It's that most wonderful time of year yet it is always so sad and hard for me

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 12/4/2007 6:51 PM (GMT -7)   
I have not posted in a long time - got a new job(which totally sucks) and I am so incredibly tired when I get home I just want to collapse.  I work very close to where I live so no long commute which I thought would be great.  I have a supervisor who is training me and all she ever does is critisize me.  If I do something right or do a good job she never praises me.  She tells me about the smallest mistakes I make - ones that are so easily correctible but she just can't help but put me down.  I have only been working part time and for just a few months but I feel so demoralized. I am at the point where I am considering quiting because I can't keep on working at a place when my stomach is in knots before I go in.  I can't even eat breakfast except for maybe a piece of toast and a little milk. And I am getting diarrhea  also on the days I work.  Is this kind of stress worth it?  The problem is the pay is really good and I do need the extra money.  I am still looking at other jobs but not much luck and it took me almost a year to find this one. The other problem is I really don't like the holidays.  I always get so depressed.  I have so little family and I always think of others who have big families and wonderful times and celebrations. Do any of you get the holiday blues?  I do volunteer work so I am out in the community helping others but I still feel so bad.  Any words of encouragement would be very much appreciated.  I had to go to the grocery store after work on Mon. and I was going down the aisles with tears streaming down my face.  I'm sure others must have wondered what was wrong or if I was just nutty.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 12/4/2007 7:01 PM (GMT -7)   
Think about how much you have accomplished. It is easier to find another job while you are already working. Take pride in the volunteer work that you do.

You sound like a very nice person and I know this will get easier for you. Don't let your supervisor push you into quitting your job. Don't give her the satisfaction. She sounds like an unhappy person or possibly jealous of you.

You can do it. I know you can. I don't have much family for the holidays and they make me depressed too. But this year I am fortunate to have my bf family. There are grandchildren and one on the way. I feel so fortunate. I wish for you a wonderful holiday season. You are special, remember that.

Hugs,
getting by
fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, clinically depressed and allergies


Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 12/4/2007 7:40 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you "getting by" for your kind words of encouragement.  They really made me feel better.  I am going to try very hard not to let the supervisor force me out of the job.  And it's funny that you mentioned it but I was talking to a friend and describing my treatment and her reaction was that this woman is probably jealous of me.  She is about my age wheras all the other girls are much younger and maybe she feels she has better control over them.  She has commented on my clothing as I do dress very nicely and have a great haircut and present a very respectable appearance so jealousy could be the reason.  If she should fire me I can always collect unemployment insurance.  Also, I do have something fun to do over the holidays.  I am taking my sons and girlfriend out to a favorite restaurant and then to a beautiful choral concert after.  So I do have something to look forward to.  Again thanks for being so nice and understanding.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 12/4/2007 7:50 PM (GMT -7)   
You are so welcome Aurora,

I totally agree, she is jealous of you and is insecure so she tries to make you uncomfortable. Just take it with a grain of salt. Eventually it will come to light.

I am so happy that you will be with your loved ones for the holiday season. That is something nice to look forward to.

I am glad I could help you to feel better. You are a very special person.

Hugs,
getting by
fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, clinically depressed and allergies


djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 12/5/2007 4:28 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Aurora and Welcome back!

Im sorry this is not on better terms though. It is a shame that your supervisor is not being very sympathetic to you... I can understand why shy might critisise you when you are training but not if she is being pedantic(sp) and she shouldbe praising you for a job well done as well... have you tried talking to her or your manager? Is there another supervisor you can train with?

Darren


Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 


Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1249
   Posted 12/5/2007 1:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for your words, Darren.  Unfortunately my supervisor is the top of the heap so there is no one else I can go to.  I came home today feeling so beat up and so demoralized. I think my only solution is to quit but I am going to try to get another job first.  I am so tired when I finish work that I just can't seem to do anything else.  This is no way to live.  I have worked too many years and have had enough bad bosses that I don't need to put up with this.  I am getting too old to fight this and I have to look out for my own health.

Atlas
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 12/5/2007 2:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello Aurora (goddes of the dawn and of new beginnings!!!!!)


Don't let this supervisor push you out of a job that you like (if you like it) and that pays well. She CAN'T be top of the heap unless she owns the company. There's ALWAYS someone higher. But get your ducks in a row before you go over her head or she'll make your life a living hell.

Go right to her and SAY TO HER: It seems like I'm not doing the job to your satisfaction. Am I on target in my training or behind? Are there specific areas you'd like me to focus on? I'd like to do well in this position because I like working here but it frequently seems like I'm not meeting your expectations.

Did you see the trick there? Not ONCE did you accuse her of being nasty and mean. You're ASKING for direct and specific feedback. Mark down the date that you have the conversation with her and the outcome. If she continues to berate you THEN you have "ammunition" to bring to her superiors. I might also suggest that you do a little follow-up note to her (if you choose to ask her about your progress) that recaps your conversation so that it's IN WRITING and in your personnel file. Of course, keep a copy yourself!

If you think it'll come to her firing you - document document document EVERYTHING so that if your unemployment is challenged (and it can be), you have a paper trail or notes to support your case. Trust me, companies do NOT like having to pay unemployment and will do their best to avoid it (and to hell with you in the meantime). You have to watch out for YOU.


Now - holiday blues. Listen, sometimes family makes the holidays even worse - like HELL actually! I'm not suggesting that you have it "better" without family, merely that a family may not make it happier. You make a difference in someones life by volunteering; what could be more "goodwill toward men" than that? YOU are doing what the season is all about.

So you cry...no big deal...I cry at certain christmas songs - - - just because. I don't think that makes you nutty, just emotional.

andrew1948
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 97
   Posted 12/5/2007 2:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Atlas gave you some excellent points to discuss with your supervisor. Sounds if your supervisor suffers from low self esteem and the only way to build themselves up is to put other people down. Try not to take the critisizm personally. Just let it roll off your back like water off a ducks back. You are an important person and you need to believe in yourself and your abilities.

But take Atlas advice and ask the questions in a low tone, not with anger or malice and see what her response is.

Good luck to you.
successful with herbal, vitamins and minerals


behindtheseeyes00987
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 191
   Posted 12/5/2007 6:07 PM (GMT -7)   
i usually get sad around the holidays, too. work gets stressful and money becomes a big issue. I too also get teary just walking through a store but i hide it before anyone really notices it. it may seem like you're getting irritable lately and it sounds like you just need a break. i think you'd feel better if you took some "alone" time and just spent it being alone with your thoughts and treat yourself. go shopping or for a walk(weather depending) or go to a spa for the day. it always helps :)

djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 12/6/2007 5:14 AM (GMT -7)   
Innitially I would try and talk to her about the situation... Atlas has given you some great pointers on how to go about doing this. If you really feel that this is not working, then perhaps it is time to look for something else, but dont leave until you have something else unless you can help it. As you mentioned, it can take a long time to get something and you dont need money worries atm.

Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 


ediekristen
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 1366
   Posted 1/31/2008 7:54 AM (GMT -7)   
Aurora,

I noticed you haven't been around for about a month... I hope everything is okay with you!
Female, 22, Ulcerative colitis (pancolitis) since 1999; GERD; gastritis; osteopenia in hip & lumbar region of spine from long term prednisone use

Current Meds:
10mg Lexapro (for depression/social anxiety)
125mg Azathioprine
4800mg Asacol (Four 400mg tablets, three times a day)
10meq Potassium
 
 

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Friday, December 09, 2016 12:55 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,735,199 posts in 301,283 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151386 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, Kier.
199 Guest(s), 4 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
THE HAPPY TURTLE, 142, pressurehead, Tall Allen


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer