Aurora - Your post made me feel like I was reading about the way I was until several years ago. I don't know the details about your son, but I will tell you about me. By the way, I have a grand mal seizure disorder.
I graduated highschool when I was 19. I was far behind academically. I finally finished college at 26 with a degree in sec ed/social science. I had been so preoccupied with playing catch-up for 7 years, that I failed to realize that I wasn't meant to teach. One of the many jobs I had when I graduated college was being a teacher's aid in a classroom for severely emotionally disturbed elementary school kids. I had many other jobs that I couldn't hold down for any more than months at a time. Might I add, the first two years after college was spent living with my parents and watching TV. I had the brains, but couldn't hold down those jobs for two main reasons.
First, due to having spent most of my time studying in college, I hardly had any job experience at all. Second, I had received a degree in something I wasn't meant to do. This was extremely frustrating for me, and I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do. Two years ago, I held down a job as a hotel bellman for about a year. It was a positive and a negative experience all wrapped up in one.
The negative side was that it was another dead end job that I knew would lead nowhere. I still felt so empty inside. The positive side was that this job helped me wake up. I realized that I was great with the guests/customers, and the regulars even requested my service whenever they came back. I considered staying, but learned that I would never have a chance at getting into management without a degree in hotel management. When I quit, a friend of mine suggested the grocery business as an option.
Here I am having worked for a major grocery operation for a year, and I absolutely love it. I spoke with the store director 5 months ago about wanting to get into grocery management. He felt I was meant for it, and is having his head grocery manager train me to become an asst grocery manager. At 31, I finally found where I belong when it comes to a career. Actually, the grocery business found me.
On an end note, your son has a chance. It's not too late! Just like my parents did with me, you have to let him go so he can find his own way. Until my parents let me go, I didn't have a chance at growing up and taking on adult responsibilities. My parents help me out a little due to not being on salary yet. Speaking from personal experience, it's time to let him go so he can start to make a life for himself. If you don't, it will never happen.
On an end note, I have a younger sister who is very successful and is working on her masters/phd. Now that I have a professional career in the making, the jealously is lessoning more and more. I suspect that your son feels a bit of jealousy toward his brother. Anyway, I wish you and your son all the best life has to offer!