Totally in sympathy with you, Jaimes. Epilepsy's an odd condition in some ways. We're totally OK almost all of the time - and then barely able to function the rest. Throw in the fact that most of us have no obvious trigger for our seizures (is this the case for you too?) and paranoia is understandable. Result, if we're not careful then the epilepsy ends up taking the whole of our lives. We can't let it, we can never surrender to this thing, but thinking positive is a hell of a lot easier said than done.
I went mountain walking a couple of weeks ago. Everything was fine but I was brooding a lot beforehand about what would happen if I had a serious seizure. And when I had a petite mal on my own on a steep hillside, it took about half an hour before I calmed down and told myself it was only a petite mal. And I imagine it's been a lot harder if your hobbies are as dramatic as yours are. Like Mandi says, you've just got to take things slowly and fix on the positive. If you're snorkling with friends, for example, tell yourself that they'll look after you if something goes wrong. Though again, I know, easy to do in theory.
Incidentally, it's understandable getting worried about cliff diving in Mexico. It's actually quite sensible. The same goes for swimming with dolphins. Like Terry Pratchett said, any species that grins all the time is planning something.
Re: carreer change due to epilepsy; Here is my story, it's doesn't have to be all that bad. It's just something you learn to deal with.
I also know what it's like to have to change careers due to a seizure condition. My name is Randy, Music runs in my family and starting from age 9, I was playing drums and guitar with proffesional bands. Up until age 21 (1979) I was a singer/songwriter, music teacher and a studio musician. My only dream in life was to make a good living with my music. (I also developed Ulcerative Colitis at the same time as ts the epilepsy was diagnosed. The Docs. say the two are connected) Well, all that had to come to a stop. I was sitting at my desk at my P/T job when I had my first seizure. All I remember from that point on was waking up in the ambulance on the way to the hosp. After going through several tests and then seeing a neurologist, the tests showed that there was epileptic activity in my lower tempral lobe. He then persribed Dilantin and Pheonobarb (still on today) and the seizures were under control. I was even able to keep my drivers licence. One major problem though, the pills were severely messing up my co-ordination. I walked like a drunk, slurred my speech, my own family was embarassed to be seen with me. Since my co-ordination was so bad, I could no longer play guitar or drums and I had to give up teaching. I was so depressed, I could no longer fulfill my dream, now what was I going to do. I had to make a career change. I was putting in job applications all over but I had no other experience. Finally I got hired on by the Federal Government as a courier and mail clerk. I worked my way up to Administraion Manager for the Unemployment Insurance Office for 21 years and then 9 years with Veterans Affairs. My condition was getting worse with age, no seizures but the meds were blocking my learning ability so I couldn't take on extra duties. As a result of this, my employer(The Government of Canada) put me on medical retirement last year (I'm oly 48) but after my disability insurance runs out. I had to learn to live with my disability and work around it.
I also found that I had developed a kind of paranoia as one of the side affects of the meds.