Hi Broomhilda~ I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety/panic about the same time that I was dxd with Fibro and for me socialization is a big stressful problem. For example... I'm new to my office and I work part-time so it's about lunch time when we all walk out of the office at the same time. I'm invited often to go to lunch with the girls or even go to events outside of work and I decline with excusses such as... oh my kids are home waiting for me or I have things to do. The truth is I'd really rather be home with my family or home waiting for them to come home. Being social stresses me out something awful. I do often feel there is no point in telling new people of my Fibro for fear of rejection and disbelieve. My social enxciety is so bad that I get hives and D before going any place even work sometimes, because of the stress it can cause me. It's just awful. I don't think avoiding certain thing is so bad. The only worry that I have of becoming the hermit I long to be is I have four active teenages and an active young at heart husband and they don't want to hear me say no all the time.
To answer your question, I do feel that it is a form of social withdrawal.
How helpful am I...
I find this a very interesting question. I imagined it was just my personality because I've always been a bit backward. But these days I do try to avoid any stressful situation because it brings pain. And meeting new people too me has always been stressful.
The main worry for me now is not remembering people's names and etc. I envy the people who have bubbly personalities and seem to always have something to say. I've always put it off to just be a product of my childhood. I am essentially an only child and we moved around a great deal when I was young. I never really learned the social skills people take for granted.
More withdrawn than I used to be, yes. And angry that Fibro has placed limitations on my life.
I could be a recluse...I fanaticize at times of owning my own island somewhere.
I find a different flavor of my life now...like licorice...I hate licorice! Maybe I shall have to develop a taste for it???
You have stated perfectly the way I have been feeling. I too have the feeling of contentment. I feel like my home is my own little world and I am satisifed staying around here doing what I feel that I can do at any given moment. The good thing about this DD is that I have learned to lighten up on myself. I am slowly backing away from perfectionism. I am not there yet but I am evolving. I sometimes worry that I am withdrawing socially. I have also come to realize that when I am home all of my comfort measures are here-my heating pad, pain meds, favorite pillow, etc- just in case I need them. I feel like these things are my security blanket and that is part of the reason I have become such a home body. I am much more appreciative of things around me and stop to "smell the roses" more often. For that I am thankful ...
Post Edited (Sherrine) : 7/30/2008 2:00:23 PM (GMT-6)
I’m glad you asked this question Broomhilda. I’ve been thinking about it for a couple of weeks myself. For me, I would say that I’ve been keeping more to myself because it’s a safe zone rather than a comfort zone and what Chutz said about how exhausting it can be to socialize, really hit home. I lost a friend at work because of it. It’s a long story but basically she’s the type of person who loves to laugh and joke around a lot, I mean A LOT. It became too exhausting for me when I started to feel the aches and pains. I became cranky and snappy and now she no longer wants to deal with that. I used to feel bad and even depressed about it because I never acted like that before. For so long I stubbornly didn’t accept that something was wrong and because of that I wasn’t learning how to cope. But now I’ve finally accepted that I do have limitations and I’m learning to recognize more and more what makes me tired and I’m even learning how to keep the crankiness to a minimum. I don’t feel bad anymore about what happened with my friend, it’s a shame but I don’t feel bad. It’s over and done, time to move on. I definitely think I will be coming out of my safe zone a little and be more social again. And those that like me for who I am now, well then, they are the ones worth socializing with anyway.
I believe I have had FMS since I was a child, and I used to be active w/ my friends. As a teenager and young woman I had my crowd and we always were doing something. As a young wife and mother, I was always on the go, w/ work in and out of the house. I have noticed that in the past 10 yrs I have a harder time keeping up w/ a social life. I have always been the one to do the b/d parties for my children and the holiday parties for my extended family. I finally gave up the b/d parties for my children. Of course we celebrate in house but not w/ half the state here lol. I had to give up most of the holiday parties. I just don't have the energy to handle all those ppl, I am hopeful to continue the Christmas Eve dinner, we will see. I don't much care for talking on the phone, so long calls are out. I am the person who does the cards or notes to remember b/d or anniversaries or just because. I have backed away from a lot of to dos. I can't deal w/ all the noise or confusion. I need smaller gatherings. My younger sis insists that I should go out and meet new ppl and do this or that. She will push until I finally have to say 'leave me alone' I am not stupid, I know what I can handle and what I can't. She thrives on noise and drama.
I like being in my home, or my yd. I enjoy being w/ my DH and my children. I like being w/ my 'puppy'. I can take small amts of time w/ some family members. Some of them are just overpowering. I know I've changed, but this is where I'm at this time in my life. I'm not unfriendly or unkind, I just need peace. My version, not someone else's version. My sister said I'm going to a crazy old lady w/ cats. I said I will not, I'll be an old lady w/ dogs. Enough rambling. God bless. Alice.