I could have written your post for you-it sounds exactly what I go through on a daily basis. I had 2 different low positive ANAs, but my rheumy didn't want to say I had lupus. He decided that I had fibro and I might have lupus (or another one of the millions of auto-immune diseases). Honestly, I don't know if I have sleep apnea, but sometimes I do wake up gasping for air. BTW-I am overweight (and have an extremely large chest).
I have terrible balancing problems, too. Sometimes I am just standing there and I lose my balance-for some unknown reason. I do have periods of numbness in my hands and feet, but like you, it doesn't usually last very long. BTW-I totally hear you on the not wanting to go to the ER every night. Besides it costing you money and time, the doctors and nurses think you are crazy (or drug seeking).
Right now, I'm in the middle of trying to get disability, I just moved back in with my parents (talk about stressful and humiliating) because of lack of money, and I still don't have an answer of what else I have (besides fibro). If my hair wasn't already falling out (yet another unexplained symptom), I'd tear it out myself. Oh, BTW, I'm almost 37 (my birthday is the 29th), and even though I was dxd with fibro this past June, I've had these weird symptoms for at least 20 years.
Anyway, I don't know if anything that I've said has helped you. I do hope you know that you are not alone. If you ever just need to talk to someone, email me. Ask anyone here, I'll talk both your ears off.
FINALLY dxd with fibro on 06/13/08