blessing in disguise

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Regular Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 68
   Posted 8/25/2008 9:56 PM (GMT -6)   
I mentioned in another thread that I have been in a bad flare for almost a month. I also mentioned how hard it was to work full time and be in a flare. it's hard enough when I am not flaring. while my work has been very supportive in general about my fibromyalgia, the fact of the matter is that I miss more work then anyone else there because of the fm. I have been kinda warned in the past about missing too much work. things had been extra stressful around work for the last few months and I was really worried it was me, that they were sick of me being sick all the time. I started trying really hard not to leave early or call in sick. working during a flare when really I shouldn't have been there, I wasn't really being productive, how could I be? I shouldn't have even driven to work! last week I cried every day on the way to work. because I knew I was too sick to go in and I felt like I had to anyway, so I did.

they had a big meeting on friday. all the stress around work it turns out isn't about me at all. it is a sign of the economy. they cut all of us full time employees back to part time. every single one, not just me! and after being so sick with this flare for so long, I just burst into tears again, but this time in relief. I have spent the last 6 months asking myself is working fulltime was the right thing to do. even on good days I pretty much spend all my spoons at work. I don't make "art" anymore because even if I am not exhausted, I know I have to save all my energy for work. what kind of life is that? don't I deserve some quality of life at some point?

so I have decided not to worry about it too much. the lose of income is great, and I was working for the money after all. so I need to replace that income somehow. well, I used to teach beadmaking a lot, but gradually quit teaching because I was so exhausted after working all week, and I needed to rest up to work the following week. I can work less and make more by teaching. I might even have enough energy to go back to making "art" again, and maybe go back to writing articles again, which I have also given up over the fibro years. maybe, just maybe this change at work will be the best thing that ever happened to me. I have had this job since for 6 1/2 yrs and my fibro dx for 5 1/2 yrs. I don't know life without fibro and this job anymore. maybe less of this job is going to be an excellent thing for me.

sorry to ramble on and on. I tell you what, I sure enjoyed my 5 hour day today compared to all the 8 hour days I have worked since I got sick. and am even looking forward to tomorrow's 5 hour day. lol

I have missed you guys, and I have been feeling miserable and misunderstood all month. I just needed to talk to folks who understand. I appreciate all of you!

kellie in alaska

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40404
   Posted 8/25/2008 10:33 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Kelly,
It does sound like maybe this was a blessing in disguise.  I think you are right.  And you sound so happy now that you will be able to do the things that you enjoy doing.  And making more money in the long run.  That is so cool!
Best wishes for your new livelyhood. (sp)
Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 68
   Posted 8/25/2008 10:41 PM (GMT -6)   
well, I don't know that I will make more money. if I could only teach every day. a once a month class is about all I can do right now, at the place I am teaching, the schedule is full of other teachers. but I can usually bring in enough students once a month that I make more in 4 hours then I do in 3 days of full time work. so maybe I can work LESS but still bring in the same amount of funds. lol

thank you karen!

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 408
   Posted 8/26/2008 8:42 AM (GMT -6)   

You sound so relieved. The stress you were under may have kept your flare going on. Maybe now you will start to feel a little better. You said that you teach beadmaking and you make art. Could you possible make things when you are feeling well and then sell them at a craft show or something?

It sounds like your situation is beneficial to you. You are in a heathier place and things will work out, stay positive (the theme of the day).


Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 8/26/2008 8:57 AM (GMT -6)   
I'm so happy for you Kellie. I know many on this forum have to work, not only for money but the ins, and I don't know how you all do it. I know most of you are younger than I am which might be the key.
You know what they say, one door closes and another one opens. Now you can spread your wings and find other things to do. idea
luv and hugs
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium and Osteoarthritis
Amitriptyline, Celexa, Xanax, Synthroid, Zyrtec, Micardis, Spironalactone, Tylenol, Reglan, Lidoderm Patches and Tramadol
Co Q 10, Super B Complex, Extra B12, Multi vitamin

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 68
   Posted 8/26/2008 10:01 AM (GMT -6)   
thank you meggie. I am relieved. I think you are right, the stress of going into work sick was keeping the flare going. I knew it too, but felt like I didn't have any choices.

I tried doing craft shows for about 3 yrs. about 1 yr before dx and continued for 2 more yrs after dx. it is extremely hard work to do shows, physically I mean. heavy displays to haul and set up and then 2 or 3 very long days trying to sell your work, and then heavy displays to tear down and haul again. and I hated it on an emotional level, but this was before my therapy and I am a different person now. so I am thinking about it. my friend that I used to share booths with has become quite successful with her business, she thinks that I should concentrate on getting my jewelry into some galleries instead of doing shows. she remembers how hard it was on me and how sick I would get after a show. I think as far as my health is concerned, gallery sales would probably be a better option for me. I should be selling my work. I just have to do it in a way that won't cause me to flare.

marlee, thank you for your post! this is what I keep is my chance to change my life and hopefully get back to what I love to do. I am pretty excited. I haven't touched my clay in months, I was just so burnt out on everything. making art is therapy for me and it would be great if I could make a small living doing what I love. that would greatly help my health I think!

hope everyone has a great day!

kellie (another cold wet gray day in alaska)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 726
   Posted 8/26/2008 10:21 AM (GMT -6)   
I know it sounds weird for me to be telling you that I'm happy that your hours got cut, but I know it's hard to make those decisions yourself.  So, sometimes it really helps when "life" makes them for you.  BTW-I totally understand how you feel about calling in sick or leaving early.  When I was working, I didn't have a fibro dx, yet, so everyone thought I was just lazy and complaining all the time.  Although, I hate to say it, even if they did know I had fibro, I doubt that would have changed their opinion. rolleyes
Anyway, I'm glad that you are feeling better-even though the money situation isn't a good thing.  I really understand that-which is why I've been trying to move home for the last 6 months.  BTW-will anyone call my mom and tell her that I need to get the h*** out of SoCal?  Apparently, she doesn't hear me when I tell her. shakehead
BTW-why do blessings always come in diguises? confused   I've always wondered that.  Oh well, maybe this year I'll be a blessing for Halloween.  I have the perfect disguise! smilewinkgrin
FINALLY dxd on 06/13/08
Vicodin, Neurontin, Ibuprofen for pain-which doesn't help, BTW
Zoloft & methadone (NOT for pain) for sanity-which doesn't help, BTW
Klonopin for anxiety (Guess what?  Doesn't help!)
Chantix to try to quit smoking (started 08/20/08)
"I'll take the Chivas instead"
-Kelly Clarkson

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 1279
   Posted 8/26/2008 10:38 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Kellie-
I agree with this being a blessing in diguise. Less hours = less stress = less pain! I bet you will notice a difference. And what fun to do something you love for part of your income. Your friend has a good idea about putting your work in galleries, wouldn't that be great!? GamJill
Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, TMJ, Arthritis/neck
Zoloft, Tylenol 4000 mg., Zanaflex

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17059
   Posted 8/26/2008 1:13 PM (GMT -6)   
I think you will be surprised at how much better you will start to feel!  I can't imagine going into work, crying, and being so miserable.  And, when you least expect it, something may come along to help with the bills. 
My oldest daughter was struggling for a while to make ends meet.  Out of the blue she was offered a computer job that she could do in the evenings after work!  It was perfect, didn't take much time to do and gave her the added income she needed.  I hope something like this will happen for you, too.  A part-time job working from home would be wonderful for you.
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7

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