SS - Are you on any meds? Best thing to do right now is go see a doc (find a way). Get referred to what you can: diabetes education classes, assistance programs, groups or anyone who can help you get the care you obviously need with an A1C of 17. You can't let that level go untreated - it's dangerously high and you're putting your life at risk. Diabetes is progressive - meaning it continues and continues to get worse as it goes along. It can't be halted, but it can be slowed down.
Everyone has to find their own motivation. Many of us find it after the Denial stage, when we reach the Anger stage and decide to do something about it. Unfortunately for some, that anger stage only gets prompted when some kind of diabetes complication rears it's ugly head and it's too late to do anything about it. Many here can attest to that.
It's really up to you. You have to make the decision to want to make the choices necessary to see you get your diabetes managed. You say you know what you should and shouldn't do - time to start making the better choices. I think coming here is a good start and I hope you read back on past posts to learn what's helped a lot of us get started on a better path (read "For Newbies" by TV Editor as a recent example).
Keep us posted on how you're doin'.
- Phishbowl (Type 1 since Jan'05 - Levemir, NovoRapid)
"What's Not Measured Is Not Managed"
"It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows"-Epictetus