Post Edited (ozfm) : 9/17/2007 2:25:09 AM (GMT-6)
Post Edited (ShynSassy) : 9/18/2007 5:52:58 AM (GMT-6)
dori, it was like you were describing me. I am going through the very same thing. Although, I didn't lose my mother, I am very sorry to hear that. I lost my grandmother 2 years ago. It has really hard and still is. We were very very close and my life almost felt empty without her there for me all the time. So, I can't relate exactly, but I know what you are going through. I am everything you descibed. Sometimes I am ok and I live with it, but sometimes I just break down and cry alot. I don't let anyone know, though. I hold it all inside myself and try my best to hide it, but it is always on my mind and I can't seem to get past it. I haven't tried medication because I usually have bad side effects to meds so I was afraid to try anything just yet. If I were being honest with myself it is probably because I don't want anyone to know.
I just want to let you know that I am 16, in high school and with that comes pressure yea, but it is really hard when the people around me everyday talk about how some people are crazy in there minds or take 'happy pills' and that kind of stuff. I just want to smack them and tell them straight that they are so wrong. They don't know how we feel and say hurtful things without knowing. I would tell them, but I am afraid they would think I were crazy or something. They talk about people alot an I am afraid they will talk about me, but eventually I want to tell them and be an advocate. I want to speak out to my community and teach them that it is ok and it isn't something that people should hide(like I am doing) and that they shouldn't say the things they say.
Sorry, I am getting off track, that seems to happen to me alot, I am sure you understand...anyways, I am not sure what I can say to help. I am in counseling myself. Which helps while I am there, but other than that it doesn't really help. I just try to live everyday thinking that the next will be better. I know I have good and bad days. I try to take advantage of my good days because I don't have many of them. I can always tell the difference. I can't imagine it being any worse for me, but I know it could be worse no matter how bad it gets so I do my best to appreciate that it isn't worse.
I wake up everyday hoping that I am my old self again, but honestly I don't want to be my old self. I want to be a new self. I want to be better than I was and use this experience and everything I have been through to my advantage.
I really hope you can find some relief. I know how it is to be frustrated at it because you just want it to go away so you can feel better. I just keep hoping it will. When and if the time is right it will happen, it will get better. I hope you get better soon.
Tegretol (Assuming we are talking about the same thing) is an anti-convulsant drug normally given for epileptics. I have taken Tegretol for years. As far as I am aware it is not used for depression as it is neither an SSRI or an SNRI.
Hi there and Welcome to HealingWell!
I am so glad that you have found us and I hope that you get all the love and support you need here. How long have you been on meds & therapy? How old are your children? You are spot on in saying that it is tough to live with but you must understand that this is not something that is gone in a week.
Keep us posted
Hope you're doing ok....
Tegretol is an anti-convulsant as djdaz said, and it's not an anti-depressant, but it can be used for mood swings and nerve pain. I take Effexor XR for depression and the Tegretol is used for the mood swings - I think it's the combination that does the trick for me. It was that or Lithium, and this has worked really well for me . It does have its downside of course - I had to be blood tested monthly for a while for to check for various things including liver function, which was an issue, but has settled.
I can certainly understand you being wary about anti-depressants, but sometimes that's what it takes, though IMHO, you really need to be under close medical supervision. I continue to see a clinical psychologist and believe the combination really helped me, as well as going back to work part-time. But it's so hard to make suggestions or give advice as we all have so many variables.
Please persist with your doctor, I know it's tiring and wearing but I think that in the end it will be worthwhile of you can find something that works for you.
And please, don't be too hard on yourself, you've had a rough trot and you've got a lot on your plate. Treat yourself as you would treat your closest friend, be kind to yourself and don't put too much pressure on yourself.