Hey My Dad died on Jan 14,1957 and I was 11 years old my Brother Steve was 8 and My Sister Leslie was 5 when he died I have been grief 50 years now and christmas is a very hard time becuase that was my Dad's birthday when he was still living so i have a hard time doing Christmas his birthday. and I aslo make my mom mad just crying all the time about my Dad
You are very fortunate that you had such an understanding step-dad to help you through your grief. Grief is a difficult process to let go. I am still grieving the birth accident that left my oldest daughter with cerebral palsy. She is such a precious person and so important to my life, but the circumstances of her death left me with the whole spectrum of grief: disbelief, denial, depression, anger, acceptance and finally new life. Everyday I travel that same path, it seems. We cannot always be on the upswing of new life, but without the darkness of the depression and anger how would we know when we were experiencing the light of happiness and hope? May I suggest that writing through your tears could be just what you need to do? If you can find the happiness of just one day, it might help you to enjoy the light of this day. What is a favorite memory you have of your stepfather? What is a funny memory you have of your mother? What is a loving memory you have of your father, mother and siblings all together? Can you remember just one time when you were all eating a meal together? Crying isn't always a bad thing to do, Heather. It just cleans us out. I tell my girls to let in some light so they can see the rainbow when they have cried enough. I will keep you in my prayers during this holy season of light.
This is just an update on the grief and depression process I am currently experiencing. My siblings and their spouses and my children have all decided to have a day to Celebrate Family on the last Saturday of the year. it isn't my mother's birthday, but it is a day that we can all get together without worrying my father about us being on the road for New Year's Eve. We are all going to bring parts of the dinner and make it a surprise day for my Dad. Planning this has helped me tremendously to focus on the really important things about life. My family means the world (literally) to me, and we have a great time when we get together. I am excited to say that my Dad is happy that some of my siblings have made "prior arrangements" with him to visit that day. That is very heartwarming for me. I worry about him being alone so it helps to hear him be happy and contented. At first I was just going to buy a frozen lasagna to bring along, but now I am inspired to make the traditional sauerbraten. We'll see as time nears the event if I still ahve the drive. Christmas is almost here and I haven't done a thing to prepare yet. I don't know what I am waiting for....but isn't that what Advent is about (waiting)? A bit of the old sense of humor is beginning to return!
Thank you all for being so much support for me through this. I am so glad to have "met" you.
I think what you are doing for you dad is a great idea and I hope that all goes well with your family get together. Family is a precious thing and is something that should be celebrated.