Hi Wolfer and welcome here!
I really couldn't have put that any better than Jeannie (would find she's a very wise woman) so just keep coming back 'cos we're here through bad times but also good.
I share most of it with my wife. She comes to all my doctor visits , and fully understands most of my illnesses. But its the deep feels of guilt I don't share ,, and the feeling that I think I am a quiter. If I only would have tried harder ,, I might not have been put on disabilty. I had a good Job ,,I was making good money now ,,, all I get is an SSI check ,, and lots of Doctor bills,,,And I have reached the point ,,I am not going to try anymore ,,just put up with what I have and hope it ends soon,,thats where I am at now,, all my hobbies are gone most I can'y do and some I can't afford anymore,, I was the man of the house now ,, well ,,, more like a turnup,,, or mushroom I spend as much time as i can alone in my basement watching TV show I have seen a million times ,,, Thats why I thought maybe if I tried talking to people who are going through what I am I can make A little sence of it all...