I am so very sorry it came to this
I know what is like being a single parent being how I am one. So even $30.00 is a lot of maney (utility bill for 1 month, etc.) But given his condition, you really have to ask yourself if you want to put yourself in theposition for continued drama and emotional hell. There is no gaurantee how long his episode will last and to what extent he will perform viscious acts to hurt you.
Please remember, this is not your ex-partner, but the illness that is making him do it. His choosing not to seek treatment for something that is causing such obvious adverse affects in his life is more than dissapointing to you I'm sure. The illness makes them feel as if all their actions ar completely justified and totally sane. We see it from the outside in a logical manner, but they don't have that luzury at the time they are experiencing a mania/episode.
I am going to assume that whatever possessions your son has at your ex's place is replaceable right? E-bay is a source to tap for replacement purposes. Another is your local Craigslist.com.
You are in a really painful, heart wrenching position right now and I must say that my thoughts go out to you. I do not wish the same for myself or anyone else I know. As cliche as it is, TIME does help to heal and move on.
Of and on, I think about whether I will be in the same boat as you...with my own partner. It may happen, but I am hoping and praying it doesn't. Life is not predictable, that's is for sure!
I hope this response helped you. Please know we are all here for you, not matter what :)
I agree to break the ties and write off the belongings as you will find yourself upset and having to deal with a difficult situation. Yes, your right, it is not fair but perhaps your son does not miss the items as much as you feel the injustice of not having your ex-boyfriend return them as he should.
For your own mental health keep the break clean and let go. I am so sorry you are going through this...coming here and talking about this as well as sharing it with others is the best thing to do. Asking for help is a sure sign of your desire to handle this in the best way possible.
I wish you peace and happiness. Gentle Hugs to you.
Thank you all again. I know I have posted this in another thread but bf did not disclose his clinical depression or rehab stay. He was released from rehab literally days from our first date. He just seems so normal when you first meet him...well educated, attentive, loving and giving. Shy, I think you are right when he realizes he is punishing my son (it is his bike, his only fishing pole and tackle, games, etc...stuff you would keep at a vacation place to entertain a child) by not giving him back his stuff...then he will return them I hope. I really did and do care about this man. Yet, I am proud that I am not trying to go to his apt. to force him to talk this out. It is what I have done the other three times he barracked himself inside his apt. and refused to go or to talk to anyone outside of work. In the year, I dated him I never used a bad word towards him. Yet, in the last week he has made comments about being too easy with the guys...now you know what words I am talking about. I think he gets to drinking in his apt. and then lets the insults roll usually on email. Anyway, I lost my cool and gave it back to him for the first time earlier this week. He then warned me not to contact him about returning stuff from vacation place because "...I shouldn't turn my back on a wounded animal (him of course)."
You folks are all right...I know that. He even had the audacity to email me about the beautiful new woman in his life and his plans for them to be together this weekend (wink, wink). I know you folks keep telling me how easy for an untreated person to disassociate their feelings but man he is cold. Also, did not tell me married four times only said once for a relatively long period. Anyway, so may lies and omissions that he is a really confused guy. I am done. He does have some positive elements but I am losing sight of them in all the fighting. Glad that has stopped. There is hope after this right? Thanks. Ann
Well you are so right about meeting new men who are healthy...I think I found someone who does not lie and does deal with medical issues. It has been fun casually dating as opposed to being enmeshed in drama all the time...esp. when it isn't even my drama. I continue to heal and am trying to just focus on myself and my son. It has been a year of discovery that I do not wish to repeat. Thank you all for your support. I think God's gives us pillars when we need them...and I sure needed them. Ann
Post Edited (EagleCT) : 10/13/2007 8:18:01 AM (GMT-6)