The party's over

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QTKaren
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 605
   Posted 7/23/2008 11:36 AM (GMT -7)   
Well the partys over,problem is I didnt even know I was having one or I would have enjoyed it more!!  I am talking about weight gain!!  Omggggggg I had worked so hard to lose 75 pounds and was determined to get another 20 off and I stepped on the scales this moring and I gained 10 pounds in the last month.  I am praying that some of that is residual water gain form yesterday.  I am having a problem with edema and yesterday I swelled up so bad it looked like I was going to pop!!  The majority of the swelling was in my legs.  I have had some edema in my lower legs a few times since starting the Lyrica and was so afriad that was going to make me have to stop taking it but it only happened a couple times and that was with me sitting too long or being on my feet a long time and went away overnight.
 
The last 3 days I have had my lower legs swell quite a bit but yesterday the swelling went all the way up my thighs to the point where I thought I might have to go to the ER.  Omg my legs hurt so bad and were rock hard and twice the size of thier normaly chubby size.  I couldnt hardly even walk and of course it was the day I was out with my daughter but I cut it short and waddled home.  I doubled my water pilland was guzzeling water and I finally started to pee.  I realized that I really hadnt been going that much for 2 days.  So I spent most of last night with my legs up on a foam wedge praying they would come down in size and they did.  This morning still a lil swollen but not bad.  But even with this edema I know that not all of that 10 pounds was from edema.  I have been pigging out for a week straight and sure not following my own advice of sticking to low cal snacks at night.  So it's time to get my big butt in gear and do something about it.  I knew that I was gaining some by the way my clothes felt.  After losing the 75 I threw out all my fatter clothes and bought only pants with zippers and no stretch clothes so I would know even without going on the scale if things were getting out of hand.
 
I am so disapointed in myself.  I took the hard work for granted and look what happened.  I even had bought some really great blouses a size smaller(I am a 16 and bought some 14's and was at a 24) with the hope of getting into them by the end of summer but thats not happening.  The thing is I know exactly where I went wrong.  It was always at night when my pain was at its worst and I was tired so I just started this "I dont care" attitude.  I am so ashamed that I have been picking on Jay for weeks about his weight while I had this superior attidude because I had lost weight and he had gained,truly what a B**** I have been.  And I was still no where close to what I needed to be at for a goal weight.  I never had plans of going below a size 12-14 but was a good 20 pounds away from that.  Who was I fooling?once a fat girl always a fat girl at least at heart.  I knew from years before that its always going to be a struggle for me.  I am not new to losing a large amount of weight.  I lost over 80 pounds in the early 90's on nutri system before breaking my tailbone and then gaining it all back plus some.  I got up to nearly 300 pounds during a bad marriage and dealing with chonic pain then lost most of that and was in a size 12 when I met Jay.
 
Then once again gained again when I fell and broke my back and through several surgeries that followed.  Some of the weight gain was unavoidable as I couldnt work out like I used to but alot of it was emotional eating.....your hurting so eat,your deppressed so eat,your sad so eat and sometimes even on the rare day that your happy eat to celebrate.  I am an emotional eater and I fell right back into that pattern this last month or so going from one flare to the next.  I wish I could afford to be on some plan where the meals are brought to you and there is no guessing or thinking about it you just eat what they give you but I dont have that option anymore I am broke as a joke most days and really when you think about it even if you can afford those plans when your reach your goal weight you have to be on your own eventually so why not from the start?  This is so hard and I dont know if I have it in me anymore to keep fighting what my body for some reason wants to keep going back to.
 
I guess its pretty bad if your life has got to the point that you find more joy in eating a hershy bar then so many other things in life but with my health the way it is I dont really have a choice.  Gaining back all that weight would be a disaster and just add to my woes of high blood pressure and added pain and I cant handle much more of that.  So even if alot of this pudge is water gain time to get my arse in gear and practice what I preach and hopefully Jay will take the journey with me cause that sure wouldmake it so much easier to get healthy together.  Wish me luck =)
 
Love and Hug's,
Karen
Karen
 
Mom of one gramma to 4
 
Fibromyalgia,IBS,Stroke x2,endometriosis,Diabetes type 2,neuropathic pain,nerve damage due to tailbone removel,nerve damage due to fractured back,deppresion,high blood pressure,severe nausea,atrophy,chronic pain


CyndiO
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 90
   Posted 7/23/2008 12:31 PM (GMT -7)   
QTK-
Aww, girl, don't be so hard on yourself. :-)   You lost 75 lbs-Wow that is a great accomplishment! Here is the way I see it-You have already said that some of it is from edema. A 10# weight gain-it seems to me that you caught yourself fairly early in the process. I know how hard it is to stay on a healthy eating plan. Seems like there is food everywhere sometimes. But you can do it! You have already proved that. This is just a minor set back. Put it behind you and don't beat yourself up. We are here for you! You will be back  on track in no time and we can do the victory dance! yeah
 
Wishing you lots of luck and sending prayers your way!
 
Cyndi

Jeannie143
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 6056
   Posted 7/23/2008 7:20 PM (GMT -7)   
One day at a time... one meal or snack at a time. Just brush yourself off and get back on the wagon. A little slip does not mean that everything is over... Tomorrow is a new day. Start again and keep at it. You can do it.
~ Jeannie, Forum Moderator/Diabetes & Fibromyalgia
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa

"People are like stained glass windows: They sparkle and shine when the sun's out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light within."- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross


Sera Smiles
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 671
   Posted 7/24/2008 12:04 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey I agree with these statements- the first of getting off your own back. You are being too hard on yourself. I know it is tempting to do, when nothing else seems to be working, just take it out on yourself! You are an easy target, right? What are you going to do- argue with yourself? Dang right you are! If its within your power to be mean to yourself, then its within your power to be nice to yourself. Okay- you recognize the behavior, which in my opinion, is 75% of the battle. Remember how it felt to be healthier and consider allowing yourself to change directions and be a better friend to yourself. Definitely look into the edima because I'll bet a large part of those pounds are from that. Cut yourself some slack and remember that your life isn't about "today, right now", its about the sum of your parts and you are special. Stop using self-abusive language such as "big butt", "pudge", and being ashamed. Ashamed of what? Staying alive? Wanting something better, a life less painful? Each day that you wake up and can breathe and be special to others, is a good day- one that you earned for the love and care you give others. Let go of your self abuse and do something you enjoy, like a hobby or a book, or needle point, or whatever you like. Learn to exchange one kind of positive pleasure for a negative one. You can do it, I know you can. Turn that love for life that you have to yourself- turn your inner light on YOU for a bit and be proud of who you are and what you have accomplished, and how much you mean to little people who love and need YOU. Keep your chin up and let us know how you are today. Go start a new party!
Peace!
"Its never too late to be who you might have been" George Eliot


QTKaren
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 605
   Posted 7/24/2008 1:06 AM (GMT -7)   
You guys are great and made me feel so special. I cant stay long been on my back with my legs up all day. Swelling in legs continues with a hot red rash as well. I have to set up an emergency appointment with the doctor as I showed my legs to the pharmacist and she about fell over and she got very serious with me. She asked how long this had been going on and how bad and when I told her at least 3 days and though bad today it had been even worse she said she believed it was congestive heart failure specialy with my health history so need to get checked asap. I am really scared I have already had 2 strokes and I am diabetic and have been running myself into the ground and for what? trying to help a family that doesnt really care as long as they got what they wanted out of me? and I can say that cause when I showed the pharmacist my legs she had stopped me in the store when she saw how I was walking and I told her I was there shopping for my mom. My mom had saw my legs before I went and I had been begging her to hurry up and make up her mind so I could even go and get home cause my legs were hurting so much(I had been at her house for hours going through tons of boxes of junk to get rid of). Even as I finally started walking out her door she was yelling back at me "did you bring your lil cart?" I said no and she goes"well gee then I guees getting milk too would be too heavy?you can go back tomorrow cant you?" and she knew right then that I was having trouble and wanted to go home to rest. I asked her why didnt she go to the store herself today and she said she just hadnt got in the shower and didnt want to go looking like that and when I said how bout you go and get milk tomorrow she said "ohhhhhhhh I guess if I have to" does that sound like someone who cares? they may say they care but their actions dont show it. Jay told me today that unless I am at the doctors I better not be doing anything but resting my legs tomorrow. I hope he remembers that when he comes home and the chores arent done and there is no dinner cause I know in my heart I will probaby hear"oh I guess I have to make my own food?" easier to say its my family thats the problem when I do many things I shouldnt for him because of the guilt factor and then I get the "well I never told you that you had to do this or that"but himand the rest have made it very clear that is what they wanted from me by their actions or they would have already done for themselves. Oh well I am tired and hurting so I am going to bed. Will get back to you with what I find. The funny thing is one of the first things I thought when told I might have congestive heart failure is I dont have time for this, how messed up is that?

Love ,
Karen
Karen
 
Mom of one gramma to 4
 
Fibromyalgia,IBS,Stroke x2,endometriosis,Diabetes type 2,neuropathic pain,nerve damage due to tailbone removel,nerve damage due to fractured back,deppresion,high blood pressure,severe nausea,atrophy,chronic pain


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40567
   Posted 7/24/2008 4:25 AM (GMT -7)   
Karen,

You have to start thinking of YOU. This could be serious. I know that you would like to be there for everybody else, but if you don't think of yourself, you wont be able to help anybody.

And no more Hershey bars, okay?

You are such a sweet person, but like I said, this could be serious and if you don't take care of youself and rest, you could end up in the hospital.

Be good to you.
hugs, Karen...
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


kelly71
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 726
   Posted 7/24/2008 8:01 AM (GMT -7)   
QTK,
 
First of all, you need to have that edema looked at.  It could be related to so many things-I see you have high BP and you are diabetic.  That much swelling is NOT normal.  As you know, I'm not a doctor (I don't even play one on TV), but I do have a medical background.  But, any layperson would agree with me (I hope) that something is wrong.  I mean, your kidneys could be shutting down!  Please take care of yourself.  We need you around.
 
As far as the weight goes, I do understand how you feel.  But, it sounds as though at least some of that weight is from the edema.  So, don't knock yourself, OK?  I am overweight, and I am desperately trying to change that-because it isn't good for my already crappy health.  Seriously, I know I am one Twinkie shy of being diabetic. eyes
Anyway, as Karen (getting by) said, TAKE CARE OF YOU! yeah

FINALLY dxd on 06/13/08
Vicodin, Neurontin, Ibuprofen for pain-which doesn't help, BTW
Zoloft & methadone (NOT for pain) for sanity-which doesn't help, BTW
Klonopin for anxiety (Guess what?  Doesn't help!)
 
"I'll take the Chivas instead"
-Kelly Clarkson


Statgeek
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1495
   Posted 7/24/2008 9:18 PM (GMT -7)   

Aww, Karen, please don't be so hard on yourself.  It is perfectly normal for a woman's weight to fluctuate about 5 pounds.  Add the water weight and you may not have gained as much as you thought.  Just make sure you are keeping your metabolism up and eating regularly.  And give your self a big pat on the back - losing 75 pounds is no small feat! 

~Sue


Gamma
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 233
   Posted 7/25/2008 8:14 AM (GMT -7)   

Karen,

I agree with the others, you are being waaay too hard on yourself.  You have lost the weight before and you can do it again.  Temporary water weight gain is just that: temporary!  I was watching the Tyra Banks  show the other day and they had an expert on there that said you can eat as late in the evening as you want, just not 1 1/2 hrs. before you go to bed.  Sounded good to me.

Don't beat your self up over a temporary setback.  Have yourself a good pity party and then get on with business.  Remember what Scarlett O'Hara said: Tomorrow is another day. :-)


Gentle hugs,
 
Gamma
 
Fibro, Osteoporosis, OA, RA, DDD, IBS, Vertigo, Tinnitus, Carpel Tunnel, Epilepsy, TMJ,  Hypothyroidism, Familial Tremors, Spasms, Neuropathy, Trigeminal neuralgia, heel spurs
 
 


Marlee2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 7/25/2008 8:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Karen, it was wrong for the pharmacist to make a dx. Your on lyrica which can cause swelling. I hope you get into the doc soon.
 
You lost 75 lbs, I can't even get 10 off. Well I could if I gave up my sweets but oh that is so hard for me to give up. I am a night time snacker. I do great during the day but after dinner gotta have the sweets.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium and Osteoarthritis
 
Amitriptyline, Celexa, Xanax, Synthroid, Zyrtec, Micardis, Spironalactone, Tylenol, Reglan, Lidoderm Patches and Tramadol
 
Co Q 10, Super B Complex, Extra B12, Multi vitamin

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