Post Edited (Ciddy) : 10/6/2007 2:55:14 PM (GMT-6)
You need to talk to your parents asap and that means now. This is a support forum and you are very welcome here, but if you are having these thoughts you need to seek help immediately.
Here is the phone number to call and talk to someone.
U.S National Crisis Hotline please call 1-800-784-2433
Please include your parents in your health issues.
Please tell someone how you are feeling...it doesn't have to be a counselor. It could be one of your friend's parents, a coach, a teacher, your doctor, someone from church - any adult you trust. Your friend is absolutely right that you should tell someone. It sound like this friend would be willing to help you find the right person to tell.
There's nothing wrong with seeing a counselor. I started seeing one when I was your age because I was having some problems. Even though I thought it was silly at the time, I look back now and am very glad I had the opportunity to see someone.
There is a lot of support on this forum as well, but you really need someone to talk to face-to-face. Let us know what you decide to do. Hang in there.
I think its a shame that your parents are not being as supportive as they could be but dont let their view belittle your problem. What you are feeling is real and I think you should definately see a doctor about it. A councillor would be a good thing for you and there is no shame in seeing one. Please sort the problem now before it escalates.
Post Edited (Ciddy) : 10/7/2007 4:40:14 PM (GMT-6)
Tell her as much as you feel like telling her in that moment. Just listen to yourself and if you trust your teacher and want to continue talking, just do it.
I remember when I was your age and going through a rough time at school, I talked to my social studies and English teachers about it. They was very respectful and comforting, and were able to help me in a way that didn't feel threatening. Ultimately, it involved my parents, but I think that's incredibly important to do. Your teachers can help you figure out a way to best approach this and can help you find other avenues.
Just remember you're not alone in this and you can get lots of help to feel better.
Dont worry about all the questions. That is what we are here for. Sarita has given you some good advice. Dont let people force you into saying things you dont want to say. Take it at your own pace. If it is a difficult subject, explain that you are not sure how to say it and then just say it as it comes out... sort it out after. (Thats what me and my mum always used to do). I know that its scary but you will feel much better for getting it off your chest.
This past week has been absolutely terrible; The nightmares have gotten so much worse that I'm afraid to g to sleep. They were usually about people "losing faith" in me and people I love turning against me. Today, after school, I fell asleep on the couch and had a dream that I was burned at the stake because I was a "witch." And there were others about me being assaulted, by a young man in his 20s and a very muscular female. But that wasn't the worst part....
I'm not sure how to explain it, but when I tried to wake, I couldn't. I was alert, but I couldn't move. I managed to open my eyes a little, and you could never imagine what I saw. I had literally seen Death (or the Grim Reaper). I was TERRIFIED; I thought I was dead.
Well, anyway, reality hasn't been that great either. Because of everything going on, I guess you can say my grades haven't been up to par. I'm practically failing Science and that basically adds wood to the fire. I pulled my friend aside at the begining of 4th period to let some anger out. Unfortunetly I said some things I didn't mean and my Literature teacher overheard. She pulled me out of class and demanded me to tell her what was wrong. I started having a panic attack, the worst one yet, and asked her if I could go to the bathroom and calm down. She refused to let me do anything until I told her. She was completely uncompassionate, and, thanks to my English teacher, she knows all about my condition.
Apparently, they discuss the things I tell them with each other, after I had asked my English teacher to promise me she would't tell my Literature teacher. But of course, I can't trust anyone, now can I? The Literature teacher thinks it's my grades that are making me feel this way (it isn't, but it's just adding more stress) She told my English teacher this, and they acted like I had wasted there time.
They're also having an intervention with me tommorow...They're bringing in the counselor, my mother, the two teachers, and the principal to get to the root of the problem.
I'm basically on edge and afraid I'm going to do something stupid. There's no way out of this and I have no idea what to do. I had an episode last night where I could have possibly harmed myself, but I didn't. I couldn't do it at home. I don't want to sound like a crybaby but I just have no idea what to do. Do you guys have any advice?
I thought long and hard about what I am about to say, and decided that I would say it even though I know it is a controversial subject. I read Tarot cards (kinna like fortune telling) and the 13th major card is Death. So many people are afraid of him and what he brings because of the image they give him in films etc... but there is nothing to be scared of at all. Death (in the VAST majority of cases) is simply an indicator of major change. A change in direction or perhaps a change in situation. I want to stress though that this is simply my opinion and opinions on such subjects are very divided.
As for what you should do about the intervention... I think you need to choose someone you can be COMPLETELY honest with... someone you can tell everything to and tell them. If you want privacy to be guaranteed, you are best choosing a medical professional. Teachers always share info about students, but at the same time... they have NO RIGHT to know your medical history providing you are not putting anyone in danger. (Thats how it works in the UK and im sure its probably the same elsewhere as well).
Thinking of you
Post Edited (ShynSassy) : 10/17/2007 4:42:22 AM (GMT-6)
Im so sorry that your parents are not being more supportive. I would have hoped that if your fater suffered from the same thing that they would recognise what you are going through. Do you have a firm diagnosis from a health professional? Perhaps speaking to a doctor rather than a councillor would help?
Post Edited (ShynSassy) : 10/21/2007 7:38:51 AM (GMT-6)
I agree with Shy. Taking time out for your self is a good idea but bear in mind that if you completely hide away, it can make things worse. Also bear in mind that excessive sleep can be bad for you in the same way that not enough sleep is. Im glad yeterday was a good day and I hope that today gets better for you. Like Shy, I think you should still see the doctor.