New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 12/2/2007 7:11 PM (GMT -7)   
I am finding it very difficult to keep reminding myself to stay positive, things will change or be different soon....to just hang in there.
 
I have clawed my way out of a bad childhood, a terrible marriage (that should never of happened).  I have several physical illnesses that disturb my daily life and activities.
 
I have had to fight for every bit of independence and general mental well being.  Yet here I am feeling like I just go through the motions of living life.  I almost feel like an empty shell of a person who doesnt have anything to give back to anyone.  Every time I gain new ground I get knocked back down again.
 
I wonder how to keep having hope and faith that tomorrow is going to be better?  Is there anyone who will love me the way I want to be loved, deserve to be loved?  I am ready to give up, let that warm black blanket cover me up and pull me back down into that dark well of depression.
 
I wonder is this all?  Is this it?

Elisha
Co~Mod: Depression
Moderator: Heart & Cardiovascular Disease
http://www.healingwell.com/donate


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/2/2007 8:00 PM (GMT -7)   

Hey there Dear Lady,

The answer is no, this is not all there is. I know  that loneliness and depression makes us wonder about what causes it and what its purpose is. The more we are led into loneliness and depression, isolation and confusion, the more we search for our life’s purpose.

I do not have the answers to why we have been given so many difficult trials and tribulations in this life but I do know that when we are in a better place than deep in the hole of depression that life is good.

Try to keep going, don't stop, don't quit and never give up. You are a wonderful and caring person.  I know this as I have read many of your posts and I see how members respond to you.  We all need you here and you are special.  So start climbing out of that hole and reach for the light.  That light is the candle we are holding so take our hand and know your safe with us. ((((((((((els))))))))))

All healing is essentially

the release from fear.

Many hugs to you and know that you are cared for and loved here. Wishing you peace, love, and joy.

Kitt

 



 
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression, GERD, Osteoarthritis
*Wife of a Crohnie*
******www.healingwell.com/donate***
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 12/3/2007 5:33 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Elisha

Life is so hard and it does seem that we will never climb out of that dark hole.
But,you are a very very strong woman,and have been through so much and have learned so much from the past.

I have decided that all we can do is take it one day at a time,I wish we could wake up one day and have all of our wishes granted..but as we know not possible.


(((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))

You will get through this!!

Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Lexapro,Zyban,Buspar,Clonazepam

Have been med free for 2 years now.

www.healingwell.com/donate


manyembers
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 424
   Posted 12/4/2007 12:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi els,

It is so hard when it feels like we fight through so much only to be knocked down again. But you have overcome soooo much! You have survived a lot and are a compassionate and sensitive person. You could have become hard or mean, but you chose not to. YOu could have given up but you didn't. Just those things in themeslves are huge and worth celebrating.

I don't have any pat answers, and I sure wouldn't want to waste my time or yours giving pat answers, but one thing I try to do is to find the little things in a day to be thankful for, and I am having to learn to be my own best friend. I thought my husband would understand me like I always wanted, and he has his moments, but he consistently fails to understand me like I feel I need. So I guess I figure I am that person who can love me best like I always wanted to be loved. Maybe it is time to just take a few moments each day and do something kind for yourself to remind you of how far you have come. Life can get intense and it clouds our vision from really seeing all the belssings around us and all the progress we have made.

...but then there are better days and better times, or even just better moments, that remind us that good is stronger than bad - and we will be okay. And those moments - hang on tightly to them. I really believe that even if life is hard, there is always someone somewhere who loves you and cares about you. There are compassionate people all around us, even if we don't always know it. Love never leaves and somehow we are all in this together...and to me, just knowing there is love and compassion in this world - even when I can't seem to connect to it, that also gives me strength to keep going. You're not alone.

take good care of you, manyembers

Post Edited (manyembers) : 12/4/2007 12:29:50 AM (GMT-7)


djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 12/4/2007 9:25 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Elisha,
 
I believe that there is someone out there for everyone... (even me! lol) its just a case of finding them. You are worth far more than the dark blanket. Im not sure how people find faith or inner strength but I know that we all have it deep down. It took me some time to find mine, but I am much happier with it now. Have you tried meditation?
 
Darren
Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/4/2007 9:34 AM (GMT -7)   

Good Morning els,

How are you today?  Thinking of you and saying  a prayer or 2 or 3 or 4. :)

Gentle Hugs

Kitt 


 
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression, GERD, Osteoarthritis
*Wife of a Crohnie*
******www.healingwell.com/donate***
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
 


Another Day
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1055
   Posted 12/4/2007 5:15 PM (GMT -7)   
els,
 
I wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you.  You give so much to so many.  I hope your dark days pass soon.  I also believe there is someone out there for everyone.  I don't know much about you, are you able to work?  I'm kind of guessing not because of health reasons like so many of us, including myself.  Do you get out and go places with friends?
 
I want you to be happy.  I'm not as depressed since I got my driving privileges back.  It took me 15 months to get 90 days seizure free, but I finally made it. I'm at 113 days today.
 
There has to be someone out there for such a kind, caring gracious lady, but they can't find you if you stay home under your blanket.  :-)
 
Hugs!
 
Carla

Moderator, Allergies/Asthma
 
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 
 
Epilepsy, asthma, GERD, depression, hypothyroidism, tinnitus


Cricket1947
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 12/13/2007 10:43 PM (GMT -7)   

Well, here I am, Another Day.........I finally fumbled my way in. tongue    I can so relate to these folks. I can relate to wanting to go ahead and crawl into that 'black hole'. I've been far enough into it, that I attempted suicide. After that, when I get severely depressed, I use everything I can muster up, to back away from the 'hole', because I'm scared to death that if I let myself go in, I won't find my way back out.  And, believe me, black oblivion is NOT a place you want to spend the rest of your physical life, and your cognitive life is in the 'hole' with you.

When I butt up against something that my mind doesn't want to handle, my first instinct is to RUN!  I have no idea where I plan to run to, but I just have to RUN. I guess I feel like I can run fast enough & far enough to get away from whatever it is that I've lost control of.

The last time I had a really bad spell, I took off running. I have no idea how I got where I was when my husband found me, but I was sitting on the ground, crying hysterically, and  knowing that the only way to survive this one, was to look UP. I prayed like I've never prayed before.  I won't tell you that  my depression went away and never returned. That would be an untruth, partially because I am also bi-polar and I have OCD, among many physical health issues.  So, I take 200 mgs of Zoloft every morning, and hope that nothing rattles my box that day. LOL


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 12/14/2007 10:51 AM (GMT -7)   
Els,
just wanted to let you know that we are all thinking about you and hope you are feeling better.
Please let us know how you are.
You are in our thoughts and prayers.
Hugs,
getting by
fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, clinically depressed and allergies


Another Day
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1055
   Posted 12/14/2007 10:50 PM (GMT -7)   
Cricket,
 
Welcome to HealingWell.  I am so glad that with just a little push you decided to join us.  I think you will see that after awhile we become like a big family here.  I knew you would feel comfortable here.  It won't take long until you get to know people.
 
I think you're going through a dark spot right now, probably brought on because of the holidays.  I think you will find that many of us are going through the very same thing.
 
Great Big Hugs!
 
Carla
 
P.S.  Crickett is a friend of mine, please welcome her

Moderator, Allergies/Asthma
 
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 
 
Epilepsy, asthma, GERD, depression, hypothyroidism, tinnitus

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Friday, December 09, 2016 2:57 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,735,216 posts in 301,284 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151388 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, ebinease.
184 Guest(s), 1 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
NiceCupOfTea


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer