Hi Sheri and Welcome-
I had some real rough days a couple weeks ago and had to have a good cry also. Don't ever feel bad for feeling sorry for yourself- it gets to be just too much at times. We will come to your "feeling sorry for yourself" party!
My fibro hit me so hard 6-7 months ago and have not worked since and it has broke my heart also that I will probably never work fulltime again and parttime is even iffy at this point. I loved my job and the people I worked for and with. I do feel for you. I also applied for Soc. Sec. Disability.
I have lived in Minnesota all my life and this will be the first winter with fibro. The cold weather already is affecting my muscles and giving me more pain. So, we are in this together. My neighbor down the street has had fibro for years and she told me to find a temperature that you are warm at in your home and keep it there. I am doing that and not sure if it is helping? And I have a feeling we are going to have to wear snowmobile suits just to run errands!
Hi Sheri, and welcome to the forum. I saw that you started to apply for SS, and you're feeling a sadness about your future. I waited for several yrs before I applied for SS, hoping things would turn around and I would be 'fine' again. I have a tendency to hold things in for too long, then I end up making myself sick when it becomes too much. Release your negative emotions, get rid of them. I need to follow my own advice. Once that is out of your system, you will be free to see new opportunities.
I saw your response to Terrie, re yoga. You were very into it, I could feel your excitement in describing it. Have you ever thought about teaching yoga? The best teachers are ones who love their subject! I have always believed when one door closes, another one opens. This may be the door for you. You would be helping others, while you continue to help yourself. Just a thought.
I wish you a peaceful evening. God bless. Alice.
I found much comfort in reading these postings. I just decided out of desperation today to join this forum, hoping and praying to find others to talk to about what I've been facing alone for so long.
I too have been having a rough patch since this past Sunday. I've been miserable, hopeless, down on myself and crying all week. I haven't been to work this entire week and even though I don't want to admit it I'm finding it harder and harder to manage my career these days. My memory is awful, I've noticed that I'm not even speaking right anymore, it's pretty bad when you have a get together and ask your husband to please stir the paintballs (meatballs!) I worry if I'm making mistakes like this with people that I work with and looking like an idiot! My family and I laugh it off, but I don't know what others think about it. I've also noticed that I can't focus or think straight anymore, I can't even spell correctly anymore and I used to love to write!!! I'm only 39 and I do not know if I could manage not working, I have the type of mind that needs to stay busy, even though this illness is not allowing me to do so anymore. I feel so lost and like such a failure to my family. My husband relies on my income to help us survive and my insurance is what covers all my medical needs! People have suggested that I apply for SS, but I'm not sure how that all works and have no idea if it would supplement our income enough.
I do not mean to come across so negative...this is a downside to this illness as well. I used to be the fun loving, upbeat, positive chatter box that everyone loved being around. I used to lift everyone else up when they were down, I'm so not used to the roles being turned around on me! I just want to learn to cope and manage this better than what I have been lately. I was diagnosed with FMS over 15 years ago and never really took it seriously until this year due to it getting to the point of feeling overwhelming all the time. I really DO have good days, it just seems like there have been more BAD than good this past year and I'm totally lost with how to cope anymore!
This is my first time using a forum, I'm not really sure how this works, so I hope I haven't already broken the rules with my negativity and scared you all away! I am just so desperate to talk with others in the same situation!!!
Thank you for reading this, and I truly look forward to building some new friendships. I'm here to listen, believe it or not I am good at that! I'm good to laugh with, cry with or just jabber with.
Reaching out to find some Fibro Friends,
Thanks so much for your kind and comforting words!
I just recently (September) started seeing a rheumatologist for my condition. My family doctor put me on Cymbalta, Tramadol and Trazadone, the specialist has since upped the dose of Cymbalta to 90mg daily, I take the Tramadol as needed, but it truly doesn't seem to do anything for the pain. The Trazadone has aided in the sleeping at night but not totally. Yesterday he added one Xanax at night with the Trazadone to help me relax and get a better nights sleep. I did sleep well last night, however by later this morning the anxiety had kicked in and the pain, well, that just never seems to disappear! I'm going to a lung specialist on November 19th to have a sleep study done, the rheumatologist feels that my sleep disturbances at night are part of what is still causing the flare ups.
It's just been so devastating, not to mention embarrassing with co-workers, friends and family. Everyone wonders how you can see so many doctor's and still never feel well. Your family feels set aside and thinks you just don't want to be with them, when that's not it at all...you want to join in on the activities they are doing, but sometimes it's hard to last an entire day like I used to, especially after working all day!
I had part of my thyroid removed a little over a year ago and currently take synthroid for that as well. It seems that my fibro kicked in overtime when the thyroid started giving me problems. I used to run and exercise on a daily basis...I remember my little brother always calling and asking if I had time to squeeze him into my schedule because I was so active. Life has changed so incredibly much it's just been entirely difficult to get out of the depression of knowing that life is never going to be the same as it once was. I feel I've missed out on opportunities with my career due to the constant set backs. It's like everything can be going so great and your on top of the world then the next thing you know you are flat on your back again!
Thank you so much for allowing me to vent here today. I have read some interesting posts already and am finding some great information. I guess it's just comforting hearing similar stories to my own. I was attempting to find out some more information on CMP, because I feel that I have this to go along with the fibro but I'm uncertain as to how to ask the doctor to be tested for it without having all of my facts straight. It wasn't until last September when I had finally had enough and went to my family doctor and told her what I expected from my visit that I finally started getting some action in the right direction. I guess you have to be more proactive these days to get the answers you need!
I do believe that you can list the meds under your signature on the control panel. I was confused by that as well!
Again, thanks for the prayers, as you will be in mine as well. I thank God for giving me such great faith to believe, because without Him I don't think I would have managed through all of this for nearly as long!!!
Thanks for putting a smile on my face in knowing I've found someone to talk with about all of this!!!
Deb, welcome to the family. I think a lot of us read over posts for awhile to see what the site was like. The ppl here are very kind, full of info, and always have an ear to listen. We have all been where you are, as you will see, the more you read. When I thought I might have FMS, I didn't have internet. I went to the library and researched, I took books out like crazy. You can look on the first page of this site for Fibro 101, and tons of good info. The mods tried to put it all together to make it easier to find.
As far as being a newbie, you're doing fine. We can all feel down at times, but that's when we all try to be there to help each other to see the light again. Life isn't over, it's just different. We find ways to adapt, and we share those tips. These are some of the most generous ppl to share ideas, help you to put things in perspective, and understand what you're going thru.
I suggest you keep reading old posts, and current ones, and ask questions. I'm sure at least one of us, if not many more, knows just what you mean. Welcome, you're among friends!
God bless. Alice.
Thank you for the warm welcome! It's nice to be among friends and people who understand!
I look forward to getting to know everyone and I've spent nearly the entire afternoon reading old and new posts!
Hi Deb and a big Welcome!
I almost missed your posts too. I know fibro is not new to you, but the challenges sure can change!
You have found the "best" group to join for support- everyone here understands exactly what your going through and will be here for you!