Docked and now deboarding the River of Denial. I have been there I guess for about
a year. I just got my reality check. I have tried keeping my sugars down with diet and was or I am supposed to be using insulin, but when I have to pay $144 for my sons ADHD meds I have nothing left for mine, and I worry about
him more than myself. I work in a doughnut shop, but I don't eat the doughnuts, though I do love the cappucino
. I have lost weight the past 2 months (quite unexpectedly) and I have gone from a size 28 to a size 20, and my tops have gone from a size 24 to 14. I was under the impression that was a good thing until my sister whom I hadn't seen until last week saw me. She too is a diabetic as is our dad. We arrived at the ER at the same time because Dad nearly died, She called my name and I turned around and waited for her to get to me, she looked shocked and said she didn't know it was me at first. She asked me if I was keeping a check on my sugars and taking my meds because she has this amazing doctor who has helped her so much, she went from a 400 down to 115 BG. When we got in and sat down she checked my sugar level, I was fasting and it was 398. Needless to say she was not happy with me, I was a little shocked.
I started my job at the doughnut shop 3 weeks ago and I work the weekends, and what woke me up was that test and the fact I now have this horrific shooting and stabbing pain in my legs. Numbness too. So I called the doctor to see if I could get a same day visit Friday and he called me back and said we needed to have a full office visit and told me to come in tomorrow. To be honest, I know I will be getting the 'Come to Jesus' talk and I am terrified. I hate diabetes, I just want to be the normal person who can eat a burger, fries and a hot fudge sundea and not get retchedly ill. I am angry because I have lost so much to it so far. I was put in surgical menopause at the age of 21 because of PCOS and no one had a clue it was a pre-diabetic condition. Sigh, I guess it is time to get control back. Thanks for letting me vent.
Diagnosed Diabetes II 2001, seizures 2001, scleroderma 2005, possible lupus 2005
Meds: Plaquenil, insulin.
In the immortal words of Socrates: "I drank what???!!!"