OK. First, I have not had a seizure since August 26th (good thing) and was put on this new drug - Keppra. So far I have been through zonegran (zonegram, whatever it is called) which I didn't do so hot with - I don't react well to "sulfa" drugs so I was pretty much drugged up and confused. Then they switched it to dilantin which was OK, for a while, but I was still having seizures (I even got a nice black eye from one). I was also on "toxic" levels of the drug which meant that I was drugged up and crazy but it was kind of cool because I would just say, in my slurring voice, "I have toxic levels of seizure medication in my system so please forgive me." So then I went on Keppra. Which has been great seizure-wise. However, I sleep all the time (like 16 hours a day), am confused and really think that the only reason that I wake up is to pee - which I do ALOT now. I have always had pretty severe vertigo and balance problems - I am the girl that got the DWI because of the seizure but this is ridiculous even for me. Apparently I am also totally irrational (which is nothing new) but wouldn't you think that if I was totally irrational I wouldn't care?? I attributed a lot of this to severe depression but, after doing a no-no and looking up the side effects on the internet, I thought "maybe it is the drug?" OK so I am blond but couldn't I have figured that one out before??
Someone called me the other night - way past my bed time (of 9:00 since I take the stupid pill at 7) and although I remember talking to him (he the sociopath that I WAS dating).
I have NO clue what was said - but I think that it was mean - meaning he was mean to me. He is depressing me as well - he told everyone that I was "so in love with him" that I was drinking and taking drugs to "get over him." Get over him?? Get over yourself guy!! Furthermore, get out of my life - just come get your stuff and go away and give me my stuff back - just not the sheets that you took from me because I don't know what has happened on them. He said something to the effect of "I used to know this nice sweet girl and now you have slandered me and are trying to ruin my life." If I was intent on ruining your life I would do it - I could probably even get off with an insanity plea. Don't call the police as I have no plans to do that - but it is one of those interesting irrational thoughts.
So now here is my major dilemma. I know that seizures are dangerous and I can't drive and all but isn't that better than being a nutcase?? Plus, since I am now considered a nutcase no one believes that it is the new medication and really, more importantly, why do I care? I don't care about much else but I do believe in being truthful and am being portrayed as the opposite. Again, why do I care? All I really care about right now is sleeping and peeing.
Yes I have depression and anxiety but I think that this is making me more anxious, more confused, more sleepy, more emotional, and I pee wayyyy to much.
So now that I have told you some of my life story I was wondering if anyone else has any experience with this drug. And then of course I irrationally think that I like being irrational - who cares??
Does anyone have any ideas or good suggestions??
Thanks for listening.
If I can do anything to help you please let me know.
"Someone's opinion of you doesn't have to become your reality."