Explain to me.....

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Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 38
   Posted 12/7/2007 7:25 PM (GMT -6)   
(I can't seem to post in the anxiety section)
I'm currently without friends and a distance b/f due to our break-up....I need to meet new ppl but am terrified.
My new apartment complex is hosting a Christmas bash on the 13th for all the residents.  Logic says, GO meet new people and make friends....Anxiety says, you're a loser and no one would want to talk to you so why put yourself in a position to feel left out.
I just got the invite this morning and I'm stressing over this and it's not until next week.
(who knows, maybe I'll even meet some nice people)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 12/7/2007 8:16 PM (GMT -6)   
Oh my..........the anxiety for days before,the panic attacks that you are going to say something wrong...look weird ect ect.

Listen,you are ok, you can do this I promise.

Take extra time getting ready,don't think about what can happen. Just think that you are finally getting out of the house ad meeting new people.

You are right,you are probably going to find a new friend...someone that you can be yourself with and love to be around!!!
Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,

Have been med free for 2 years now.

I will scream with you,Cry with you and hopefully laugh with you.


Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 35
   Posted 12/8/2007 12:22 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi controlled.

Wow, I remember when I felt like that; sometimes I still do. When I had anxiety problems, I never went out because I thought that no-one would like me and even found it hard to walk 100 meters to the shop up the road. Its a horrible feeling, like your mind is having a big argument...yes Ill go, and no I dont want to. I went to a wedding the other day and was actually able to just walk up to people I didnt know and say hi and make conversation with them. I met some amazing people there and although it was very hard to do, it really paid off.

One of the things that I did to make it easier was taking it step by step. Think about what you're going to wear in advance so there is no panicking on the day (or even better, use it as a reason to hit the shops and treat yourself!). When you are getting ready, try not to think about actually going, just get ready. Put on some great music that you like, have a glass of wine and have fun doing your makeup and your hair. Thats all you need to worry about at that stage. Once you have done that, think about just getting out of your apartment and getting to the party, not necessarily going in. Standing outside a door isnt scary. The big step is getting the courage to go into the room. Take a deep breath and just go. I can guarantee that the thoughts of what might happen are worse than what will. You never know, there might be someone else in your building you doesnt want to go either because they dont know anyone.

Please go and have an absolutely fantastic time. If you make some friends, thats great! If they are not really your sort of people, you still have the HUGE achievement of overcoming a fear, which is great in itself.


Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 12/9/2007 6:53 AM (GMT -6)   


I too can relate too how you feel right now. I used to get terrible anxiety when I was invited to parties etc... and I usually ended up making an excuse as to why I could not go. Thats something I regret now. Please go and meet new people... once you get thereand you start to relax you will be fine.


Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
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Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 38
   Posted 12/11/2007 11:29 AM (GMT -6)   
oh geez....everyone of you described how I feel. I've been trying not to think about it (so I won't stress) and then just go. If I don't like it or feel really uncomfortable, I can leave....no harm no foul.

I can actually see myself getting ready, having the wine, listening to the music....and then not go. I've made all the excuses in the world for not going to places.

Heck, I paid for a class 2 months ago to learn about K-9 Search and Rescue and I talked myself right out of it the night before. I hope I get the strength to go....

either way, I'll let you guys know....thanks for always being here.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 247
   Posted 12/12/2007 12:44 AM (GMT -6)   
Oh! I think you should go too the party. Don't worry about yourself and concentrate are the interesting people you would meet. Let people know you exist. Relax and go for a good time. Have a good time! DE yeah E

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 38
   Posted 12/13/2007 5:08 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm starting to make excuses not to go....
and I even asked the b/f to go with me cause I totally didn't want to go alone....
WOW, I sound like I'm 12, lol

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40391
   Posted 12/13/2007 5:27 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Controlled,
Don't listen to the anxiety, do the music and the wine thing. Get all pretty and you will feel good. And you know what even if you don't go to the party, you will still have fun getting ready and relaxing while doing so.
It is interesting that you wanted to get into K9 rescue. I just love dogs. I have a german shepard and an australian/pit bull mix. They are the best. The shepards brother went to be a police dog. She has a very good bloodline but has a lot of major allergy issues and a systemic yeast infection that I have been battling for so long now. She can't have wheat, corn or dairy products.
If you do go to the party and still don't really have the greatest time, at least you got out. So it is a win, win situation. Give yourself a chance to have a little fun. I can't really talk because I am just like you. I was suppose to go to a party today and didn't. But I have been to these parties before and everybody sits around and gets drunk and it is the same ole, same ole. Don't really need that.
getting by
fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, clinically depressed and allergies

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 272
   Posted 12/13/2007 5:29 PM (GMT -6)   
Please go i know it's scary but once you are there you will feel you ha,ve made a big step, you can do it! it's only a party, nothing horrible, it should be enjoyed, it's christmas and take your b/f if it makes you feel more comfortable. Do you know i love going out but it's few times i do it, and it's when i have nothing going on i'm at my lowest. Go you'll enjoy, Gillian.
Ileostomy - Feb 05, Hernia on site.
Fluoxetine - 20mg March 05 - july 06
Citalipram - 20mg July 06 - upped to 40mg now.

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