I'm a wedding cake designer and I produce a huge bridal show every year so I totally know where you are right now! I read your other posts in the byetta thread and after reading this as well.. I guess I want to tell you some stuff that might help you but I don't want to stomp all over your feelings. Diabetes is an evil disease.
It doesn't feel like anything much is happening while it's doing it's wicked work. It isn't until you all of a sudden can't see as far or need a huge change in your glasses script
that you realize it's trying to steal your eyesight. Cold feet and hands... no big deal... Stabbing or throbbing pain in your foot that feels like you dropped a huge book on it!!! Now it's neuropathy from the death of the tiny nerves in your feet. They give off horrible signals as they are dying and you know something is happening then, but it's too late to fix it!
Kidney disease, loss of limbs from foot sores that won't heal... This is awful stuff to deal with and you NEVER HAVE TO PUT UP WITH ANY OF IT! Just learn from somebody who didn't listen to her doctor the first time around. If I could have just one new young diabetic learn to follow their food plan and take their meds on time because they read what I and many other diabetics have been thru it will make it worthwhile. Girlfriend, you have to get fighting mad at this disease because it won't go away and it's always going to be in the background of your life. You have to kick @$$ and take names later because if you don't meet it head on it will just keep coming at you. You have to become educated about
the glycemic index and which foods affect your blood sugar the worst. You might need to keep a "food/exercise/medication/blood sugar readings" diary to keep track of what is working and what is holding you back. And you need to take very good care of you ... because if you don't no one else will. If I could go back to where you are (I'm 54) and start again there are so many things I would have done right the first time because it would have made my life so much easier.
Please Flute, do whatever it takes to help keep your sugars in line. And if you do over do and have a cheat be really brave and take a blood sugar reading about
two hours afterward. Look at the number and face it. That number will stay with you and will become part of your decision process the next time you want to cheat. I used to stop testing my sugars when I was off my food plan... Well duh! One of our members on the forum says, "What isn't measured isn't managed." and that is so true. I hope you can become another one of our members who is successful and integrates the coping skills of handling diabetes into your everyday life so that it becomes second nature. You can do this. We can help each other every step of the way. Hang in there girlfriend.
~ Jeannie "People are like stained glass windows: They sparkle and shine when the sun's out, but when the darkness sets in
, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light within."- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross