This is a new and raw wound for you. You have made a discovery that the life you have been living is not healthy for you and you must learn to love yourself. You can not control you B/F's feelings or actions but only your reactions to the situation.
May I suggest that you begin to journal. Get honest with how you feel about things; how things "really are" instead of how you "think" they are or would like them to be. Write it all down. Be honest with yourself! Spend a lot of time thinking about what's happening right now, instead of dwelling on the past. There is no future in the past. Being concerned about something that has already happened; something you cannot change, keeps you stuck. To begin again; to really move ahead, you must work on you ! Let go of the past.
I know it is easy for me to write this to you and much harder for you to do, but I hope you can bring yourself to believe in you and build your self esteem. You are a caring and worthy person. Gentle Hugs.
How did your dinner go with your b/f? I hope it went well. Hopefully your new meds will start to make a difference soon. There is nothing worse than the 'in-between' stage where you dont really have anything. You dont have the old med, but the new med isnt strong enough yet. But bear with it, you will get there... I am sure of it.