Jeannie, a question?

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mamanan
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Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 846
   Posted 10/24/2008 11:00 AM (GMT -7)   
You mentioned in another post having symptoms of fibro as early as age 3. Do you remember what it was like? Reason I'm asking is because my 4 y/o dd often (always) complains of sore knees, legs, and being tired when we go for walks. I've always chalked it up to her just being a kid and wanting to be carried, but now I wonder if I should pay closer attention? I don't want to play into it if it's a game, but I don't want to ignore her either if she is in real pain.

Oh, btw, my dh took your advice and brought some replacement meal bars on his trip. So now at least he is covered if he can't get his regular meals in. And I made banana bread for him with oat flour like you suggested, and he didn't even miss the old way :) Thank you!

<FONT color=#0000ff>Waiting for appointment with rheumy (March 2009) to get an official dx. waiting, waiting, waiting....
Taking malic acid/magnesium combo, what a life saver! and amitriptyline


Sera Smiles
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Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 671
   Posted 10/24/2008 5:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi there! I think your question is a great one. I would like to think that if 1] As a teen I had been able to express the issues I had when they were very bad and someone had listened, things would have been soooooo different in my life. However, this would mean that 2] my mother had not been abusive and created so many tensions and pain for me- but its too late for that, that can't change. nono It may not be too late for your daughter. I would support your investigating her complaints further, altho not just yet with a doc. Here is my thinking- you need to earn her trust if she is really having these pains. Remember how it felt as an adult to have dr after dr after dr refuse to cooperate by telling you that you were fine, this is in your head, stop complaining? Imagine how as a young child she could hear this from a dr and absorb it so fully that she may never trust herself as an adult when both the symptoms and the consequences are worse? Once she has told you of a pain, described it, and you two together can hopefully track the origins, one issue at a time, and come up with a solution with a dr help as needed, you being her advocate, she may be able to overcome some of them while trusting you and herself. If you do something like this, and you learn that she isn't really hurting, then you can use that as a life lesson about how this type of behavior is horribly innappropriate, and how she is harming herself when she may be seeking attention.  If, in my opinion, she is seeking attention and using health issues to get it, then she NEEDS attention- right now. I believe that your listening to her and validating what may be legitimate pain has the potential to create a bond between you two that will last forever. I hope she begins feeling better soon, and you find some peace wink . Let us know how you are both doing.
 


mamanan
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Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 846
   Posted 10/25/2008 7:46 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Sera. That's just it, I know now what it's like to be dismissed when you have pain, I really don't want to do that to her. But she is so young, she doesn't have the words to describe what she is feeling. I just don't want to minimize her pain, if she is in fact feeling it. But I also don't want to play into it and make her complain more about every little thing either! There are things that you just have to learn to shake off. I certainly wouldn't take her to a doctor yet for this, but I may be more sympathetic next time she complains, and exempt her from some walks. I just don't know how to handle this at all :S

Waiting for appointment with rheumy (March 2009) to get an official dx. waiting, waiting, waiting....
Taking malic acid/magnesium combo, what a life saver! and amitriptyline


QTKaren
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 605
   Posted 10/25/2008 8:47 AM (GMT -7)   
HI Mamanan,
 
I'm not sure what to say about whats going on except to listen and talk to her then try and decide.  Sera gave you some great advice, advice I wish I had gotten when my daughter was young.  I have a daughter who is now 29 yrs old with 4 children of her own.  But,when she was a small child of maybe 5 or 6 she complained often of what I passed off as growing pains and so did her pediatricion.  Barbarann would complain of multiple joint pain,specialy in her legs and arms and would sometimes even cry in her bed at night with these pains.  I thought that she was looking for extra attention at the time since alot of these episodes coensided when there was stress in the home.  Of course I now know that with me and my mother having fibro that stress can make it so much worse.
 
But now that she is older I do remember times when we were out doing something she had looked forward too and we would have to stop and wait for her to catch her breath(she had issues with severe fatigue too) and she would rub her knee's and hips and tell me they ached.  After my daughter got older ,say in her teens,these symptoms seemed to disapear and I don't know if it was the excitment of just being an active teen or if she went into a type of remission.  Now that she is aproaching 30 years of age she is once again having these same type of pains,pains that mimic alot of the pain I have and she now has a mother and grandmother who has been dx's with fibro.  I didn't start having major fibro symptoms till my 40's and was dx's about a year ago and my mom wasnt dx's till she was 76 this past year!!!  But in talking to my daughter she told me that the pain was indeed real and sometimes very intense and her tears were genuine.  She now has a daughter who is 6 and is starting to have the same kinds of pains so we are keeping a close eye on her.  It's like specially if they are doing something they love or say a special outing and are complaining of these pains during times were they should be happist is a big indication that what they are feeling is very real.  One time my daughter had one of these episodes during a birthday party to the point where she wanted everyone to go home early and beleive me she was the center of attention that day but I told her to just "suck"it up and get over it because we had so many ppl there for her.  I now feel horrible that added to her pain and the one person in her life that should have been the most understanding dismissed her crys for help mostly because I listened to her doctor and he made it seem trivial and silly on her part and also told me that many of the kids he had seen had so called "growing pains" and they lived through it.  I wonder how many of those ppl grew up and never brought thier pain up to thier doctors out of fear of being dismissed?  really sad.
 
Soft Hug's,
Karen
 
 
Karen
 
Mom of one gramma to 4 lover to One
 
Fibromyalgia,IBS,Stroke x2,endometriosis,Diabetes type 2,neuropathic pain,nerve damage due to tailbone removel,nerve damage due to fractured back,deppresion,high blood pressure,severe nausea,atrophy,chronic pain,nerve damage due to botched bladder surgery,torn hip joint,hypoglycymic
 
Norco(double strength vicodin) 80 to 100 mg @ day
Ms Contin(morphine) 45 mg @ day,Lyrica 600mg @ day
 
 
 


Jeannie143
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 6056
   Posted 10/25/2008 8:40 PM (GMT -7)   
When I was very small I had what my mother called "growing pains" in my legs, the backs of my knees ached, even at 5 or 6 it was painful to climb a tree or climb the slide, my muscles hurt ALL the time that I was playing. I thought everyone was in pain all the time. I also thought that ballerinas and people who did gymnastics were like the saints of old because they chose to perform in what must be horrendous pain from my point of view.

When we went ice skating the pain from my feet getting cold and then warming up was pure agony. I thought that the little mermaid was a real pansy because "it felt like knives were stabbing her feet with every step" when she got her legs. I thought, "So?" Walking to school in the morning (about a mile) wore me out enough that I'd often fall asleep at Mass. The pain in my hips and thighs was awful but by the time I was in second grade I'd learned to keep quiet. In our house the word was, "Quit crying or I'll give you something to cry about!"

By the time I was in middle school and going to pajama parties I had it figured out that something was wrong. I could barely stand the pain of putting my hair up in rollers my shoulders hurt so bad. I saw other girls having no problems doing their hair and I just figured I somehow had extra pain for some reason. Looking back on my life I have had symptoms of fibro for as long as I can remember. None of my five brothers and sisters have the symptoms but my mother appears to have developed it as well as one of my daughters. All in all, it's very strange.
~ Jeannie, Forum Moderator/Diabetes & Fibromyalgia
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa

"People are like stained glass windows: They sparkle and shine when the sun's out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light within."- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

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