diabetes and depressed

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allisonrose
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 10/26/2005 7:36 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi everyone I am new to the site. Iam a 37 year old diabetic and
have been for 16 years Iam so frustrated and can't seem to get
my sugar down no matter what I do I feel like nobody in my
family understands why I feel all alone in this! I HATE THIS DISEASE
 
ALLISON ROSE

Claire-Bear
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 242
   Posted 10/26/2005 9:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Allisonrose,
 
I'm so sorry you feel like that.  This is such a frustrating disease and I know just how you feel!  I'm in my mid 20s and have been diabetic (type 1) since I was 12.  I've found recently that my blood sugars have rocketed and I've had to ask myself why?  I've let my diet slip, mostly.  Some days I get really down and frustrated but you just have to hang in there.  I think that sometimes it feels like a process of denial.  I'll be okay if I eat this or that, or have a drop of wine.  But it inevitably does affect me and makes me feel ill.  Do you feel that you have proper control over your illness?  I'm sure you wouldn't feel so bad about it if you did.  Maybe we should make a pledge to eachother to try just that little bit harder!  Please speak to your medical team.  I've changed hospitals as I moved recently, and the team I'm seeing are great.  They've given me such great advice and I feel that I'm now starting to get things a little bit more sorted.  Please also remember, you are NOT alone.  If you feel you need to get things off your chest I'll listen with an understanding ear - I'm in the same boat as you!
 
I have to admit, sometimes I feel alone in this but I talk about it much more freely with my friends now and it's just something that is there!  My b/f is also great as I've explained how it all works, so he is just as informed about it as I am.  Every worried, scared or frustrated feeling I have I share with him.  Maybe your family do not seem to understand as you haven't made your feelings clear to them?  Maybe it's something they are scared of and think you prefer not to talk about it?
 
Sorry this is so long, but I hope you are okay!
 
Claire x

allisonrose
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 10/31/2005 7:46 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Claire-Bear
Thanks for responding to me the other day! I was having such a bad
week. Iam a stay at home mom with 2 boys 11 and 7 and sometimes
I get so overwellmed trying to be the super mom that everyone turns
to, and then I get so stressed and my blood sugars go crazy for no
reason. I went in for blood work 2 weeks ago and my potassium levels
were high so now Iam waiting for results that they tested for
hyperkalemia. I do not want to go back in the hospital, I was there
2 years ago for kidney failure and it was awful!
 I do have a wonderful husband, but I think you hit the nail on the
head when you said about my family getting scared so they dont
seem to understand what I am going thru! My blood sugars this
week have been wonderful, but my doctor has put my on zanax
at bedtime to help with stress! but Iam feeling like I dont really
need it (makes me to sleepy) besides Its just another pill I would
have to add to my daily dose of meds! I appreciate youre kindness
and I hope you are having a great blood sugar day! It makes all
the difference.
 
AllisonRose

Jeannie143
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 6056
   Posted 10/31/2005 3:12 PM (GMT -7)   
AllisonRose,

You said something about supermom... That's an affliction that many of us can identify with and I'm here to tell you that it can kill you nono and make cripples out of your kids. Housework is the one thing that no one appreciates until you don't do it... so don't do it for a bit... Show the guys what all you've been killing yourself doing and then gently show them how to do it.

My kids learned to do their own laundry at age 8. I figure anyone who can play a video game and find their way thru the mazes and learn how to beat the bad guys can learn to sort laundry, measure detergent and choose water temperatures. They were in charge of planning & cooking one meal a week at age 10 and anyone at our home who cooks doesn't do dishes so they were all about learning to cook! Vacuuming stairs, cleaning bathrooms, putting away groceries, and writing out the checks to pay the bills (This really helped with them asking for things that wouldn't fit in our budget because they saw just how much money we had in the checking account.) all became part of their regular chores. I had time to start a new business that paid their way thru parochial schools and college and they learned to be self sufficient adults.

This is my definition of a super parent: Someone who lets them learn what adults have to do everyday by letting them do it! It sure took the stress off of me and they turned out awesome! Do you think this idea might work with your guys? They are more capable than you think and their self esteem will sky rocket when they see that they can be a positive help to the family. This is just my opinion and it may not be something that works for you but it's worth a try.
~ Jeannie

"As one goes through life one learns if you don't paddle your own canoe you don't move."
-Katherine Hepburn


"Madness takes its toll.
Please have exact change."


Claire-Bear
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 242
   Posted 11/1/2005 4:53 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Allisonrose,

I agree with Jeannie too.

But to deal with stress, maybe you should try something other than pills?  I think you sound like you need to take some time out to yourself and maybe try meditation?  I don't mean that you have to go so far as to go into a trance or anything!  But if you can just picture a tranquil scene and concentrate on your breathing, that will help so much.  (I know that sounds quite simplistic but I find it helps me sometimes, and stress really does affect blood sugar levels).

I'm sure it will also help if you talk to your family about this.  The more open you are the less scared they need to be about it.  Show them that you can't be super mum all the time, that sometimes they need to support you.  Share this with them.  We all need help from our loved ones.  It's amazing that people who you think are the strongest are usually the ones that are feeling the most weak and vulnerable...

I've had a bad couple of days with the sugar levels and I'm not feeling too great about it, but I am going to work on it.  It's just an ongoing process - the one thing I'm learning to accept is that with this illness there is no getting to the finish line.  It isn't like taking a course of pills and then finishing them, we have to keep working on this our whole lives.  We HAVE to make changes in our lives in order for this to work out fine, there is no quick fix.  But as long as we make the changes we will be healthy (or happy/less stressed etc).  I'm just rambling now!  But this is about choices, and if you choose to make your life better then you can do it.  Make choices with your partner and children to lessen the stress on you. 

x


allisonrose
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 11/1/2005 6:55 AM (GMT -7)   
hi Jeannie & Claire-Bear
Wow, Iam so glad I have found this website and both of you, I feel
like my feelings are finally being heard. Dont get me wrong my kids
are wonderful with helping me around the house and my husband is
to! Everyone always compliments me on what great kids I have
and I know that is a reflection on me! My problem is that because
I am a stay at home mom all my friends who work just assume that
I am their kids second mom and always call when their kids are sick
for me to watch them or if they need some other kind of favor it is
an EVERYDAY occurence and I have always been the kind of person
who cant say no and it makes my husband so mad! Iam trying
to get better with it because my health is the most important thing
and I know this not only for me but for my family! Iam waiting on
my kidney blood work this morning and Iam so nervous and it shows
in my blood sugar (fasting 340) I think I may try the meditation thing
I just dont know how to get started?
 
I hope you both have a wonderful day and cant wait to hear from you
soon!
 
AllisonRose
 

Claire-Bear
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 242
   Posted 11/1/2005 8:52 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Allisonrose,

I hope it goes well today - I'm thinking of you!

It sounds like your friends have just gotten used to you being around for them and take advantage a bit.  It's awkward to say no sometimes, so maybe it would make it easier for you to speak to your friends and ask them to not bother you on, say Tuesdays and Thursdays?  I know it sounds a bit extreme to ask your friends to do this, but if it's affecting you they need to know.  Or maybe even just explain to them that you are struggling with your health a bit and explain why, and this will probably make them see that you need some space.  Do they realise that you find it a bit too much?  They probably don't realise at all just what you are feeling and so it doesn't occur to them that you may not be happy with it.  I feel like I'm on my soapbox a little here!

I will try to find a website which can give you some starter tips on meditation, but in the meantime I can explain what I do.  I lay down and relax every part of my body.  Then I concentrate on my breathing - I take a breath and breathe out on each number from the count of 0-10, then backwards to 0 again (counting quite slowly and keeping a steady rhythm).  By this time you should be nice and relaxed.  Then I picture myself in a nice quiet room - in my case it is pure white with white light shining in and going into my body and cleansing all the bad feelings from me.  Or, I picture myself in a open green space where there is a pond or lake.  Picture yourself sitting on the edge of the lake and think of all your problems.  Then, walk into the lake and dunk yourself under to get wet and all the water washes away those problems you just thought about.  It's all about what you find relaxing though - if you're afraid of water this might not work!  tongue Set aside 10, 20, 30 minutes a day for yourself.  You may find it useful or you may not like the idea.

I ended up in hospital recently which made me anxious about my health (well, more than normal!) and I really think this helps.  We who naturally are quite stressed and nervous are never going to completely relax but it is good to gain some calm! :-)


Jeannie143
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 6056
   Posted 11/2/2005 6:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Allisonrose,

Claire-Bear is sweet and thinks that she's on a soapbox. She's actually not hard enough on your "working" friends. If you're having issues with your kidneys you don't need to watch their kids... They had them, they can watch them. It's called PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY. Comes with the having of the kid.

Let your answering machine pick up the phone in the morning and when they bug you later about not answering their 'need' just explain that you have been put on 'modified bed rest' for your health and you don't want to talk about it. (Well, a nap or sleeping in is 'modified bed rest'!) That will get them off your back for a while and then flat out tell them that you're under doctor's orders to not take on more than your own family. There are Grandmas and day care out there.

It's not your fault that they wanted careers so they could buy more stuff that they don't have time to enjoy! Sorry... I'm a little opinionated about 'working' moms dumping on those stay at home moms who dont' do anything but watch TV and eat chocolates all day!(I wish!) I was a stay at home mom with a licensed bakery in my home and I finally had to draw the line. People just assume that you aren't busy because you are at home.

Anyway, just let the answering machine say no for you till you learn to say it yourself. (Jeannie walks away grumbling about people who take advantage of others...)
~ Jeannie

"As one goes through life one learns if you don't paddle your own canoe you don't move."
-Katherine Hepburn


"Madness takes its toll.
Please have exact change."


allisonrose
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 11/3/2005 6:58 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey Jeannie,
Iam so glad I have found this forum! you and Claire have really
gotten me thru these last couple of days! my report can back
yesterday and everything is fine with my kidneys, what a relief
the last place I want to be is back in the hospital. And both of
you would be so proud of me, last night someone called for me
to watch their child today who had the stomach flu of all things
and I came out and said no! I could'nt believe it came out of my
mouth but it did! My husband was so proud of me he's leaving
work early today to treat me to lunch! Iam having a great day
today! And Claire I did the meditation today after I dropped my
kids off at school, and it really seemed to change my mindset
for the rest of the day.
 
Thanks guys I hope you both are having as good of day as Iam!
 
Allison Rose. 
.

Claire-Bear
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 242
   Posted 11/3/2005 8:11 AM (GMT -7)   

Allison Rose, I'm so proud of you!  Well done!  yeah It's such great news about your result, too.  You really do deserve a nice lunch today. xx


Jeannie143
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 6056
   Posted 11/3/2005 11:15 PM (GMT -7)   
Taaaaaa Daaaaaaaaaa! Another supermom bites the dust! Let's hear it for a woman who is taking care of herself (and she better because no one else will!!!) You done good, girlfriend. Just keep on saying no to those who want to use you... They are probably the same ones who will look down their noses at you because you don't have a 'career' like they do! Besides, a sick kid belongs with it's mom, and you don't need the germs at your house!
~ Jeannie

"As one goes through life one learns if you don't paddle your own canoe you don't move."
-Katherine Hepburn


"Madness takes its toll.
Please have exact change."

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