hi there i just joined this forum wondered if someone could give me some advice!
my boyfriend is depressed although he wont admit it. His dad had depression and i fear its passed to him. He has gone thru a long period of illness resulting in surgery and this has gone on for over 8 months - we live quite far apart from each other and its been really strained as we have hardly seen each other. Im totally at the mercy it feels of his moods and he is really pushing me away and feels that any help i try to give him is just highlighting his weakness or something. I have been thru the illness that he has been thru so can totally understand how this has felt for him but he wont accept that.
he says that he isnt depressed - that he is just down from his illness but i dont think this is the case. I love him so much but cant make him see that its affecting us so much. he blows up at the slightest thing i say that isnt what he wants to hear and then tells me i stress him out and he doesnt want to talk for a few days etc.
since his surgery its not got better although i thought he would be on the mend. he still wont make the trip to see me and i feel that he is worried to leave the house almost. i can see the signs of depression but he wont admit to them. in the meantime i feel like the enemy or the instigator in any arguments when actually all I want to do is support and help him but what I cant do is keep my mouth shut when I hear of him destroying himself.
Any advice? i think we are on the verge of spliiting and I really dont want this but his depression is really destroyingn our relationship