Shocked, Angry,Lost, Lonely,Greiving,Depressed

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Gillcom
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 272
   Posted Yesterday 1:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi, Everyone, I'm new on here, i usually post on the Ostomy forum but i have been reading some threads on here too. I will try and give you a brief history about myself, here goes - I had my second baby boy in feb 05 and it was a difficult birth with a 3rd degree tear. I had been going to my docs every month complaining that i had no control over my bowels eventually in the july he referred me to a colorectal surgeon, anyway he told me my anal sphincter had been snapped during the delivery. So he repaired this and performed a loop ileostomy "temporary" until it healed. W hich it has but i still have the ileostomy which gets me down most days and knocks my confidence greatly. I have not been back to work since having my baby because i developed a hernia on my stoma site too. Then in march this year my husband of 9 yrs "came out" and left me and my 2 boys who are now 5 and 2. I felt shocked, unable to believe the man i go to bed with every night was gay! Now i just feel empty and lonely. I feel as if he has died, but he hasnt he is living a life out there without me, it hurts sooo much. I can really only speak to close family about this as no one else knows, i just dont know where to turn. 

djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted Yesterday 3:52 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi there,

The first thing to bear in mind is that this is not your fault. I can see that you have been through a lot just recently and perhaps you would benifit from seeing a councillor? This is something you can talk to your doctor about as well as the possibility of trying an AD.

Darren


Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
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behindtheseeyes00987
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 191
   Posted Yesterday 3:55 PM (GMT -7)   
im so sorry. i think if you have no where to turn-turn to counseling

ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted Yesterday 5:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Gillcom

I am so sorry that you have had to endure all of this.
I can not imagine what you are going through right now. I would be hurt,shocked and angry too.

I also feel sorry for him,because living a lie all of those years had to be so hard. I wish that society would open their eyes and not care what someone does in the bedroom,that way people can be themselves.

Darren is right,it is not your fault. This is something that your husband has been probably dealing with for many years. I don't know why he chose to come out now,maybe it was just to the point to where he could not take it anymore.

I think that you should seriously think about going to counseling. It is scary, I know but,this is alot for one person to take. And if you are like any other mom,you are going to put yourself last and therefore those feelings are just going to get worse.

We are here to support you. Use this site as much as you need to..scream as you are typing,cry as you are typing and hopefully later down the road laugh with us.


((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Shy
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Lexapro,Zyban,Buspar,Clonazepam

Have been med free for 2 years now.

www.healingwell.com/donate


Gillcom
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 272
   Posted Today 9:02 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you for reading my post and taking the time to reply, it means a lot to me. I had been going to a blood bourne virus councillor but i felt she was more used to dealing with the actual person not the straight spouse, so i have stopped seeing her. Two weeks ago i started seeing another councillor and things are going ok, it is hard going but i have to do it, i go once a week, next week will be the last until after the holidays. You are all so caring and i'm glad to have found Healingwell. Gillian.


Ileostomy - Feb 05, Hernia on site.
Citalipram 40mg.

Post Edited (Gillcom) : 12/8/2007 9:03:16 AM (GMT-7)


djdaz_1985
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 12/9/2007 5:06 AM (GMT -7)   

Im glad that you have a new councillor and that you seem to be making progress. I wish you all the best

Darren


Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
 
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
 
Help support the forums so we can support you:  http://www.healingwell.com/donate
 


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 12/9/2007 5:53 AM (GMT -7)   
You have alot on your plate Gillcom,

Talk to us whenever you need to and we will do our best to be there.
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Lexapro,Zyban,Buspar,Clonazepam

Have been med free for 2 years now.

I will scream with you,Cry with you and hopefully laugh with you.


Shy

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