I know you have been through so much and that the end of the road is still in the distance, but you are a fantastically stong person with so much willpower and you should be proud of that. You ask "Can I make it?", I am confident that you will. I know that things are hard at the moment but I believe in Karma. "What goes around, comes around". You will get your reward, but you might have to be a little more patient.
We are all here for you
You will make it, I truly believe that. I am a firm believer in Hope.
Hope is a desire accompanied by confident expectation. Having a sense of hope is the foundation for ongoing recovery from mental illness. Even the smallest belief that we can get better, as others have, can fuel the recovery process
Believe in yourself as I believe in you gentle lady. Take my hand.
Hugs to you and lots of prayers.
Randy has made some excellent points in saying that progress is all about "baby steps" Dont try and rush things. Do you remember the race between the tortoise and the hare? (You do have that in the US right?) The moral to the story: "Slow and steady wins the race". You can do it and I have every faith in you. We are all here for you and will egg you on all the way to the finish line if thats what you want!
Big British Hugs