First of all, welcome to HW. I really like your lovely name. Vicious cycle is our middle name here... and I only wish I weighed 237 lbs! I've been working really hard at this and only lost about 45 lbs in the last year and I'm not down to 237 yet... So don't beat yourself up. You are trying and that's the first step.
Also, you should be very proud that your denial stage only lasted three months... mine was 10 years! And I ate and drank along with my pills and pretty much had my head where the sun doesn't shine most of the time. A new doctor entered our practice and got serious with me and PUT MY FANNY ON INSULIN! Now that got my attention!
If you will read back in the posts you will see how we all are helping to pull each other along and trying all kinds of things to stay on track. I'm on the "nothing white but cauliflower" food plan, also known as the caveman diet and doing very well with my sugars. Lots of olive oil and nuts to help me along as well as salads and a sparing amount of fruit.
If you can just take it one choice at a time... one meal, one time to park the car at the end of the lot and walk the distance to the store or work, off the elevator one floor early and climb one flight of stairs, one bag of apples instead of one bag of potato chips, just one thing at a time... We will be here and we will listen and we will help. We have all been where you are and have found that pooling our knowledge and sharing our hints goes a long way to staying on track. You can do this... We can help.
~ Jeannie, Forum Moderator/Diabetes & Fibromyalgia
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa
"People are like stained glass windows: They sparkle and shine when the sun's out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light within."- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross