Thank you all again for your support. Sometimes just reassurance from fellow sufferers is better than any doctor visit! I guess I was just getting scared again because the doc didn't even suggest another MRI or even an ANA. He knows we don't have insurance (just try getting insurance in your 60's once another company has dropped you because you are 'out of network'....$1500 a month!) and told me it would be a waste of money. He said if my scans and ANA's were negative when I was 50, and then again at 55, I do NOT have have MS. He did order $1000 of other blood work, however, checking for magnesium levels, sed rates and thyroid etc. I suppose having anxiety is the culprit here, always thinking they have missed something!
You have all been wonderful and I am glad you are here. I hope I don't drive you all crazy!
Sherrine, I know exactly what you mean about finding a distraction. Writng has always been my passion. I have four books in print and have done some free lance stuff. The problem is that sitting at the computer for hours(again, I forget my limits and sit too long to the point where my husband has to remind me to eat) makes the RLS go crazy. The pads of my fingers are sore from the Fibro. The compressed discs make my back go numb. I have actually tried to stand at the butcher block in the kitchen with the computer. The worst is the lexapro which dulls my senses...it does what it is supposed to do...suppress emotion and I can't write without that.
Before we moved here four years ago to take care of my mom, I did book signings every Christmas. I can't imagine doing that now...if you saw in my first post I wrote 'hyper skin sensitivity' instead of 'skin hyper sensitivity'. That's the kind of thing that comes out of my mouth!
I know you can't give medical advice but if YOU were ME, would you wean off the Lexapro and see what happens? Doc says I can if I want, but all I can think about is last year when I sat in a chair and cried for two months after the death of my younger brother. (mother, father, grandmother and brother all died within three years). I am still having a hard time with the loss.
I am becoming reclusive because social engagements require clothing that I want to tear off my body. I went to a political function last week for a judge friend that won the election and took my bra off in the bathroom.
I hope this post goes...it denied me access again, twice. It said I was an unauthorized user.
thanks for your kindness and concern. I am glad I found all of you.
Donna, there are other antidepressants out there. Actually, people with fibro do suffer from depression. I'm one of the few that don't. If the Lexapro is causing this dulling of your senses, that's not good. Another antidepressant may not do that to you. I know people on Zoloft that have had good results and others on Prozac with good results. There are many different antidepressants to choose from so I think, if I were you, I'd want to try something different. It's taking your love of writing from you. You want your meds to help you...not steal your life.
My husband suffered from depression but we didn't know that's what his problem was at first. They didn't talk about depression like they do now. He went to work but was a recluse when he got home. He was put on Prozac and it worked wonders for him!
I do know what you are going through. Back in 1985, we lost my father, my husband's father, and my husband's 42 year old sister in a five month period. Then, in 1997, I lost my husband suddenly and, seventeen days later, my Mom had a massive brainstem stroke. She lived but suffered for 2 1/2 years and I was her caregiver. Once you get through the grieving you will be much better. That's where my faith played a big part.
Try not to become a recluse. That's the easy thing to do but can make your life miserable. See if you can find a more comfortable bra. Some like those sports bras...especially if you aren't greatly endowed. They are supposed to be comfortable. Pick comfortable clothing, too. It's so good to get out and be with other people and friends. I'm going out to lunch with a friend tomorrow. I go on day trips with a travel group and have a wonderful time. I'm always glad to get back home, but I'm also glad I went! So, don't give up on life. There is a lot of enjoyment left for you.
As far as what comes out of your mouth, you need to have a good sense of humor with fibro. I just laugh at myself now. As far as your writing, could your husband or a friend proof-read your writing? They would catch those obvious mistakes. I'm sure the gist of what you are writing about would come through. Those little mistakes are unimportant and can be easily fixed! So, don't let fibro control you and the life you really want to live! There are always ways to work around it and still do the things you love to do.
In the Fibro 101 thread there is a list of stretching exercises that are done sitting down. You could print these out and use these at your computer. Buy a timer and set it for a half and hour. When it goes off, get up and walk for a few minutes...get a drink of water, use the bathroom, and then head back and reset it for another half an hour. Check the clock when you are up and, if it is close to lunch or dinner, make something you enjoy. The computer and what you have written will be there when you get back. You see, with fibro you do need to pace yourself. You can't do what you want to in the same time period you used to. My carpeting needs to be steam cleaned. I steam cleaned the family room today. Tomorrow I need to shop so that's on my agenda. Wednesday I'll steam clean the living room and dining room...see what I mean? I just make a plan for the day and follow it. I don't demand more than my body can handle. You will learn what you can do without becoming too sore.
This is becoming a book but I did want to suggest a lumbar support pillow for your back. I also sit on a memory foam pillow so my backside doesn't hurt, too! I have scoliosis and my lower back can get painful if I don't take care in making my seat comfy.
I think I answered your questions and gave you some ideas. I do hope this helps you. You can live your life and do the things you enjoy doing with fibromyalgia. You need to be your own advocate and use your head when it comes to medications. Remember, you hired your doctor. You are the boss! My doctor wanted me to try Lyrica but I do not want to take anything that makes me drowsy, dizzy, sleepy (sounds like the Seven Dwarves!) etc. I want to be able to get in my car and drive safely. So, I have found ways that help me control my pain and I just move forward. I hope some of this will help you.
I will speak to the administrator about your problems posting on this forum. This should not be happening. Have a great evening!
Thanks again, Sherrine. I have been keeping you busy all day! You have given me some very pragmatic advice and I promise I will try to follow it. Quickly, on another subject, it says you have autoimmune inner ear disease...Is that the same as Menieres? Do you get spinning dizzy with it and do you have to watch what you eat...no salt, MSG, Nitrates etc? I have had Meniere's since I was in my mid twenties...father and grandfather had it and now, one of my sons. I'm almost deaf!
I wanted to tell you what my PT told me during one of my sessions about the skin sensitivity. She told me that I needed to desensitize my skin by slowly and gently rubbing my skin. She said to start out with something soft and move it up slowly. My skin is not as sensitive as yours but I do have issues that make everyday life difficult. The therapist said that if I don't work on desensitizing, things would only get worse. I left therapy thinking she was absolutely insane but I have heard through others that this is a valid therapy. I'm still working on this, I think it is going to take me some time but I'm gonna give it my best shot. So I don't know if this is something you may want to try, I know my initial reaction was "No Way!" but if it will make things even a little better I'm going to try.
When I used to suffer badly from anxiety, I had a book all about medical problems, their symptoms, and what to do about them. I didn't know how to use the computer at that time so I spent a lot of time reading that book. Well, I was scaring myself half to death. I thought I had a lot of those illnesses and swore I was jaundiced! I felt so miserable and realized what I was doing to myself so the book went in the garbage. It's amazing what our minds can do.
Okay. Eleventh Time is a charm.
Donneil, just wanted to say that I admire you for being able to reach people with both your words and speech. When I had to do radio promo's for my books I used to make my husband do them because I was so afraid of the luncacy that might come out of my mouth. I once had a signing at Borders and made him do it because they have a discussion session along with the signing. I write with a genderless pen name so it didn't matter. I went shopping. I hope you feel better and get back to your passion soon.
Sherrine...I tossed all of my health books also. I am too sensitive to suggestion. Last month I was playing bridge and was rubbing my leg. My friend asked me why and I told her it was twitching and buzzing. Not knowing about my severe health anxiety issues, she mentioned The Dreaded Fatal Disease that made Dr. Kovorkian so famous. You know the one. I obsessed about it for days even though I have had muscle twitching for 25 years and the occasional buzzing sensation. I have it in my whole leg today...
I once had a therapist tell me health anxiety is the ultimate form of narcisism(sp?). Anyone who can spend days focusing on a twitch is just as self centered as a man who stands at the mirror admiring himself for hours at a time. Everyone and everything around us become white noise as we plan our funeral. We become the center of the Universe, our existence becomes fundemental in the earth revolving around the sun and that twitch that might be fatal will throw the planet off its axis. Of course, he doesn't have the twitch or buzz...or the brain chemistry that takes us to that Dark Place.
I am so sorry about all of your losses and admire you for coping through your faith and acceptance. I hope I will be there with you soon. Time heals all wounds but the scar it leaves stays forever.
I hope this goes and you all have a painfree day!
I'm just going to do a test run before I write anymore posts! I know it takes up space but once I'm in, it lets me stay in. I don't know if it's my computer. I go through the same steps every time and sometimes it says yes and sometimes it says no way! It ALWAYS acknowledges my password and user name and says I have successfully logged in. It's after I press 'submit' that it claims I am an unauthorized user. If no one else is having problems, it's probably me.