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starless.eyes
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 10/13/2007 7:32 PM (GMT -7)   
I feel so lost and I don't know what to do anymore.
 
I'm resorting to telling complete strangers on this site my problems.
this is my last try, I really hope someone on here can give me advice because I can't live like this anymore.
 
I've never posted on any forums so please bear with me if I don't do this right.
 
I guess I'll just tell yo the basics.
 
I am 16 years old.
I am fairly certain that I have depression.
I've felt like this ever since I can remember, but recently its gotten worse.
I finally gained the courage to tell my mom that I want to see a therapist but I had to lie about why I wanted to go because I just couldn't bring myself to tell my mom that I'm feeling so miserable.
So now I'm seeing a therapist but she thinks that my problem is social anxiety. because thats what I told her.
I've only been to two sessions but I lied in them and now I feel bad saing that to her.
After the last session I finally decided to tell my mom how misserable I've been feeling lately but she said I was just feeling like that because therapy doesn't give immediate results.
I know thats true but I also know that I've been feeling like this for years!
right now i just can't handle this anymore.
i'm breaking down and i just want to end everything.
i feel so scared and alone.
i just dont know what to do.
i don't want to live this life anmore.

Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 10/13/2007 9:02 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Starless,  I am so sorry for what you are going thru right now.  I know it seems like nothng will get better.  I think you need to re-emphazie to your Mom just how bad you are feeling.  I also think you need to come clean with the therapist and tell her what is happening.  No one can help you unless they know exactly what is going on with you.  It sounds like you may need some meds.  I think the most important thing is to let your family and therapist know how badly you are feeling.  And therapy does take time but I also think that the therapist can do something to relieve your bad feelings.  Is there anything else going on?  Have you had a physical exam to rule out any medical problems?  I know this seems like the worst time in the world but there is help out there for you.  You just need to find the right people to help.  Can you talk to a guidance counselor at school?  That might help to convey your feelings and get your Mom to pay more attention to you.  One thing I do know is that you can and will get better.  I think posting on this forum and getting your feelings out willl help.  Just write whatever you are feeling.  Everyone here cares so much and that goes for caring about you.  Take care and let us know how you are doing. You are definitely not alone on this forum.

Aurora


Another Day
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1055
   Posted 10/13/2007 9:34 PM (GMT -7)   
Starless,
 
Please keep coming back here and talking to us.  Like Aurora said, we really do care.  We're kind of like a big family here. 
 
Is your mother going in with you for your therapy session?  If so, you probably need to be going in by yourself and you definitely need to be honest with your therapist for it to work.  Your therapist may want some sessions with you and your mother, but it sounds like you need some one on one to get started.
 
Please stay in touch with us and let us know how you are doing.
 
Big hugs to you!
 
Carla

 Epilepsy, asthma, GERD, depression, hypothyroidism


djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 10/14/2007 3:19 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi there Starless and Welcome to HealingWell!

Im sorry to hear that you have been dealing with this for so long by yourself. I am worried though that if you are not honest with the therapist then you will not get the help you need and deserve. Please feel fre to talk to us whenever you need to. Also, you might want to take advantage of the chat sessions that we run every two weeks. (The next session is on Thursday 18th 2pm-4pm Central US Time) In the meantime, you might want to try ringing a helpline. (Im guessing your in the US so you might want to try 1800-784-2433)

Please hang in there... Although it seems like there is no end, things can change.

Darren


Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 


starless.eyes
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 10/14/2007 5:58 AM (GMT -7)   
thankyou for your help and for listening to me.
it feels so great to know that i came completely honest with someone.
my next therapy session is on wednessday.
i have been going into the sessions with my mother but for this next one i think i will go by myself.
i'll keep you posted on whats going on.

-starless

CoCogirl
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 10/14/2007 12:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Starless....I too felt like you do at 16. Fortunately, there are many meds that can help along with talk therapy. It is not easy talking to a stranger but everything you say is confidential.  Social Anxiety can cause depression because you feel so alienated from everyone else and so alone with your problem. I kept my sadness to myself until I had my son at age 33 yr old. Then I realized something was wrong when I would look at him and just cry. I worried I would be a bad mother and made an apt with a therapist. I was put on zoloft and after 3 weeks I felt like a new person. I felt "normal" and didn't think that was possible. I also found my Social anxiety(which didn't have a name then!) left! So hang in there I promise you there is help. I too am new to this forum and find it helps to know that others feel as we do. I am in the process of starting a new antidepressant so have been feeling hopeless and decided to reach out on this site. good luck and let me know what happens...  
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