Bless your heart, Joan. You have taken on a huge burden and it's not fair - You don't have the dumb disease. I would recommend that you let him learn his diet and give you a list of foods to purchase. It's really his responsibility to run his food plan, not yours. You can help and assist him but it's time for him to take control of this. My aunt died suddenly and her diabetic husband was as helpless as a newborn kitten. She really did him a disservice by doing everything for him.
My suggestion is that you and he go to the bookstore or library and get some diabetic cookbooks and get some ideas there. A pocket handbook of calorie counts on foods will help, also. He should be central to the planning with you just executing the plans. Tell Mr. Fussy to start trying new things. The farmers market or produce market is a great place to start. Buy new veggies, take them home and have him chop them up and make a stir fry in peanut oil.(Sliced boneless chicken breast fries up in a few minutes then add veggies.) Finish it off with a splash of vinegar and a generous amount of garlic and some soy sauce. Skip the rice and just eat tons of veggies. Use the carbs you saved by not eating rice to have a really special, small, real (not diabetic) dessert. The veggies and fats will slow the carb release of the sugars in the dessert.
Plan to have soup once a week all winter. Use thin sliced cabbage in place of noodles. Lots of veggies, mushrooms, water chestnuts, anything you have on hand in a stock made from meat boiled gently in water. I've even made a great soup from ground beef. Barley and brown rice are super diabetic carbs because of their fiber content so throw some of them in. Let himself do the chopping and you do the mixing and spicing.
Giving him a place in the prep of his own meals will give him some control over what his choices are. He may not be totally happy with the new arrangement but it's not your job to make him happy. It's time for him to take on his own diabetic management. Not to be scary here, but if you died tomorrow how would he plan his meals?
Basic meal planning is
breakfast: protein + fat (butter, peanut butter or healthy margerine) + fruit + complex starch (oatmeal, cream of wheat) + milk (lactose carb)
lunch: protein + healthy fat (olives, peanuts, avacado, olive oil) + veggie + veggie + starch (if necessary and he is at optimum weight) + fruit for dessert
dinner: same as lunch
snack: 2 cups popcorn with 15 peanuts or 1/2 cup ice cream or peanut butter on an apple
Send him to this forum and we can help him. The men here have a super attitude and a great grasp of nutrition. Soon he will be exploring new stuff with enthusiasm. That's how I found out that I love raw mustard greens in place of lettuce in a salad! Sharp bite of peppery flavor in an inexpensive veggie that is loaded with vitamins and fiber. Who knew?!?! He can come here and learn to share ideas with all of us pseudo-chefs and find his way to better nutrition. Hope this helps.
"People are like stained glass windows: They sparkle and shine when the sun's out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light within."
- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross