Husband type 2 I am worried sick..

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littlered6er
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2016
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 4/7/2016 3:24 PM (GMT -6)   
HI and thank you for taking the time to read/ help.
I do not know what to do.
My husband who is 41 retired navy has type 2 for at the very least 7yrs since we have been married. He has had his numbers all over the place and was put on different meds though out the years. about two years ago he was put on two different shots ( nova-log and flex pen) sorry for the spelling, also on genumet(sp) and a few other pills not for diabetes but related i guess (aspirin, cholesterol, antacid)
well he does not test his blood and has not in months and in no way reducing his carbs and has horrible portion control. I have tried to talk to him about my concerns, but am met with anger and him just shutting down.
my fear is that he is not going to be around much longer and we have two little boys that need their father.
How can i help him and not sound like a nagging maniac?
he also has sleep apnea and refuses to wear his mask.
I am 34 i have lost my parents to cancer and heart disease. My father passed first when i was 18 i had to help my mom take care of him then my mom passed when i was 21 who i also took care of. I am a million % scared i am going to lose him or have to take care of him. I want a healthy (ask can be) happy husband who cares enough about himself to take care of himself. I am not sure if anything will make him understand how important his life is. or please tell me i am being over dramatic?
i am sorry for the all overness of this I am just worried
he also since being on the two shots has gained 20lbs, has back pain, foot pain, shoulder pain just pain all the time. he doesnt switch out the needles very often and gives his shot through his shirt.
thank you again for your help

Lanie G
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 5926
   Posted 4/7/2016 4:26 PM (GMT -6)   
Welcome to HealingWell, littlered6er. I understand your fears and I'm sorry that you are going through this. I can give you some help understanding what he should be eating but it sounds as if he's also dealing with depression and that's something that needs to be addressed. Patients with long-term high blood sugar frequently suffer from depression and should be seen by a proper doctor like a psychiatrist or psychologist. Honestly, I don't know how to help a person who's not ready to be helped.

First of all, where is his doctor in all this? Is he seeing a civilian doctor or one at the VA? Can you speak to the doctor or go with your husband to his appointments? I think he needs to be re-evaluated for diabetes medication. Somehow, his doctor needs to know that his way of injecting is not sanitary or healthy and that's also a worry. Because of the HIPPA regulations (about patient privacy), I don't know if or how you will be able to speak to his doctor.

Your concerns are real and with two little kids and a wife, it's important for him to take care of himself. I don't know the best way for you to convince him to take care of himself, mainly because he's probably not in the best frame of mind.

Maybe one way for you to help change things would be to take charge of the meal preparation and food choices in the house. This would mean cutting back on bread, potatoes, rice, pasta, heavy carbs, etc. Instead of including those prominently in your meals, try featuring more and different vegetables, a decent piece of meat (or any protein) and a very small portion of a carb so no one feels like it's the end of the world.

And incorporating exercise everyday is important. Sustained exercise like walking, biking, swimming, dancing are all good for lowering blood sugar and helps everyone. It won't feel like exercise if everyone is doing it.

With warmer weather, grilling vegetables and chicken is a great idea. Substitute sweet potatoes for white potatoes. Mix diced up cucumbers, bell peppers, tomatoes, avocados, onions and any veggie you can eat raw for a big salad with oil and lemon juice.

For your information, here is a website that has a lot of information about blood sugar:

www.phlaunt.com/diabetes/

If you don't have wills made out yet, tell him you both need to make them immediately. Shake him up.

I wish I could help more. I hope others can add some suggestions. Keep posting. We'll see how we can help you with this.
Lanie

diabetes moderator
diabetes type 2 controlled by diet and exercise and
metformin
very low carb way of eating

eat2bwell
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2014
Total Posts : 534
   Posted 4/9/2016 7:16 AM (GMT -6)   
Maybe if you could get him to watch some health videos on Utube which explain the problems he can have with diabetes it would get the point over to him. As said previously if you prepare the meals you have some control over what he eats. Many people have the same problem. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. All you can do is give him the information and hope he listens.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQjWgOSFChI&list=PL525FEFD1A9F61B1C&nohtml5=False

littlered6er
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2016
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 4/9/2016 11:25 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you for your help. i am sorry it took so long to get back on to reply.
i think the majority of the issue is he has depression and refuses to get help. I have even mentioned we both go together, but he says there is not anytime mostly excuses. I have also mentioned to him about how he handles his shots and that he is going to get a infection or worse, which unless it happens to him he wont change his ways. he has set up life insurance for us and when i mention that i want him to take care of himself better he mentions that if something happens we would be ok. In which i tell him i do not care about money i just want him here for our children and for me and i dont want to picture us getting by life with out him in it.
I try my best to handle meals for him and everyone. i have tried to make meals protien and veggie heavy and very little cabs. myself and they littleones are allergic to dairy/ casien and that is in everything so i do cook alot of fresh meals our grill just died so we have to replace it but soon as the warm hits i am grilling out side. my problem is that i make dinner and have to get kids ready for bed and while i am bathing them he stays downstairs and eats a giant bowl of cereal or has candy bars giant bowl of ice cream. which you could say just dont buy it for him well he buys it. or he will go and get fast food.
thank you i will try to push the issue with him a little more. I know he does not want to be like this
thank you for helping me not feel so alone

Lanie G
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 5926
   Posted 4/9/2016 11:55 AM (GMT -6)   
I really think you're right that the bigger issue is not the diabetes itself but the depression which is preventing him from taking better care of himself. If that could be addressed and worked on, then I think it would a lot easier to get on track with diet and exercise.

Are there any family members who can help 'reach' him? Any support groups that his doctor could recommend or through your church or religious house if you're active in one? Does he have any good friends that he would trust that could help? Ask his doctor's office or the local hospital for any support groups that you can contact. Unfortunately this first step falls on you (along with everything else) until he can finally get his mind back to normal. Right now he's not thinking right. Eating all that cereal, candy bars and ice cream is like a death wish. And I know you already know that. I just am trying to think of ways to get him the help he needs to see reason.

I wish I could help more with concrete advice. Keep posting here. The very least we can do is listen.
Lanie

diabetes moderator
diabetes type 2 controlled by diet and exercise and
metformin
very low carb way of eating

littlered6er
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2016
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 4/10/2016 5:19 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you. He just has us really. His first wife (passed from cancer) from what I was told was amazing getting his numbers in order exercising and doing the right things, but she passed and I know that was very hard on him and something I should have thought about more when we got together. His family lives in California (we are in Washington) which he talks to but not very emotional with them. As for friends he doesn't have any that he talks to regular if he does go out with people I think he tries to fit in and not become a bother (special diet type) my gut is telling me to put my foot down and deal with his anger and hope it will open his eyes. I also do not want him to sound like a angry hot headed man, he is one of the nicest generous man I know he would give the shirt off his back he is also very sensitive kind and caring. It is just the depression and diet have turned him into someone I do not like.
Again thank you he is to my words being strong and life changing

Lanie G
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 5926
   Posted 4/10/2016 7:32 PM (GMT -6)   
I think the depression is masking his real character. The best way to get started is to have him under a doctor's care for that, probably on medication for depression (or whatever he is diagnosed with). Maybe then he can understand that he must take care of his health. Again, I don't know what resources you have available to you but if I were you, I would start with his doctor or even ask your own doctor for advice on how to handle it. If nothing changes, I'm afraid the diabetes will get worse.
Lanie

diabetes moderator
diabetes type 2 controlled by diet and exercise and
metformin
very low carb way of eating
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