The American Cancer Society is a great idea. How about your church if you belong to one. I am so sorry your cancer is still with you.
Are you close to one of the big Cancer facilities? If you are please consider a second opinion. Children do not like to face reality and they don't understand the seriousness of illness. That is not an excuse but it helps you realize that your children will not be your number one support person.
Please don't hide and just give up sweetie. You are cared about here and keep talking to us. Gentle Hugs
I hope you will consider taking Panda's advice and make those phone calls. There could be some help right around the corner from you and you don't even know it. I know you're too tired to even concentrate right now, but one of those phone calls could be your answer.
As for your children, who knows, maybe they are trying to appear strong when they are around you right now. Maybe they are trying to pretend nothing is going on. I don't really know much about your situation, so that only a guess. I am glad you went back home because you can not be alone right now. I wish you had a more loving and caring environment, but at least you are not alone.
Please know we love and care about you here.
Love and prayers,