I feel sorry for your loss. Your mom souded lioke an incredible woman.
I wish the best for you!
I lost my mom when I was 10 years old, long time ago :( Im sorry for your loss.
I haven't come on here for awhile - just a lot going on with family being in town, and trying to make arrangements and stuff. Everyone left Sunday, after the church services, and it was the first chance I had to really be by myself since last Sunday. I'm weird when I grieve, b/c at first it's like nothing has happened, and I go around trying to make everyone else smile and laugh. But when I'm by myself, the influx of memories makes it hard to even breathe. Fortunately I have some really awesome friends who have stuck really close to me all week. In between the memorial and the graveside service they helped me disappear for awhile.
I went back to the cemetary after everyone else had left and waited until she was buried so I could arrange the flowers. It sounds kind of weird, I'm sure, but it was what I needed to do by myself, so I could deal with it on my own.
Things will get better, I know. Right now I'm just dealing with the memories - all good ones, but still painful, b/c you know you won't have anymore like that with that person.
Fortunately the seizures have stayed at bay. A few minor ones at night, but nothing during the day for the relatives to see. They were all surprisingly understanding about it, and though they asked me a few times if I were okay (in the physical sense, not the 'are you okay in regards to the fact you just buried your mom'), they seemed to understand that I just needed some space. Many of my family members work in medicine, so I was able to explain it pretty simply to one, and have it get accurately shared to everyone else. It's nice not to have to keep it a secret anymore. I hadn't realized how hard it was to keep it to myself until I had the ability to share it.
Anyway, sorry this is longer. Thank you, guys, for writing your notes. It helps to see them.
What a wonderful thing to do, to stay and arrange the flowers after your mom was buried. I'm sure you brought another smile to her face.
Take care, Rogue,