Just an update :( ...................

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Daisy9980
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Date Joined Sep 2004
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   Posted 7/28/2005 9:05 AM (GMT -7)   
Just an update. 
My grandmother passed away this morning.  I am so upset.  I know some of you have been updated and following my posts.  Thanks for all the hugs so far.  I am depressed sad and angry.  I guess all the normal feelings.  I am home from work until tuesday.  The funeral is sunday.  I am glad it happened so fast for her, she did not have to suffer for long.  I am sad she left us so soon, all she wanted was to be at me wedding.  (I am not even engaged so I feel bad about it).  Cancer is a dirty ugly thing.  I just wanted to update my friends.  Thanks for your support.  Tracy
 


kayakmom
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Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 7/28/2005 12:09 PM (GMT -7)   
(((tracy))) Take care of yourself! Grief can have such a toll on your physically as well as emotionally. I am glad your grandma did not suffer too long, but know you greatly miss her. Hoping the funeral is a special day to say good bye. It is good you have some time off work to help deal with it all...

HUGS,
Ginny

mom46
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Date Joined Dec 2004
Total Posts : 8198
   Posted 7/28/2005 1:37 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Tracy,

   I'm from the lupus and MS forums. I saw this post and just had to respond. I hope you don't mind. I'm so sorry you lost your grandma. (((((Hugs))))  My mom passed away almost 2 years ago with colon cancer. Of course I was devistated, but my daughter was 20 at the time and it really effected her. She was away at college and didn't get to spend much time with her in the end. They were very close!!

   My mom was dx with cancer in june of 2003 and passed away in sept of 2003. When she was dx, she and my father moved in with me and my husband and we took care of her for the last 3 months of her life. We had alot of time to talk and share in the memories of the past, but my daughter didn't have that time with her. She was able to see her a day or two here and there, but she was very upset that she couldn't spend more time with her and like you, she wanted her to be at her wedding also, but she wasn't even involved with anyone and still isn't.

   I just want to let you know that my daughter and I talk about my mom alot. We talk about the good times we all had together, places we went, talks we all had, the funny things that my mom had done. She was a very funny lady!!

  I know this is very hard for you and you are greiving now, but try to think about the good times and cherish the memories you have of your grandmother. I know she will always be in your heart and you will think of her often, especially when you are doing or saying something that reminds you of her. Remember she is in heaven and not sick anymore. I'm sure she is watching over you.

  My daughter says she talks to her alot at night when she goes to bed. I do that as well. Even though she isn't talking back to us, this is our way of letting her know we love her and she is still with us.

  Here's a big *hug* from me!! Take your time and let yourself greive, then keep her in your heart always. Take care and God Bless You!!!  You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

                                                 Love,  Babs

  


Diagnosis: Lupus and Restless leg syndrome 1990, RA and  Fibro 1994, Sjoren's and Raynaud's 1995, Diverticulitis 1998, Seizures April, 2005
 

JOB 5:18 For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal.
 
Please help Healingwell succeed in helping others. Any donations will be greatly appreciated.
 


FamilyGuy
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Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 3310
   Posted 7/28/2005 1:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Tracy,

I'm from the Crohn's forum but ran across your post. Be comforted in the fact she didn't suffer and is now in God's hands. ((((Hugs))))

Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family,
Jon
 
"The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides. Accept life, and you must accept regret."
-- Henri-Frédéric Amiel (1821-81), Swiss philosopher, poet
 
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Daisy9980
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Date Joined Sep 2004
Total Posts : 775
   Posted 7/28/2005 1:53 PM (GMT -7)   
My god thank you guys so much. Many tears in my eyes, but the comfort and support from you all means the world.

Babs, your post hits home. My grandmother has been in Fla the past ten 14 years. 10 years ago my grandfather died. As you can see, I am on the epilepsy forum. I had my first grand mal after a plane trip. I didn't go to fla to see her. I feel bad about it, but my parents told me I was better off not seeing her in the condition she was in. I feel very deep sad pain. Things I wish I could have done and said. I can't and that is just that. But I had been talking to her at night, even though she was alive and couldn't talk on the phone. Thank you so much for your post. Your daughter sounds like she experienced what I am going threw.

Jen thanks for your post! I will probably be taking you up on that email.

Jon, thank you for posting. It is so nice to know that there are so many good people in this world that will stop by, say hello and lift you up without even knowing you.

She had been out of it the past week from all of the morphine. She was only in the hospice hosptial for about 4 days. I know she is with my grandfather now and watching over us.
THanks again!
 


Chutz
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 7/28/2005 2:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Tracy!

I'm a mod on the fibromyalgia forum and found your post while cruzing. I'm so sorry you lost your grandma! (((((Tracy))))) I know how you must fee. My dad died from cancer 3 years ago and I miss him terribly.

When it first happened I was just out of it. So lost, sad, and frustrated that he wasn't here any more. After a few weeks I was able to start think about the good...not the fact that he was gone. Ya, I went through a time of mourning...it's natural and right. But after a while I started thinking about my dad and what he would think of me spending hours on end crying because he wasn't here. He would be happier in Heaven if I put my energy to better use.

It took a while but I started to think of the possitive, not the negative. Dad wouldn't want me dwelling on the fact that he was gone. It was hard but I turned my thinking around. I was able to talk about the fun times and how proud dad was of his kids and grandkids. How he was such a great fisherman. And how much he loved my mother. It helped my mom get on with her live more easily since I was trying to be positive.

Tracy, I truly understand loss. I lost my 23 year-old son a few years ago. I thought I just couldn't go on. It took quite a while, but I was finally able to push on thanks to a wonderful doctor and family. Take your time getting used to life how it is now. For now, just focus on the funeral, then take what comes next. One day at a time. Things will get better. If you are still having trouble after a few months then don't hesitate talking to your doctor about it. I should have done that sooner than I did.

Anyway, I've rambled on long enough. Take good care of yourself! You have a lot of friends here who care deeply about you!

Hugs,
Chutz
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

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Daisy9980
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Date Joined Sep 2004
Total Posts : 775
   Posted 7/28/2005 3:14 PM (GMT -7)   
Chutz
Thank you for you deep heartfelt post. I am very sad right now and I wish to write more, but just can't. Not right now anyway. I want to say thank you for sharing with me. I know this all helps me. This forum has been a life saver and I thank you for taking the time out to write to me. I appreciate it so much. Tracy
 


Teri16
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Date Joined Dec 2003
Total Posts : 5230
   Posted 7/28/2005 4:43 PM (GMT -7)   

Tracy,

I am from the cardiovascular and allergy forum and I just saw your post.

I am truly sorry for the loss of your Grandmother, Tracy.  It is very hard to lose anyone that we are close to.  I just lost both of my parents this past year, so I know that feeling of loss and sadness.  Just remember though, you will always carry a part of her, her memory, with you for the rest of your life.  And with that memory she will live on.

Hugs, Teri


"Because he is he and I am I."......E. V. Lucas

"I Hope You Dance".............LeeAnn Womack
 
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Foreign
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Date Joined Jul 2004
Total Posts : 674
   Posted 7/28/2005 5:02 PM (GMT -7)   
So Sorry for you loss
(((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))
Mel-Fibro Forum Mod

goodwitch46
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 241
   Posted 7/28/2005 6:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Tracy!
I'm so sorry about your Grandma. She sounds like someone really special in your life. She would be so proud of everything you've accomplished and WILL accomplish.
Hope you have some time you can be with your family. Extra Hugs to You!
((((((((((((((Tracy))))))))))))))

Glenda
complex partial seizures since 22
lamictal 200mg 2x/d
zonegran 150mg 3/d


Daisy9980
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2004
Total Posts : 775
   Posted 7/28/2005 7:46 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you all so much for the outpour of caring. My family is starting to come up tomorrow. My job sent us the nicest flower basket. They are really good to me at work. I am so happy to come here and read these posts. It means alot. I know she isn't in pain now. I just want to say so many things that I can't. I am still in shock. Sunday is going to be a real hard day for me (day of the funeral). I will keep checking in. Maybe go into chat tomorrow. (((Healingwell))) Tracy
 


mom46
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Date Joined Dec 2004
Total Posts : 8198
   Posted 7/29/2005 8:22 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Tracy,

   It's good to hear from you. I'm glad your family will be coming in soon to be there with you. You all need each other right now. Sunday will be a hard day for you. The funeral is the hard part to get through. That was when I really broke down and let the tears roll, but it seemed to help me to get it out.

  I'm glad your job is so good to you and understanding. It was nice of them to send a nice flower basket. Sending you "Big warm hugs"!!  I will be thinking about you on Sunday and you will be in my prayers. God Bless You!!!

                                              Love,  Babs


Diagnosis: Lupus and Restless leg syndrome 1990, RA and  Fibro 1994, Sjoren's and Raynaud's 1995, Diverticulitis 1998, Seizures April, 2005
 

JOB 5:18 For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal.
 
Please help Healingwell succeed in helping others. Any donations will be greatly appreciated.
 


Jeannie143
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Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 6056
   Posted 7/29/2005 10:10 AM (GMT -7)   
sad Tracy,
I don't know you but noticed your post... I'm so sorry for yours and your family's loss. Death is such a smack in the head. Seems as though we all go through our lives blithely (is that a word?) pretending that this will never end and then, "Poof!", we lose someone we love and there are no words for it.

Babs is right about the crying... let the tears roll. And in the days, weeks and months ahead let them come again when you need to. Don't know if this will help you or not because it's scientific, not emotional... but research has shown that the 'sad' enzyme that we have in our brain chemistry takes a long time to break down through natural detoxification by the liver. The good thing is that our bodies can excrete this 'sad' enzyme very quickly through tears. Researchers have actually measured the levels in human tears and applied it to their work.

Sooooooo... now that you know why you will feel better after a good cry so go ahead and let it go. You will be able to cope better and more quickly and be of more help to your family, also. Your grandma was very lucky to have such a wonderful and caring granddaughter like you. She is still with you, you just can't see her right now. Wish I could take away your hurt...

Jeannie143

Daisy9980
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Date Joined Sep 2004
Total Posts : 775
   Posted 7/30/2005 9:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you all for sharing your stories, and writing to a stranger just to comfort them. There are alot of very nice people here on healing well and it is such a nice thing..
The funeral is tomorrow. I am very scared about the funeral. Nervous I will faint or have a seizure. Just talking aloud to my friends makes me lightheaded. Well I have been talking to grandma outloud the past few days. I hope she hears me. Thanks for all o fyour support, Tracy
 


Daisy9980
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Date Joined Sep 2004
Total Posts : 775
   Posted 7/30/2005 12:58 PM (GMT -7)   
HI Jen
I am very nervous about tomorrow. I really don't want to have a seizure or faint or anything. With the heat and humidity, emotions and crying it is a risky day for me. I hope I will get threw it okay. I will keep yall updated. Keep posting to me everyone, it makes me feel so much better. This HW is the true meaning of "support" group,
Tracy
 


mom46
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Date Joined Dec 2004
Total Posts : 8198
   Posted 7/30/2005 8:31 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Tracy,

    I know tomorrow will be hard for you, but you will have your family there with you. I pray that you don't have a seizure tomorrow. Stay near a family member or friend that you are very close to, that will give you comfort.

    I'm sure your grandma hears you talking to her and she is looking down you on. Know that she is no longer is in pain and in a good place now. I hope you get some sleep tonight and you will be in my thoughts and prayers tomorrow. God Bless You!!  (((((((hugs))))))))  You can do this!!!

                                               Love,  Babs


Diagnosis: Lupus and Restless leg syndrome 1990, RA and  Fibro 1994, Sjoren's and Raynaud's 1995, Diverticulitis 1998, Seizures April, 2005
 

JOB 5:18 For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal.
 
Please help Healingwell succeed in helping others. Any donations will be greatly appreciated.
 


Daisy9980
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Date Joined Sep 2004
Total Posts : 775
   Posted 7/31/2005 6:18 AM (GMT -7)   
thank you so much- off i go!!
 


kayakmom
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Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 7/31/2005 8:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Praying for you Tracy as you say your Good-byes and honor your grandma......

(((tracy)))


Ginny

mom46
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Date Joined Dec 2004
Total Posts : 8198
   Posted 7/31/2005 10:25 AM (GMT -7)   

Tracy,

    Just wanted to send you some ((((((hugs))))) today!!! Your in my thoughts and prayers.

                                          Love,  Babs


Diagnosis: Lupus and Restless leg syndrome 1990, RA and  Fibro 1994, Sjoren's and Raynaud's 1995, Diverticulitis 1998, Seizures April, 2005
 

JOB 5:18 For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal.
 
Please help Healingwell succeed in helping others. Any donations will be greatly appreciated.
 


mom46
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Date Joined Dec 2004
Total Posts : 8198
   Posted 7/31/2005 10:37 PM (GMT -7)   

Tracy,

   I hope the funeral wasn't a big stress on you and you didn't have any health problems. (((((((hugs)))))) to you and when you feel up to it, let us know how it went. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

                                          Love,  Babs


Diagnosis: Lupus and Restless leg syndrome 1990, RA and  Fibro 1994, Sjoren's and Raynaud's 1995, Diverticulitis 1998, Seizures April, 2005
 

JOB 5:18 For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal.
 
Please help Healingwell succeed in helping others. Any donations will be greatly appreciated.
 


mom46
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2004
Total Posts : 8198
   Posted 8/1/2005 8:55 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Tracy,

    ((((hugs))))  I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you today!!

                                                 Love,  Babs


Diagnosis: Lupus and Restless leg syndrome 1990, RA and  Fibro 1994, Sjoren's and Raynaud's 1995, Diverticulitis 1998, Seizures April, 2005
 

JOB 5:18 For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal.
 
Please help Healingwell succeed in helping others. Any donations will be greatly appreciated.
 


FamilyGuy
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 3310
   Posted 8/2/2005 7:38 AM (GMT -7)   
((((((((((Tracy)))))))))) Thinking of you...
Jon
 
"The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides. Accept life, and you must accept regret."
-- Henri-Frédéric Amiel (1821-81), Swiss philosopher, poet
 
Please allow HealingWell to continue helping others by donating: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/


Daisy9980
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Date Joined Sep 2004
Total Posts : 775
   Posted 8/2/2005 8:02 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi guys! This will be short. But a big thank you to the outpour of support I got here. Sunday was so hard on me. I am still just so sad. I did make it threw the day seizure free. Which was great for me and the memory of my grandmas funeral. I am still in shock, and so upset, that cancer took her away from all of us. The amount of friends she had was amazing. What a wonderful group of people. She will be missed. Thanks so much for checking up on me and supporting me. I really need it and I am so thankful for this site. Take care guys, will update you soon, Tracy

(some nice stories I want to tell about the service when I am up to it)
 


mom46
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Date Joined Dec 2004
Total Posts : 8198
   Posted 8/2/2005 8:28 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Tracy,

    It's good to hear from you. Thank you for the quick update. I know you are still sad and mad. That is normal sweetie!!  It will take time. (((((Hugs))))

    I'm glad you meet so many nice people at the service. I'm sure your grandma will be missed by many. I will be looking for your next post when your up to it to hear the nice stories.

   You take care and try to get plenty of rest. You are still in my thoughts and prayers.

                                              Love,  Babs


Diagnosis: Lupus and Restless leg syndrome 1990, RA and  Fibro 1994, Sjoren's and Raynaud's 1995, Diverticulitis 1998, Seizures April, 2005
 

JOB 5:18 For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal.
 
Please help Healingwell succeed in helping others. Any donations will be greatly appreciated.
 


Teri16
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2003
Total Posts : 5230
   Posted 8/2/2005 9:34 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Tracy!
 
I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you and wishing you all the best!  I'm glad that you made it through the day without any problems. 
 
Hugs, Teri


"Because he is he and I am I."......E. V. Lucas

"I Hope You Dance".............LeeAnn Womack
 
Please allow HealingWell to continue helping others by donating:

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