Hi there and Welcome to HealingWell,
I am glad that you have found us and that you have already started to feel the benifit from sharing your story. Just picking up on your langauge, are you from the UK? We are a big family here and we often 'bounce off' each other. We give suppor to those who are down and then we receive the support when we need it most.
Big British Hugs
The only reason I picked up that you were English was the fact that you used the word "mum". Americans use "mom". Britain is the only country I could think of that spelt it that way... it wasnt your spelling at all!
As for going on and boring everyone, dont worry about it! Im sure your not and forums are designed for people to air their views and opinions on a variety of topics. Please feel free to "go on and bore everyone" as much as you want, that is what we are here for. If you dont talk, we cant support you! lol
There is no point in seeing a councillor if you are not ready as the therapy will not be effective in helping you. When the meds take effect, you may feel differently and they may give you the boost you need to get through therapy.