Hello. This is my first post. Here is a little intro and some background. English is not my native language so I beg your pardon in advance for any langauge mistakes . I will give my best shot at describing my mental condition.
I am 24 years old guy. I am from Karachi, Pakistan. I am not sure if I am suffering from depression or not but symptoms are there for whatever I have read online about depression. I am confused about this. Please tell me if my behaviour is fine for a normal person. I am physically and mentally tired. I feel no energy in my body. I am overweight. I have not completed my university degree because all of this condition and negative thoughts that keep hitting my temples. I feel myself a loser, a burden on the society. I have no friends. The thoughts about my mother's death, i really miss her, keep hitting my temples to an extent that I have to SHOUT loudly. My head feels like "a bomb is being designed and ready to explode and will tear my brain apart". I think a lot about the future of my sisters who are now mental patients. as I believe, all of them.
Please advice me what I should do now. I have no one to share my feelings with. My dad is 70 years old. He does not have a friendly relationship with me. And I am unable to discuss my feelings with him. We as a family have been cut off by our cousins, aunts and uncles. So we are alone. Totally screwd up family!
1. My oldest sister has been a mental patient for 15 years. She had a boyfriend and her relationship was broken up. After that, she had created a lot of problems for us. I need to write a 400 page book for describing what stuff she had done at home. For a quick idea, her mental condition was as twice bad as of that Russell Crowe in a hollywood movie: The beautiful mind. She even got a treatment in the USA but no avail, she is currently being hospiltalized at a local hospital. She had shouted a lot and behaved very wildly after the death of our mother who died in 2005. She has been hospitalized there ever since.
2. My other two sisters (32, 34) ages respectively who do not talk each other. They are locked up in their rooms and they THINk, THINK, THINK, THINK, and shout loudly and curse some alien women in their rooms. They need counseling as well but I dont know how to approach them - I feel scared. I dont know how they would behave agaisnt me. They just wake up on time for eating lunch and dinner otherwise they lie down on their beds. I am the one who cook food sometimes or clean up the house or their rooms otherwise my DAd does.
What about my future career, life, and what about future and career of my siizters? lying down on their beds, thinking, and more thinking is not life! how long will it continue?
Please point me in the right direction. Thanks for reading!
Post Edited (depressiveboy) : 11/18/2007 12:32:45 PM (GMT-7)