The bitterness runs deep when everything which seemed normal before is turned upside down, which is what happened when I lost my job due to my epilepsy. I think the thing that ran through my mind at first was- how could this happen to me? It's hard for me to remember if I was more shocked or angry about it. Mostly, it saddened me that in the blink of an eye, people I thought were my friends/colleagues were treating me differently when they found out about my epilepsy.
The meds I was put on made me feel like I was drunk and loopy- I just couldn't think straight or even make simple decisions. I can really identify with how you are feeling. I have had 10 medication changes in the last 3 years and am sick of it. The headaches, incoordination, muscle weakness, memory loss,... shall I go on? ...YOU have every right to want information- Something that can give you an idea of where you are going. Your doctor has to be someone you trust and you know is working for you. If it isn't working that way, then it's time to look for a new doctor.
Like others, I discovered this site searching to be part of a community who was familiar about epilepsy. And, like you, I too wanted to know if there were people like me. And, yes, there are A LOT.
Steve- You aren't kidding when you used the term "epileptic rollercoaster" to describe how things have been for you the last year. I think rollercoaster is the perfect term to use to describe many of us that are going through similar turmoil.
Angeleyes, there are always days when I say to myself, "why me?". But then, I also remember that life looks a whole lot different now than it did before, and I have learned to appreciate things I didn't before. I hug my kids a little harder, tell my husband I love him more, take more long walks. And after reading others' stories, I now know that I am one of MANY.
Hang in there, Angeleyes, you are not alone. Don't EVER give up. (((HUGS)))
complex partial seizures since 22
lamictal 200mg 2x/d
zonegran 150mg 3/d