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Rogue
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 65
   Posted 8/30/2006 8:44 AM (GMT -7)   
Just wanted to update you guys that my mom went home to be with the Lord on Sunday, August 27th.  She died from complications with Leukemia, and my dad and I and one of my brothers were able to be with her.  Her memorial is Saturday, so if you guys could be thinking of me and praying for me, I'd appreciate it.
I had to take a detour to the ER myself on Sunday, b/c the stress levels were increasing the seizures, and I couldn't stop twitching.  I'm doing a lot better, but it's rough with my family worrying about how I'm handling things, and if I'll be ok Saturday.
I wish you guys could have known my mom.  She was an incredible woman who could make anyone smile.  She's the one who taught me how to find joy in the middle of life's largest struggles.
~Heidi Hope~
 
 
"For I know the plans I have for you", says the Lord.  "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  Plans to give you Hope & a Future."
Jeremiah 29:11


RanMan
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 664
   Posted 8/30/2006 10:39 AM (GMT -7)   

Heidi,

I feel sorry for your loss. Your mom souded lioke an incredible woman.

Randy

 


Diagnosed with epilepsy and ulcerative colitis in 1979,
Been on meds ever since.
 
275mg-dilantin/day
120mg-pheonobarb/day
3,000mg-Mesasol/day
20mg-Celexa/day


PositivePerson
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 84
   Posted 8/30/2006 1:15 PM (GMT -7)   
I am sorry for your loss. I am sure your mom will always be with you in spirit.

Riva

Fen
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 71
   Posted 8/30/2006 7:13 PM (GMT -7)   

I wish the best for you!

I lost my mom when I was 10 years old, long time ago :(  Im sorry for your loss.

Robert


debbiedoo54
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 8/30/2006 11:02 PM (GMT -7)   
Rogue ...

I am so sorry for your loss. My mother died three years ago July 23, so I know what you're feeling. The good news is that the pain DOES subside some. But it takes time.

In the mean time, be good to yourself. Take things easy, don't let anyone try to make you think you need to "move on" with your grief and most importantly of all, just think of all the good times you had with your mother, and how much she loved you and how much you loved her (even if you never spoke it out loud).

Just close your eyes and she's there with you.

coffee 'n cigs
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 69
   Posted 9/1/2006 7:00 AM (GMT -7)   
My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family, Rogue. I am so sorry for your loss. Your mom sounds like a wonderful and very wise human being.

andrew50
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2004
Total Posts : 93
   Posted 9/1/2006 11:28 AM (GMT -7)   
My deepest condolences, Rogue. It must be one of the hardest times in anyone's life. We'll all be praying for you to give you and hope that gives you the strength you need.

coffee 'n cigs
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 69
   Posted 9/1/2006 10:01 PM (GMT -7)   
I wish we had a rose icon. Thinking of you, Rogue.

Rogue
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 65
   Posted 9/5/2006 7:10 PM (GMT -7)   

Thanks guys

I haven't come on here for awhile - just a lot going on with family being in town, and trying to make arrangements and stuff.  sad Everyone left Sunday, after the church services, and it was the first chance I had to really be by myself since last Sunday.  I'm weird when I grieve, b/c at first it's like nothing has happened, and I go around trying to make everyone else smile and laugh.  But when I'm by myself, the influx of memories makes it hard to even breathe.  Fortunately I have some really awesome friends who have stuck really close to me all week.  In between the memorial and the graveside service they helped me disappear for awhile.

I went back to the cemetary after everyone else had left and waited until she was buried so I could arrange the flowers.  It sounds kind of weird, I'm sure, but it was what I needed to do by myself, so I could deal with it on my own.

Things will get better, I know.  Right now I'm just dealing with the memories - all good ones, but still painful, b/c you know you won't have anymore like that with that person.

Fortunately the seizures have stayed at bay.  A few minor ones at night, but nothing during the day for the relatives to see.  They were all surprisingly understanding about it, and though they asked me a few times if I were okay (in the physical sense, not the 'are you okay in regards to the fact you just buried your mom'), they seemed to understand that I just needed some space.  Many of my family members work in medicine, so I was able to explain it pretty simply to one, and have it get accurately shared to everyone else.  It's nice not to have to keep it a secret anymore.  I hadn't realized how hard it was to keep it to myself until I had the ability to share it.

Anyway, sorry this is longer.  Thank you, guys, for writing your notes.  It helps to see them. :-)


~Heidi Hope~
 
 
"For I know the plans I have for you", says the Lord.  "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  Plans to give you Hope & a Future."
Jeremiah 29:11


coffee 'n cigs
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 69
   Posted 9/5/2006 9:42 PM (GMT -7)   

What a wonderful thing to do, to stay and arrange the flowers after your mom was buried. I'm sure you brought another smile to her face.

Take care, Rogue,

c&c


Kremit
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 35
   Posted 9/6/2006 4:18 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Rogue,
I know we've never had any interaction, but I just saw your post, and I'm sorry for your loss. Someday the good memories won't hurt so much. You're in my thoughts.

- Kremit

Rogue
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 65
   Posted 9/6/2006 11:24 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks again, guys.
I went yesterday to blow bubbles in the cemetary. My dad gave me a huge bottle that my mom had, and I figured that was the best thing to do with it. Another thing that was cool, was that instead of wearing black to the funeral, I wore a bright turquoise blue dress (my mom's request), and one of my brothers wore bright green. That was one thing my mom talked about since the first time she had cancer, was that when she died, it was a time to celebrate her life, not to mourn her death. I want the same thing for myself, but I hope and pray it is a very long time from now.
~Heidi Hope~
 
 
"For I know the plans I have for you", says the Lord.  "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  Plans to give you Hope & a Future."
Jeremiah 29:11


dinger57
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 51
   Posted 9/8/2006 4:21 PM (GMT -7)   
I so sorry for you loss. Your mom sounded like a wonderful person and know she will be missed. I hope that everything works out for you. Just remember we are here for you. We are praying for you to have strength thu it.

Ken
Had My Brain surgery, and I was so scared, but the doctors made me feel good and and I did. They kidded with me before the surgery and before I knew it I was in recovery Thanks for helping me. Mine is on the  left temporal lobe. They say it is deep it my brain.


Rogue
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 65
   Posted 9/9/2006 7:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Mandi,
Yeah, it made me smile too. My brother and I went to the mall together to specifically pick out what we were going to wear, and the whole time we kept asking each other, "would this make Mom smile". My other brother would have joined us, but he lives in Arizona, so we just told him what we were doing, and he wore green as well. My dress was a dancing dress, which I love, because my two passions are music and dancing. Anyway, still feels good to write about it. It's getting a little easier to talk about it, too. Thanks for all your comments. Thanks to everyone else as well. I feel blessed.
~Heidi Hope~
 
 
"For I know the plans I have for you", says the Lord.  "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  Plans to give you Hope & a Future."
Jeremiah 29:11

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