Phishbowl was spot on, but there is also the nagging worry of getting complications. I was diagnosed 15 years ago, and the first things the nurses told me then were the jobs I wouldn't be able to do and that I'd get a special medal if I managed to live for 50 years!! (Thankfully things are different now) Plus, well meaning people (when finding out I have diabetes) kindly saying 'oh, my aunt is diabetic - she had to have her feet ampuated' or the such like! You are always aware that you are diabetic and what complications you can get. And, as you're probably aware, being epileptic, you constantly have the worry that maybe you will pass out (either epileptic seizure, or diabetic hypo) and no-one will be able to help you.
I don't mean to be rude, but it does sound like you are comparing your illness to his and by the simple fact that you say you would love to have diabetes compared to epilepsy kind of shows that. Try to look from his point of view when he gets upset or angry (this could be from either hypo symptoms or simply that he IS upset or angry) and realise that although diabetes might seem like a breeze compared to what you have, he only knows what it's like being diabetic and that's all he has to go on. This IS a serious illness and it IS life changing. I remember Jeannie putting a really good post somewhere about the stages you go through with illness such as grief and denial - I really recommend that you look through previous posts and have a look. Some people deal with it better than others, but just because it looks like someone is doing fine it doesn't mean that they are. It just sounds like maybe you are dealing with your illness better than he is with his! Hope it all works out, and I hope it doesn't seem like I'm being harsh to you.
Ooh, nasty about the broken ribs. Ouch.
Well, all I can say is that quite a few men don't speak about the issues that worry them until they have sorted those issues out in their own heads (though I shouldn't make generalisations, it's just men and women often deal with things differently). It's probably best not to push too much, but to me it sounds like he's a whole lot more upset about the whole diabetes thing than he's letting on, just by the fact that he gets really annoyed over it. Maybe you can suggest he looks on forums like this for himself? I know that, before I used the forum, I was starting to get really down and upset about the whole diabetes thing. When I started using this forum I found it a whole lot more useful and supportive than I realised (my b/f suggested it would be a good idea and at first I didn't think it would be!!)
I don't know what the % chance of him getting complications would be, but I do know the less control you have the more likely you are to get them. But even with good control he does have a chance of getting complications.
Everyone here offers lots of support and advice so anytime you need it (or even your husband decides to take a look) we're here!
Post Edited (jaimes) : 8/18/2006 11:09:37 AM (GMT-6)
^ good reply! cheers!!!
i do get "warnings" sorta. i have partial seizures i use as an aura....lets me know i'm about to lose it some-time within the next 24 hours!
it happent this weekend. poor hubby.....seriously! i had 9 partials through friday night-neither of us got any sleep, and a tonic seizure saturday night. he keeps telling me it's okay- i keep appologising! i'm positive lack of sleep like that can't be good for him. i nkow what it does to me, and he's the one who's gotta sit and watch me seize and make sure i don't quit breathing for too long.
i know exactly what to do for him--i was mid doing it when he came to confused and reacted- hense the ribs. he doesn't owe me anything. i'm just glad he came out of it. lord knows i've taken afew swings at him when i've been altered after a seizure!!! i can care for him medically, i know the logisitics, it's the wife part...well in combination with the diabetes- plus my epilepsy...lmao and don't laugh, but we have a doggie who in all likelyhood seems to have colitis! lolool so it's more being able to combine caregiver, when i need o be, and balancing my own issues.
i don't think he has anything to worry about- dependance wise,....but i don't have that male brain! he's fully functional, he doesn't miss work, he does what he enjoys, goes where he pleases how he pleases, if anything i'm the dependant one....and unfortunately for me, i'm also the free spirit of the two! lololol ahhh such is life! or control freakness...i *know* that feeling. aside from having an eating disorder for almost 15 years, i also have an issue with the seizures in public, being alone or with too many people bla bla bla! public transport is most days, not possible, but at the same token- hubby isn't one to volunteer a lift or smile about a hand. i walk and bike wherever i go. perfect soap opera scinario eh?! lol meh sounds worse than it is, i'm just trying to say i understand stigma!
not his exactly, but i get it more than anyone should.
the humour...naw, i *AM* humour! gotta keep lookin for the silver lining and lookin back and laughin, otherwise what's the point!
I really love your positive outlook on things, it's really refreshing.
I just have to add - maybe your husband doesn't feel comfortable talking about it to you because he feels that he doesn't want to burden you? Just a thought... It sounds like you are both trying to look out for eachother and trying to not worry the other with your concerns for yourselves...
I also think that a lot of diabetics (as well as others with long-running illnesses) go through a period of denial. They do not want to think about it, and almost push it away from themselves. That means they don't have to think about it - don't have to accept it. (I know I went through this too!)