What is my problem.

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UCisNOFUN
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 9/30/2007 11:27 PM (GMT -7)   
I don't think I've ever been properly diagnosed. Docs say its depression and anxiety, but I don't know. Sometimes, when I wake up, I am in a very dark place. Its like I feel like im a bad person. Ive done bad things in my life that I am ashamed of and I feel guilty over but these are things I did in my teens, Im 30 now, I would never do those things now for I know how much I could hurt people. Nevertheless I am plagued with guilt. This dark feeling I get is weird, its scary, its like a world inside myself without love. Its like the opposite of love. Also, I isolate myself most of the time and when Im out people always ask me why I look so down. I could be in an ok mood but people still ask why I look so angry. So when Im in public I feel like I have to force a smile, cause one rarely comes naturally. My only social interactions are dates from dating lines and my mom occasionally. I want to be normal. The only way I can find happiness is to hide in my house, overeat and watch movies.

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Post Edited By Moderator (djdaz_1985) : 10/1/2007 4:57:59 AM (GMT-6)


djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 10/1/2007 4:03 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi there and welcome to HealingWell!

Feelings of guilt (Especially if they are left to 'brew' for a number of years) can manifest itself as depression later in life. The good news is that it is treatable if you see a doctor. It sounds like you would benifit from talking therapy and possibly some meds to help give you a boost so that you can get the most out of the therapy.

Im sorry that you feel the way that you do, but please share your pain with us so that we can help support you. We are all very close here and would welcome you into our 'family'. Always remember: "Its good to talk!" (Anyone from the UK who remembers the old BT advert is probably chuckling to themselves now!)

Darren 


Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 10/1/2007 4:54 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi guy
I too wanted to welcome you to the forum,I am sure you will find the support that you are looking for.
Our pasts seem to always creep up on us when we are dealing with depression. It is very hard to get over,and harder to forgive ourselves.

As Darren said,use this forum to vent,and express yourself. We all are dealing with alot of issues,and sometimes it feels better to type it out.

Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Lexapro,Zyban,Buspar,Clonazepam

Have been med free for 2 years now.

www.healingwell.com/donate



How can you talk without a brain?

I dunno...but alot of people talk without a brain don't they?

Dorthy and the Scarecrow-Wizard of Oz


UCisNOFUN
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 10/2/2007 11:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you both for your responses. I think venting to peers is a good form of therapy. I really wish I would journal and meditate, but all I ever want to do is distract myself from me via tv and overeating. Maybe I need structured meditation, like a class, then maybe Ill actually do it. Anyone try that?
 I was diagnosed with U.C. in early 2007. I am 30, single and no kids.
I am currently taking 4 Lialda pills a day and 30 mg of Prednisone temporarily.
Also I take:Propecia(hair loss), Trentenoin(acne), Paxil(depression), Allegra(allergies), Advair&albuterol(asthma), multi-vitamins, b-complex, flax oil.
I eat a vegan diet.


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 10/3/2007 5:31 AM (GMT -7)   
I have never tried it,but I know that it works for alot of people.
That is the step in the right direction,you should research that right away.


Please keep us posted and stay strong.


Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Lexapro,Zyban,Buspar,Clonazepam

Have been med free for 2 years now.

www.healingwell.com/donate



How can you talk without a brain?

I dunno...but alot of people talk without a brain don't they?

Dorthy and the Scarecrow-Wizard of Oz


UCisNOFUN
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 10/4/2007 11:06 AM (GMT -7)   
So you are med free? That is great, I went off Paxil and was back in my slump right away and I was the moodiest son of a gun you'd ever seen. Im on 20 mgs now, Im thinking about tappering off over the next year, but first I need to get serious about meditation and journaling. I just prefer avoiding myself, you know. Maybe Ill get rid of my tv again and then Ill be forced to look at myself in the mirror. Thanks again to your support guys :)
 I was diagnosed with U.C. in early 2007. I am 30, single and no kids.
I am currently taking 4 Lialda pills a day and 30 mg of Prednisone temporarily.
Also I take:Propecia(hair loss), Trentenoin(acne), Paxil(depression), Allegra(allergies), Advair&albuterol(asthma), multi-vitamins, b-complex, flax oil.
I eat a vegan diet.


Another Day
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1055
   Posted 10/4/2007 5:23 PM (GMT -7)   
30,
 
I hope you don't try to taper off the Paxil without talking to your doctor.  I see you have some other health issues going on also.  Give yourself a bit of a break, you are dealing with a lot.  Try to take it a day at a time.  You do need to get out and be around other people even if you just go to the library or to a bookstore.  Why don't you try to set yourself some goals such as: this week I will make myself go out in public two times or something like that.   I noticed you are on Prednisone, which I also have to take for asthma.  It doesn't help your mood swings any either, but when you have to take it, you have to take it.
 
Welcome to the forum and I hope you stay in touch with us.
 
Take care!
 
Carla

 Epilepsy, asthma, GERD, depression, hypothyroidism


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 10/5/2007 5:08 AM (GMT -7)   
30,
Believe me it took me a long time to get to this point. And I still struggle with it everyday.
But,there is hope for all of us.



Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Lexapro,Zyban,Buspar,Clonazepam

Have been med free for 2 years now.

www.healingwell.com/donate



How can you talk without a brain?

I dunno...but alot of people talk without a brain don't they?

Dorthy and the Scarecrow-Wizard of Oz

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