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badgenetics1
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 146
   Posted 11/6/2007 7:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Feeling desparate! 
 
I dont sleep well, no problems falling asleep but restless and wake up to early.  Feel angry and I guess...depressed in the morning and extreamly fatigued!  I don't feel like myself, I feel like I am fakeing it, a fog sets in over my brain soon after I wake up.  Exercise does not help, I was on a strict running routine and can not seem to regain the energy to keep it up.  I feel like a puppet of myself, I have curtailed my social life because I am afraid it will make my symptoms worse.  I was previously diagnosed with panic disorder and insomnia and not depression, initally given Zoloft with HORRIBLE side effects!  Worse than panic!  Have taken Klonopin.I went through periods of not sleeping for days.  This is different, I am in a haze, feel like I am going to die.  I don't want to!  I want to feel good again!  Is this depression?  I am terrified of anti-depressants bc of the Zoloft exp.  Please, any input!  I dont feel sad I just feel desparate and frustrated.  I want to be back to my normal self.  What meds have the least side effects?  Insomnia tirggers panic for me, so I cant deal with that.  Any advice wouldbe helpful, sorry for the rambeling discourse, but this had gone on too long and I want as much info as possible before I go to my Dr. They just prescribe the most popular thing.
 
Thank You!

Allmixedup
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 27
   Posted 11/6/2007 9:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello, sorry that Zoloft didn't workout for you. I have been it taking for about two years and it has worked pretty well for me. As far as your sleeping goes, I can't speak for experiance but from what I have heard is Ambian CR has helped alot of people get good nights sleep with little or no side affects. Meds are screwy. It takes patience to find the right ones that work for you as an individual. I have found that relaxation methods are a good way to rest your body and mind. I hope this helps in some way. Good luck, keep us posted, Allmixedup
Mod-severe depression, anxiety, panic attacks.
Meds currently on, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Klonopin, Zyprexa


Dee75
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 247
   Posted 11/6/2007 11:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Also sorry Zoloft didn't work for you. I have anxiety/depression and panic attacks. I take Zoloft, klonopin and Ambien. I'm doing well and I'm not on high doses. Hope that some day I wont need them, but understand you need to be careful when starting to go off them.
Hope you find whats right for you. Dee

badgenetics1
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 146
   Posted 11/7/2007 1:58 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for your replys. Its 3:30 in the morning and I am up...despite taking 2MG of Klonopin which ia a huge dose for me, no effect. I am so keyed up and frustrated about this, I have a bad family history with this, my mother is agoraphobic and my brother is on many meds for major depression, my father as far as I know is a homeless drunk. I used to be anti- med but now I will try anything, I have spent 3 months in a haze that is not me, including a bout with pneumonia. I am going to make Dr, appt for tommorow and grab him and make him listen, I dont think I am classically depressed, I just feel despair. Lexapro is supposed to have the lowest side effect profile, anyone have experience with this?

Again, thank you!

ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 11/7/2007 5:17 AM (GMT -7)   
Badgenetics

First of all I want to welcome you to the forum,I am very glad that you found us and I am sure you will find the support that you are looking for.

My opinion of antidepressants is this,they have different side effects for different people. They list the side effects,but then you might not experience any of them. But then experience ones that they don't list. At least that is my history with them.

I suggest contacting your doctor asap. Let them know about the insomnia and tell them that you need something else. Trust the doctor as they will know which meds do not cause that.

It sometimes takes many tries to find the right antidepressant. That seems to be the norm anymore. I know it is frustrating because you just want to sleep a whole night and feel better during the day.

Stay strong and keep us posted.

Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Lexapro,Zyban,Buspar,Clonazepam

Have been med free for 2 years now.

www.healingwell.com/donate


nickic
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 11/7/2007 4:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello Badgenetics,

My boyfriend is deeply depressed and was advised to get on Zoloft as well. However, bad side effects for him too. I don't have any prescriptive suggestions for you, but just wanted to send my blessings to you. I struggled with anxiety disorder and depression for about 5 years. Had anxiety attacks, insomnia, panic attacks, self mutilation, the works. Mine was so strong that it eventually led to Irritable Bowel Syndrome which I now suffer from. As many therapists as I saw, people I talked to and exercise as I did, nothing and no one helped me more than myself. I eventually got to the point where I found that while outside life occurrences led to anxiety, my depression came from within...it was a stem from my own self-esteem and guilt I placed on myself. You have to dig deep within yourself and find out who you are, what things you do not like about yourself. Once you come to terms with these things, it is up to you to decide whether changing yourself or the way you live your life might bring peace within. Once you become comfortable with who you are spiritually in this world, it is the most powerful feeling. But first you have to do some serious introspection and get to know yourself. Sounds so simple and redundant maybe, but it's the truth. I am currently helping my boyfriend with this and it is a very difficult process, but knowing that someone is there who cares and who has faith in you helps. And even though i don't know you, I know that all humans are capable of both wonderful and horrible things. If you want to get better, you have to believe that YOU will get yourself there. I believe in you, and I don't even know you. As far as med's go, they all have side effects really. But, if you must go in one direction, I have found that sleeping aids help by at least enabling you to rest. The rest gives a little more hope at working on your depression. Hope I helped :)

badgenetics1
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 146
   Posted 11/8/2007 6:37 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi,

I wanted to thank tou all for your support and very heart felt wishes.  I was at Dr. yesterday after crying all day, even at work...rough day.  Mostly because I dont know what is wrong with me.  My Dr reassured me and made me feel better, I did recently have 2 acute illnesses, Mono and Pneumonia, and that seems to have exacerbated any issues that I was having.  Anyway, feeling much better today.  He said it is OK to continue on the Klonopin for now, even though I have signifigant guilt over taking a benzo, but I guess I need to pick my poison, I hate the idea of addiction and have read some very scary stuff on-line (not good for someone who already has anxiety issues, so I have anxiety about my anxiety and the anxiety meds...HA!) I am limiting my computer time :)

So long story short, he gave a Rx for Doxepin (Sinequan) old TCA, since I cant tolerate SSRI, and it is supposed to make you Sleeeep...I had the pharmacy order a 10mg/ml liquid that can be dosed down to 1mg if need be.  So I hope to possibly phase out Klonopin and just use this for sleep, we will see, I just need to be patient, which is something I am not good at. Also am going to start running, min 5 days a week, 40 min to 1 hour, wish me luck.

My blessings to you all, no one should have to go through what we have been through.

 

 

 


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 11/9/2007 5:52 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi there
Mono and Pneumonia at the same time have to be hell!! I have had both separately and can't imagine how you are feeling.
I am glad that you are following your Doctor's orders,hopefully after you start feeling better then you will find the anxiety is a little better.


Take care and stay strong


Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Lexapro,Zyban,Buspar,Clonazepam

Have been med free for 2 years now.

www.healingwell.com/donate


CBTgirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 149
   Posted 11/9/2007 12:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Have you considered trying CBT? It may eventually help you get off your meds like it did for me. You may want to try and find a therapist or group that uses CBT or you can see if your library has the book Been There, Done That? DO THIS! by Sam Obitz. It is the book that introduced me to TEA forms and really got me excited about CBT. The guy who wrote it had bad anxiety most of his life before he learned how to help himself get better through CBT. I found it very inspiring to hear his story of overcoming his problems with CBT. I hope you feel and sleep better soon :-)

Sad-Faced Girl
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 11/9/2007 8:15 PM (GMT -7)   
I am sorry you feel this way and some of the symptoms I feel as well.  I am very curious to know how to overcome this rut I am in.  Do you feel that your feelings are caused by something traumatic that has happened in your life? I just want to know more about depression and the different causes of this disease.

Another Day
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1055
   Posted 11/9/2007 9:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Badge,
 
I'm like Shy, I've had mono and pneumonia, but not together.  You must be one strong person.  The running sounds like a great plan, but do give yourself time to get well first.
 
We are glad to have you among us and hope that you will keep us posted.  Hopefully, now that you know what is going on, you will start to see some improvement.
 
Take care!
 
Carla

Moderator, Allergies/Asthma
 
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 
 
Epilepsy, asthma, GERD, depression, hypothyroidism, tinnitus


badgenetics1
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 146
   Posted 11/10/2007 7:04 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you all!

Yes, everyone tells me I am a strong person...but what happens when strong people feel extreamly fragile? I think the stronger you are, the greater the force when you shatter.

Anyway, I have been feeing better the last few days, doxepin (only 5 mg!)seems to be helping with the insomnia, I slept very well last night, which is a blessing. Heres hoping it keeps working and I can stop taking this GD klonopin, because that scares me, although I must say at one point in my life, I would have been dead without it, no one knows that...everyone thought I was FINE, I was envisioning my own death...I was having panic attacks when I layed down in bed, and I had no idea what was wrong with me. Until I finally found a Dr. who dx my "not just insomnia" but panic. So long story short, on and off klonopin for 2 years, I have gone as long as 6 months w/o it. I just know that if I don't wake up in the middle of the night I wont get panicky and that wont lead to depression...Its a house of cards.

Again, sorry for the rambeling, but I think acknowledging my issues here is helpful. An aside, I also have a consultation with a neurologist b/c I get really weird headaches, classic migraines but some other issues as well...I am afraid I have some sort of epilepsy (Of course I also am good at dx myself with things :)

Kristen

CBTgirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 149
   Posted 11/16/2007 2:05 PM (GMT -7)   
YW, hope you feel better and sleep perfectly soon :-)

badgenetics1
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 146
   Posted 11/16/2007 4:35 PM (GMT -7)   

Thanks!  I am doing better, its a struggle for sure.  One thing I know is there is no magic pill for me.  I took this Doxepin for a few days and only felt very dopy and lethargic.  So, day by day :)  Running helps, when I can run.  I want to taper off Klonopin and only use when needed, if anyone has any suggestions to help with  this I would love to hear them, I find myself in a viscious cycle with the drug, afraid to be w/o it etc.  I must admit I have been using it quite regularly since I have been sick, It kinda scares me.  Although I know I probably will never truly be without it, I have had panic attacks to the point I thought I was dying and will not go back there.  I don't want to be tied to it.  I have sucessfully tapered off before many times but am finding it particularly hard right now.

Best wishes to all of you!  Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

 


CBTgirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 149
   Posted 11/27/2007 1:36 PM (GMT -7)   
I would try CBT or some other coping therapy before trying to taper off personally.

ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 11/28/2007 5:53 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Badge
I am so glad that you are doing better. I wish there was a magic pill for everyone! It would make life alot easier that is for sure.

Hope you had a great Holiday!

Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Lexapro,Zyban,Buspar,Clonazepam

Have been med free for 2 years now.

www.healingwell.com/donate


CBTgirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 149
   Posted 2/20/2008 10:36 AM (GMT -7)   
How are you doing now? Hopefully you have found some more relief by now :-)

badgenetics1
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 146
   Posted 2/20/2008 11:07 AM (GMT -7)   
doing very well :) Have been on Lexapro and Klonopin and seems to be working!

CBTgirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 149
   Posted 2/20/2008 11:49 AM (GMT -7)   
So happy to hear you are doing well now :) Thx for the quick reply too yeah

ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 3/1/2008 5:41 AM (GMT -7)   
That is awesome!

Hope it continues and your days look better!
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia


badgenetics1
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 146
   Posted 3/1/2008 6:43 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi and thanks you for your replies and concern.

I have been on Lexapro for about 1 month now and it is helping me (fingers crossed!)  I was terrified of SSRI's b/c of my exp with Zoloft but was at the point of desparation (as you can tell from my above post) that  would have swallowed anthing.  The only side effect I have had on the Lex is nausea and perhaps sleeping too much,  which is actually a blessing considering I have not slept noramlly in 2 years.

I just want to send a word out to anyone who is afraid of Meds, as I was, don't suffer.  There is somthing out there that can help you.  I did not want to believe I needed medication, but my only regret is not accepting this sooner.

Best wishes to all of you!

 

 

 


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 3/1/2008 6:26 PM (GMT -7)   
That is news that so many need to hear.. good for you!!


We need success stories on this site that is for sure


Big (((((((((((Badgenectis1)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40590
   Posted 3/1/2008 8:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Badge,

I am so happy that the meds are working for you.
Have a great day!
hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


CBTgirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 149
   Posted 4/3/2008 1:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Thx for the update and I'm glad you are continuing to feel better Badge :)
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