both of you. Couple because you both have past relationship issues intruding upon this one. Plus there are boundary issues with extended family.  Perhaps family therapy is called for as well, because the children issue. Individual because you both have formative issues (i.e. self esteem, p.s. male overcompensating is quite normal).
Take care!
Navy


Forum Moderator 
I will find a way, or make one.-Philip Sidney
Make sure your suffering has meaning...

Post Edited (MMMNAVY) : 9/5/2007 7:17:16 AM (GMT-6)


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 9/5/2007 3:04 PM (GMT -7)   
I am in therapy for myself Navy,he will never go.
I can't even get him to go to the doctor and I know what is reaction would be.
I think in his mind if he has to actually work at something,then it is not worth it.


Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Lexapro,Zyban,Buspar,Clonazepam
Off of all meds at this time...woohoo!!
www.healingwell.com/donate



How can you talk without a brain?

I dunno...but alot of people talk without a brain don't they?

Dorthy and the Scarecrow-Wizard of Oz


Ann3425
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 9/5/2007 4:04 PM (GMT -7)   
I know what you mean my BF cancelled plans for a B and B the day before and he is not willing to meet me halfway. I find a like situation difficult...I know your frustration!!! Hang in there

ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 9/5/2007 4:46 PM (GMT -7)   
Ann
It might be years from now,but we will make it through it..at some point which way can we go? ;)


Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Lexapro,Zyban,Buspar,Clonazepam
Off of all meds at this time...woohoo!!
www.healingwell.com/donate



How can you talk without a brain?

I dunno...but alot of people talk without a brain don't they?

Dorthy and the Scarecrow-Wizard of Oz


SophiaBella
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 150
   Posted 9/5/2007 11:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Dear Shy,
You know what hell I am going through on my post.  He also talked about the many many x-girlfriends, and I could never really figure out why, because I was in the la la stage of falling in love with him.  I saw some of the immature ways, and thought, I can live with that, this guy is so loving and giving, and never ever argues.  (he still doesnt argue, he always ends up saying he is sorry in the end)  He was the exact opposite of my abusive x-husband.  I had money, he didnt, I didnt care because he was what every woman dreamed about having. (except for the money)  Always considerate, good values, strong in his views, but open minded to mine, and did I mention he is movie star drop dead good looking in a younger 6'4" George Clooney kinda way?  He was strong and gentle too.  Yet, there were things that bothered me a bit, like why is he just 3 years younger than me and he doesnt have anything to show for it?  Why is he driving a 20 year old sports car that he was in love with?.....but ya know, those things were like distant bells in the back of my mind, and that is where I kept them, never to be analized.  Had I known, or had enough balls so to speak to look at the things that were way back in the back of my mind, I would have not gotten so serious, I would have ran the other way.   (well ...after a few dates anyway he is the best looking man I have ever seen in person! haha),,,,,and now here I am in hell.  You sweets, on the other hand, have the distant bells clanging in your head so loud, you cant hear or see what you need to see.  You have a chance, the best chance that can be given to any woman before she marries, you can see a glimmer of your future....your true future before you get married.  All of those tears are a blessing, not a curse.  Going back on your meds, is a sign from above, not a curse.  You are truely blessed.  Be happy those bells are there so loud right now.  You can keep going and fight the bells, or go the path you were meant to be on.  It is up to you.
I personally believe that we all have a destiny, and every single time I have fought to have my way, things turned out really bad, and when I just let me life flow the way it was suppose to, things were easy, good things fall in your lap without a struggle.  How you choose to live your life is up to you.  Either way, we are all here to care about you, worry about you, and be happy for you with what ever choice you make, or road you take in life.  Keep us posted, we are all human, we all understand , we have all been there.........
 
Big Hugs,
Sbella

ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 9/6/2007 4:14 AM (GMT -7)   
Hugs back to you Sbella
Thank you so much for your kind words. I am very glad that you are on this forum.



Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Lexapro,Zyban,Buspar,Clonazepam
Off of all meds at this time...woohoo!!
www.healingwell.com/donate



How can you talk without a brain?

I dunno...but alot of people talk without a brain don't they?

Dorthy and the Scarecrow-Wizard of Oz

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