Trying to hold it together....

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Wifeofdepression
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Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 144
   Posted 12/21/2007 9:32 PM (GMT -7)   
I am so scared. My daughters ability to control her limbs tonight was not good. She began to cry about the pressure in her head. I called her neuro and he upped her meds so she could sleep. I am beginning to get scared that this is not just a viral infection that is causing this neurological upset but somehting growing in her head. She is only 17.
DH is still doing the outpatient program. He seems a bit better the last few days--guess venting in our family session helped. I am really hopeful that we will turn a corner with DH. Not sure how much more could possibly go wrong. We had a very wonderful life until 2 years ago. In one morning with the announcement of the merger of the company my husband worked for it all started to go away little by little.
 
 

ShynSassy
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Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 12/22/2007 6:40 AM (GMT -7)   
Oh no,I would be just as scared! Is she going back to the doctor soon? She needs more tests,I can't imagine how you feel right now.

Keep us posted and stay strong!
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Lexapro,Zyban,Buspar,Clonazepam

Have been med free for 2 years now.

I will scream with you,Cry with you and hopefully laugh with you.


Wifeofdepression
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 144
   Posted 12/22/2007 6:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Both her pediatrician and the neuro keep emphasizing not to worry--this will pass. I am worrying. Her head and ears hurt. There is nothing wrong with her ears that the ped can find. He checked them again today. (It is a godsend that he was willing to come in to his office on Saturday to check). He thinks that all the motion of her head is causing something to press on a nerve. The blood test results will be in Monday. What a happy news it will be for Christmas Eve if the blood tests show that she had strep in the last few weeks!!! We are to go back to the neuro the day after Christmas at 8 am.
 
DH came to Mom and Dads today. He was ok. Not great but ok.
 

ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 12/23/2007 6:31 AM (GMT -7)   
I will keep your daughter in my thoughts I hope that this will pass and she starts to feel better.

That is a great start that he came over there. At least he is getting out of bed right?
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Lexapro,Zyban,Buspar,Clonazepam

Have been med free for 2 years now.

I will scream with you,Cry with you and hopefully laugh with you.


Wifeofdepression
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 144
   Posted 12/23/2007 7:38 AM (GMT -7)   

For a few days he was out of bed. Yesterday was a good day. Our son has spent the last two nights at home with his dad rather than grandparents. This morning he calls me and asks if I can drive over to the house to take him to church and bring then to grandparents. Daughter had a bad night, for the first time since she has been on meds the twitching woke her up and I had to give her more medication--she is out cold. I do not want to leave her alone (her grandparents are at their church). DH wants to stay in bed. It was so cold in the house last night he could not sleep. Son said that makes no sense, he can get in a warm car to drive him to a warm church or get out of bed and turn up the thermostat. His choice makes no sense. That got DH mad and argumentative. While I was on the phone he started getting upset with our son. I told him that he was digging a big hole for himself, but it does not seem to matter to him. He hung up on me. I called son back. He will walk to church--it is really close to our house--he was just concerned about getting to grandmothers. That is easy the youth pastor, my best friend, plus several other people I listed drive right by my parents house. He forgot about that, when I reminded him he said he would be ok.

When will I ever get my husband back??? Or should I realize that may never happen. I dont know..........Right now it is all about daughter I do not have time to ponder if my DH is suffering depression or jerkism.

 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40587
   Posted 12/23/2007 1:05 PM (GMT -7)   
It sounds like H is suffering from severe depression, that will change in time. You are doing the right thing by sticking close to your daughter. I hope you can find some answers soon.
You are in my thoughts and prayers. I am sure everything will work out for the best. Just be patient and continueing taking good care of your daughter, you will be blessed for that.
hugs,
getting by
fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, clinically depressed and allergies


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 12/25/2007 6:13 AM (GMT -7)   
I keep hoping that you will get a miracle,and hubby will realize what he is doing to your family.

Again,I think you are a very strong woman,and I hope your daughter gets better soon.
She is the most important thing and hubby is just going to have to realize that he is on the back burner for now. Maybe that will be an eye opener...
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Lexapro,Zyban,Buspar,Clonazepam

Have been med free for 2 years now.

I will scream with you,Cry with you and hopefully laugh with you.


Wifeofdepression
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 144
   Posted 12/27/2007 6:01 PM (GMT -7)   
Husband was put on new meds starting Christmas day. He is absolutely miserable. Yesterday he stayed in bed all day. Today he was in bed again. The blessing was that I had gone over to the house and was there when the psych facility called. I answered the phone. They told him to get in there or they were calling crisis management and the police to bring him in to the hospital. He had me drive him to the hospital. I met with the psychiatrist. He thinks that husband has too many SSRI's in his system. Pdoc told him to stop taking Luvox (the drug husband has been on for months) and keep taking zoloft and wellbutrin sr and ambien to sleep. I am not happy about the ambien as husband has abused it in the past. The pdoc thinks it will help in the long run if husband can control usage.
The pdoc told me to be patient. I HAVE BEEN VERY PATIENT!!!!!!!!!!!! I have one expecation that is for husband to commit to treatment--getting to the day program every day. Then when he is released to get his butt out of bed and to work or to do something other than sit in the bedroom. I also expect him to treat me with respect and care.
Daughter had an mri today. The thought is that the loss of motor control is due to stress. Son went to therapist today. Son said once was more than enough.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40587
   Posted 12/27/2007 7:29 PM (GMT -7)   
You sure have a lot on your plate. I hope that this last visit with the psych will help your husband. You need some relief. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Keep your chin up. You are a very strong woman and I am sure that you will soon see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Hugs,
getting by
fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, clinically depressed and allergies


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 12/28/2007 5:10 AM (GMT -7)   
So is she feeling better? Do they know how long before she does feel better?
Poor kids,one day your husband is going to realize what he has done to his family...I hope that the med change works.
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Lexapro,Zyban,Buspar,Clonazepam

Have been med free for 2 years now.

I will scream with you,Cry with you and hopefully laugh with you.


Wifeofdepression
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 144
   Posted 12/29/2007 5:31 PM (GMT -7)   
The doctor said my daughter should feel better in a few months. She has to be on some heavy medication during that time. Husband has had two decent days. The longest time he has been able to keep his act together since he became depressed  is 4 days. I am hopeful that it will be better.
The weirdest thing is he is staying with the kids and me at my moms. Why?? I asked and he said it is easier to change in a new environment. Parents dont want him to stay. Daughter wants to stay at gmoms. I am at a loss.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40587
   Posted 12/29/2007 6:34 PM (GMT -7)   
I wrote a post and then deleted it. I just don't know what to say other than you all are in my thoughts and prayers. I sure hope that things come around for you soon. This has been a lot to deal with. I hope that your daughter gets well soon and that your husbands depression goes away. And I hope that you can continue to be the strong woman that you have been.
Luv and hugs,
getting by
fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, clinically depressed and allergies


TeNNiSd0C09
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 12/29/2007 6:41 PM (GMT -7)   
Wifeofdepression,

I just wanted to let you know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope everything turns around soon. You seem to be very strong and we are always here for you. Keep us posted.

Take Care of Yourself
Dx: Tendonitis(L knee 02'), Chondromalacia Patella(R knee 02'), Fibromyalgia (07'), Plantar Fascitis(L foot Nov.04' erased with surgery July 05')
Not Dx: Depression, Anxiety/Panic Attacks, Social Phobia, Mild OCD

Meds tried: all the OTC stuff, Mobic, and Lyrica.
"Healing is an energy phenomenon. Hope is another word for Healing.
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"If I talk and laugh too loud...its because I am trying to forget that I am sad."
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
"Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."


Wifeofdepression
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 144
   Posted 12/30/2007 6:04 PM (GMT -7)   

Thank you so much for the prayers. Today was an ok day for husband. Since he was having tingling in his head and was unable to attend church I told him he had to go back home. Seeing him in bed was bad for the kids and parents. I took him home before church. I went to church with daughter and then had brunch with parents and my son. Son is a big Patriots football fanatic--he went to bed so late after watching the big game on TV--he missed church. When I called to check in on husband he told me the bed was made and he was showered shampoo'd and shining. I spent the afternoon with him. Tonight our son decided he wanted to spend the night with dad and I am back at my parents enjoying peace and quiet. Daughter is working on her computer--seems twitch free tonight.

I am working on taking each day as it comes, not planning ahead. It is a bit frightening, but I can seem to handle only one day at a time.


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40587
   Posted 12/30/2007 8:49 PM (GMT -7)   
I live with fibromyalgia and that is what I have learned and it takes a lot of the stress and worry away. Live life one day at a time, I have learned to cope one day at a time. I think it is the best way now. I am so happy that your daughter and husband are doing better. That is good for you so that you can relax.
hugs,
getting by
fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, clinically depressed and allergies


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 12/31/2007 5:42 AM (GMT -7)   
That is great news wife..
I hope it continues. I would think he would be much happier being with his family. And since you have put your foot down hopefully it will work.


Stay strong,and I am so glad that your daughter is feeling better.
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Lexapro,Zyban,Buspar,Clonazepam

Have been med free for 2 years now.

I will scream with you,Cry with you and hopefully laugh with you.


Wifeofdepression
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 144
   Posted 1/1/2008 7:23 PM (GMT -7)   
A New Year. Hopefully we will all be blessed with good health and happiness. Today daughter had many tremors. The good thing is that we were able to learn that when we increase her fluid intake the tremors decrease. It has something to do with the blood pressure medication that she takes to minimize the tremors. When her blood pressure gets to low she gets horrible headaches, the stress increases and then she has increased tremors.
Husband is doing well. Not perfect--but I can see improvement. The wellbutrin and zoloft mix seems to be helping. Husband said for the first time he really feels like he can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
We will see. My son's new years resolution is to move back home. Mine too...

ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 1/2/2008 4:53 AM (GMT -7)   
Wife,

At least you know how to handle the tremors now..so there is also light at the end of the tunnel for her. I can't imagine how scary that is for all of you.

I am so glad that he is a little bit better. Hopefully the med change will work. Since it does take 4-6 weeks to take effect,I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you the whole time.


Stay strong and keep us posted.
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Lexapro,Zyban,Buspar,Clonazepam

Have been med free for 2 years now.

I will scream with you,Cry with you and hopefully laugh with you.


Wifeofdepression
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 144
   Posted 1/2/2008 2:15 PM (GMT -7)   
Today was a bad day. Husband did not go to day program. He initial lied, then came clean. I do not know what to say.
Daughter has headache and feels queasy, tremors are there.
I am back at work.
Not sure how I am going to handle all this. Can I crawl back under the covers?

ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 1/2/2008 5:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Ugh
That was the only word that came to mind..well without cussing I mean.
I don't' understand him! You have way more patience than I would have that is for sure.

I hope that hubby does not keep playing these games... do you think he might want attention since all of your time is between work,and the kids?
I wonder about that...it almost seems that because daughter is sick,then he is going to start skipping appts so that you are worried about him too. Even though he does not get that you are worried about him also,but your daughter needs your attention right now.

Take a deep breath!!!
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Lexapro,Zyban,Buspar,Clonazepam

Have been med free for 2 years now.

I will scream with you,Cry with you and hopefully laugh with you.

Post Edited (ShynSassy) : 1/3/2008 5:37:19 AM (GMT-7)


Wifeofdepression
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 144
   Posted 1/4/2008 9:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Two great days for husband!!! He is doing so well. I have my hopes up so high. He was released from the day program today. It is scary to think he will be on his own now.
Daughters tests came back showing nothing wrong. Good news! Neuro thinks the motor issues were brought on due to anxiety and wants her to see a pschiatrist for evaluation for an SSRI prescription. Thank God my psychiatrist--who I love--is willing to take her as a patient. Doctor said I have no issues with my daughter so there is no conflict. Yeah!!
Maybe the black cloud has broken away to let some sun shine in to our lives.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40587
   Posted 1/4/2008 9:55 PM (GMT -7)   

Wife,

I am so happy for you right now!  I know that it will still take some time but it does look like things are on the road to recovery for you. 

Keep us posted as to how things are going.  You will still be in my thoughts and prayers.

hugs,

Karen


fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, clinically depressed and allergies


ShynSassy
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 1/5/2008 5:14 AM (GMT -7)   
That is awesome news!

You need to think about doing something for yourself once things settle down. Maybe a day at the spa?
Shy


Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,
Lexapro,Zyban,Buspar,Clonazepam

Have been med free for 2 years now.

I will scream with you,Cry with you and hopefully laugh with you.


Wifeofdepression
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 144
   Posted 1/21/2008 4:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Hubby is still doing well!!! It is amazing how finding a provider who will listen and knows their psychopharmocology can change ones life for the better. He is still off from work, he goes back one day a week next week. Hopefully he will be able to handle the stress of work.

Daughter is reacting ok to the effexor. We are concerned that she may not be able to get a visa for Spain because of the anxiety disorder. But we will cross that bridge in a few months. The tics are decreasing. She seems happy and content. She and her dad have not gotten along so well in months.

Hopefully the next cycle of depression will be far in the future.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40587
   Posted 1/21/2008 5:08 PM (GMT -7)   

I am so happy for you and your family.  Sounds like things are going a lot better.  I take effexor too, is it helping her a lot?  I sure hope so.

Good luck to you,

hugs,

Karen


fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, clinically depressed and allergies

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