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redrose77
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 2573
   Posted 9/15/2005 4:25 PM (GMT -7)   
I noticed something in ~Jennifer~'s signature and it made me think about something. I was wondering if anyone could tell me what happens when a small baby has a major siezure. I ask because we lost our son in December 2000 and no one has been able to explain why. He had lost weight, several times he went rigid and pale, then one morning I woke up and he wasn't breathing, there was blood under his nose and a small amount of blood on the bed next to him. His lungs were full of blood- even in the small air sacs. He had problems eating- kept throwing up. The doctor had called me a parinoid young mother and dismissed my concerns- even sent him home from the ER the night before he died despite his having slept through having blood drawn (he was 6 weeks old) and he went rigid and then limp an hour later but was quiet and watched me then ate and went to sleep. I hate to ask such a hard question but I have been searching for an explination for years. Worse I lost a daughter in 1996 to what was diagnosed as SIDS but had some very disturbing parallels to my son's death. Neither child was mistreated or abused and in both cases I knew something was wrong and had begged the doctors to help me figure out what it was. Both times I was dismissed completely. Realizing that siezures are sometimes linked to genetics and not knowing who my father is or if he might have had any health problems my own diagnosis today with a siezure disorder combined with what I read about ~Jennifer~'s child made alarms ring off in my head. My husband and I have been terrified of having another child- even with a surrogate mother because we don't know what happened. If this helps both were my children but each had a different father. Yet my husband is adopted and when no explination was given for our son's death he began to blame his own genetics.

redrose77
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 2573
   Posted 9/15/2005 4:48 PM (GMT -7)   
The autopsy showed nothing- as in no cause at all no sign that anything had been wrong. all it did was prove to the cops we hadn't killed our child. we were treated as if we killed him for a week waiting for the autopsy. my mother in law still believes I am responsible for his death. She thinks I killed my daughter too despite the SIDS label and even after showing her the autopsy stating that I had not harmed my daughter, we also showed her the one on our son that stated no one had harmed him but she insists on believing I killed my own children and made it impossible for us to live in my husband's home town by telling everyone I got away with murder. We had to leave the area and start over again. As for my personally having another child- it is not possible due to complications with my heart. I have two normal and healthy daughters but my husband is terrified of history repeating itself and I am unsure i could stand to be around a baby again.

kayakmom
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2003
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 9/16/2005 10:24 AM (GMT -7)   
Rose, I am so very sorry that you lost two children so young! It is hard to know if it could be seizures or not. I know that SIDs can run in families as well and there are just so many times it is never explained.......I am so very sorry for your loss.

Have you seen a genetecist to see if there is something you need to know before trying for more children?


Ginny

redrose77
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 2573
   Posted 9/17/2005 11:47 AM (GMT -7)   
the one geneticist we saw refused to test for anything because our son was dead so he said it was pointless nothing could be found without our son alive to test as well. I have given up the idea of having more children myself- my heart is strained too baddly each time I try to stay pregnant long enough for the baby to be okay I almost died a couple times. I would use a surrogate mother to carry a child that was ours but the fear is so bad that I am unsure I could be around that young of a child. My aunt looked into it and said given my disease and the fact 2 of my children died no agency would allow me to adopt- they would consider me a risk to the child and say I could end up unable to care for the child in a few years. Apparently having a SIDS baby makes state agencies assume you were responsible if you try to adopt- making matters worse is the unknown cause listed on my son's death certificate. When my daughter died I was told SIDS rarely strikes the same family twice- that it was less likely than getting hit by lightening three times in exactly the same spot on three different occassions. Had they said it runs in families I would never have tried again. It was just too hard to deal with having been the one to do CPR and fail let alone have that be the case twice.
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