There is no such thing as a good diabetic or a bad diabetic. You are a good woman trying to come to terms with a chronic disease that scares the bejezzus out of you. You have lost a tremendous amount of weight, you miss your carbs and life doesn't seem fair. You are like all of us Type2's when we heard the diagnosis... "Who, ME? NO! It can't be! There's got to be a mistake!"
Please understand that it takes time to come to grips with this disorder. I spent 10 years pretending it was ok, taking my meds and not following my food plan... drinking indiscriminately, not exercising and basically being a brat. Got myself some eye changes and circulation as well as neuropathy problems and "HELLO!" realized that this isn't gonna go away. See that number up there? 10 years! Ten years of kidney and vascular and eye damage that now shows up in all my tests.
When I found this forum I was beyond relieved to see that it wasn't just me, it was the way we perceive the disease. Our culture is kind of like a runaway train when it comes to carb consumption. The agricultural business is in business to sell grain products any way they can. Nutrition is taught as an afterthought in schools. TV is telling us that "fresh warm pastry tarts" from the toaster are much better than the "hard breakfast tarts" of their competitor when both of them are layers of carbs filled with jam and coated with icing!!! What ever happened to eggs or a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast? Real food in its' basic form!
Once you resolve to put in your mouth the things that are good for your metabolism and allow yourself to have a little "oops!" on occasion you will be fine. Hubby is bugging you because he is scared he will lose you. Mine did the same. It just means he loves you, not that he is trying to be the Diabetes Police.
Please learn from my mistakes... or if that's not enough for you, read the posts of one of our bravest members, Wheelchair Bound. She has lost her legs to this DA*N Disease and is still struggling. If we all stay in this together and just take it one day at a time we will all do our best and help each other with our choices. You can do it. We will help.
~ Jeannie, Forum Moderator/Diabetes & Fibromyalgia
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa
"People are like stained glass windows: They sparkle and shine when the sun's out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light within."- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross