Depression with a 3 month old daughter

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jsim92480
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Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 11/23/2007 9:38 AM (GMT -7)   
I gave birth to my beautiful daughter in august. I can smile and laugh with her, she's really the only thing that does make me smile or laugh these days, but I'm so tired and stressed out that I just want to disappear. All I do is sleep, I don't really want to eat anymore (which helps with the weight loss but not much else). Than for Thanksgiving my boyfriend had to work and I was home with my daughter and had hot pockets for lunch and dinner because we're too poor right now to buy a turkey with all the fixings. I was also stranded from family and friends so I couldn't go to a dinner. My boyfriend seems to be avoiding my depression so I just feel so isolated. I just started back to work this past friday. Sometimes the only thing that keeps me from doing something really stupid is that I don't want to do to my daughter what my mother did to me. She turned me into her personal psychotherapist from the age of 4, she was severely depressed after her divorce from my father and tried to kill herself when I was 16. So I don't want anyone to know about my depression. I've lived with it for years, probably learned behavior from my mother. I can't afford to take the time or pay the copayments to see a therapist. I just feel so alone.

els
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Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 11/23/2007 10:16 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi jsim92480, I am so glad that you have reached out here.  I hope we can give you some advice, suggestions and lots of support.  So please know that whatever you write here is safe.

Depression can actually be genetic so, if your mom has had it she could of genetically passed it on to you.  It sounds as if you didnt like having to take care of your mom in that way so I would very much doubt that your depression is learned behavior.  Depression is a serious illness that indicates a low serotonin level in the brain.

I can totally understand not having the money for doctors, co-payments and such.  But if your feeling this way then please do seek help.  Perhaps if you call your primary care physician and explain to his nurse what is going on they may prescribe an antidepressant over the phone for you.  There are many that are not that expensive any longer...but you can always see if your doctor can help with samples.  Not only that, but most all drug companies who make antidepressants have started programs for people who cannot afford them, you can get them for very low cost or even free depending on your household income.

Depression is treatable...I know first hand that when your going through it, it doesnt seem like it is but you have to have faith.



Elisha
Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease
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can i die now?
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 11/25/2007 11:45 AM (GMT -7)   
hey i know how you feel. sad when i have my baby i dont want it to have to take care of me like i had to my mom

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40578
   Posted 11/25/2007 11:58 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi jsim92480,

You are not your mother, I had to take care of my mother through out most of my younger years. I found myself going through the same things she did. I was determined not to be like her so much that I never even had children. You are blessed with a beautiful little one. Remember that.

I know you feel alone right now and need to talk. We are here for you so keep us posted.

Think about your beautiful little girl. She is your personal miracle.

Hope that you feel better,
hugs,
getting by
fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, clinically depressed and allergies


MMMNAVY
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Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 11/25/2007 12:23 PM (GMT -7)   
There are some free therapy clinics in some places perhaps they might be able to help.
Forum Moderator 
We will find a way, or make one.-Hannibal (crossing the Alps in the 15th Century on war elephants) 
Make sure your suffering has meaning...


jsim92480
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 11/25/2007 3:45 PM (GMT -7)   
i did talk to my boyfriend about it, we're both very stressed out about money but he's doing what he can. I wonder if part of this is the holiday blues, I despise christmas. I can't even afford to buy my boyfriend or my daughter a present this year. I just wanted to get her a walker and a teddy bear and I don't have the cash. I have to catch up on bills after being on maternity leave and I don't get paid until the middle of December, my bf is doing overtime to try to keep us from going more than a month behind.
  I do love my daughter, I'm blessed with her. Watching her start to smile and laugh when I kiss her bare feet is adorable and fills me with a wonder I haven't had since I was a little child myself. Its as if she has always been there because all the times that she wasn't there aren't as significant as now. Which I think is healthier than dwelling on the past, such as my mother.

ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 11/25/2007 4:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Jsim

I remember those days. When my daughter was born we lived in a little shack basically. In fact I threw blankets over her crib to make sure she was warm throughout the night.

It is very hard when we first start out. It takes alot of work to make it. But,if the love is there,and you both have the dedication to your future then you will make it I promise.

I know that right now it feels like everything is going wrong and that no matter what you do it does not go right,but remember this...at the end of the day when your child is healthy and happy, you know that you love your spouse then what more can you ask for? The other things will come..it takes time,patience,tears and screams but it does happen I promise.


Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Lexapro,Zyban,Buspar,Clonazepam

Have been med free for 2 years now.

www.healingwell.com/donate

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