Big announcement!!!

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Marlee2
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Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 11/24/2008 2:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Okay I have kept this quiet cause, well it took me awhile to accept and come to terms with the whole thing. I was upset and disappointed in the beginning but I'm okay with it now. My 19 yr old grandaughter is pregnant and we found out today that she is having a little boy. There is a little thing on the heart that shouldn't be there and she has to see a cardiologist as soon as possible but the doc isn't too worried about it. She is right at 20 wks so we are half way there. Due date is the 16th of April.
 
She is in school but will probably take next semester off or take online classes. The baby's daddy goes to a different university a couple of hours away. They are trying to make this work but we all know the chances are slim to none. His mommy doesn't want him to work while he is in school, I don't think this baby is going to wait til his daddy is out of school to need food and clothes. He has all his classes three days a week so he has four days a week he could be working. GD managed to work and go to school even when she couldn't keep water down for a few weeks.
 
So where will she and the baby be living??? You got it, with us. I don't know how I'm going to do this again. I have raised three sons and helped raised her and her brothers but I don't know if I have what it takes left in me to help raise another child. She sees my lack of energy but I don't think she really understands what fatigue is and the fact that you can't push through it. I know she will be a great mom but she also has to finish her education and it's going to take her longer now.
 
Of course I love this baby already and seeing the sonogram pictures made it all so real. But I'm tired and the thought of taking care of another baby makes me more tired.
 
So this is the latest in our family of never ending stressors. Even the blessing of a baby is a stressor.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
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Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17097
   Posted 11/24/2008 2:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Marlee, this IS exciting!  You will love having a little one at home and so will Krissy.  With a little luck, the baby will be born on my birthday and then you have no excuses to forget it!  devil
 
Your GD will be taking care of the baby most of the time.  You should make sure of that.  You can't handle all that it takes to raise a baby now that you have fibro and are, shall we say, a little older?  smilewinkgrin    I know I couldn't do it but you are so wonderful to open  your home to your GD so she has a really nice place to stay and a safe place for her baby. 
 
Yes, the "daddy" needs to start accepting some responsibility, too.  Life shouldn't go on as normal for him under these circumstances.  He should have thought of that before AND his parents should have him accept responsibility, too.  But, I guess this isn't Utopia.
 
Just think...you're going to be a great grandmother!  devil yeah
 
Sherrine
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40581
   Posted 11/24/2008 3:15 PM (GMT -7)   
Marlee,

This is so exciting. You will be loving it in no time at all. I was so sick when John's son and dil came back from Pheonix, but when I held my granddaughter, all that went away. I am not just saying this to make it sound easier for you, it is the truth. I think it is a hormonal thing. But it was like all the bad stuff of fibro went away. I felt so good.

I am so happy for you. Just think, a new baby. I hope to see my grandkids on Thanksgiving. I can't wait. Garrison is walking around furniture now. Plus they got a little puppy. A yorkie.

Have a wonderful evening.

Luv and hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


AustenFan
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 1771
   Posted 11/24/2008 4:46 PM (GMT -7)   
Congratulations Marlee.  Babies are such sweet blessings.
 
When the time comes, we'll just pray that God will give you the strength, patience, and energy that you need.  :-)
 
Just a thought, but if paternity is established legally, won't the father be required to help support his child?
 
Hugs - Austen
"There is no charm equal to tenderness of  heart." - Jane Austen
 
 
Fibromyalgia, 2 back surgeries, Meniere's Disease, 30+ kidney stones, GERD, IBS, Asthma, Allergies, Endometriosis, Heart Arrythmia, Myofascial Pain, TMJ.
 
 
 
 
 
 


Meggie
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 408
   Posted 11/24/2008 4:58 PM (GMT -7)   

Marlee,

Babies don't always have good timing but they are always a blessing.  Congratulations!!!

Everything will work out just fine and you will find the energy you need when you look into that sweet face wink .

Meggie


springfling
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 519
   Posted 11/24/2008 5:00 PM (GMT -7)   

Marlee,

Congratulations!! A new little great grandson! Such a blessing, but yes it can be a big stress added to your life. But, when he arrives and you hold him in your arms all that stress will go away!

I was in this same situation 7 years ago, but it was my daughter. She lived with us until she was married and settled. Now she and her husband have 3 beautiful children and I love them all. I hold a special place in my heart for Kylee(the oldest) because I was with her for the first 2 years of her life every day. I never realized how much I enjoyed having them at home until they moved out.

I always think that no matter the conditions, a baby is a blessing and there is a reason for it. Things always seem to work themselves out & hopefully they will for you.

Your gd will have to be responsible and take over most of the care of her son. You don't want to over do and she needs to know from the beginning that you have your limits. Otherwise, it may turn into a big stress and too much for you.

I know how you must be feeling. You are older now and have your own health to watch out for, so don't let it turn into too much for you. If you set rules from the beginning it will be easier on you.

A baby is a life changer, but such a good one! You will soon have a new little boy to spoil and watch grow while they are in your home. I hope it all turns out well and you enjoy the time!

Hugs!!  Margie


Never regret something that made you smile!

Fibromyalgia*Osteoarthritis*Sleep Apnea*Depression*Fatigue*Allergy/Sinus


KerriH
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 316
   Posted 11/24/2008 6:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Congratulations, that is so wonderful!  A new baby is certainly a lot of work, with or without Fibromyalgia (I have a 2 year old).  But, what a beautiful little blessing.  How wonderful it is to have a little baby sleeping on your chest with their little legs tucked underneath them.
 
smilewinkgrin  


Kerri

Fibromyalgia

"Tragedy is a tool for the living to gain wisdom, not a guide by which to live."
Robert F. Kennedy 

 



Jeannie143
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 6056
   Posted 11/24/2008 8:38 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey, Marlee, maybe we could buy a big farm house and form a commune! I think I know where you are coming from and all I can say is one day at a time. I know everyone says that babies are a blessing but girlfriend, you should know that you are the blessing!!! opening up your home to your granddaughter is the bestest, kindest thing you can do. Yup, it's gonna be busy. Yep, you are gonna be tired... But I'll bet you will take tired and busy over her having gotten rid of the little guy or adopting him out, right?

You have a heart of gold and I'll bet you that in your last years on earth that little baby boy will be there for you just as you are gonna be there for him. What goes around comes around.
~ Jeannie, Forum Moderator/Diabetes & Fibromyalgia
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa

"People are like stained glass windows: They sparkle and shine when the sun's out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light within."- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40581
   Posted 11/24/2008 8:47 PM (GMT -7)   
I remember the first time I watched my granddaughter. She fell asleep on my chest just lilke Kerri mentioned. It felt so good. Then when she woke up, she looked at me and started bawling. Poor thing, was expecting to see her mom. I felt so bad, but within minutes she realized that she knew me and everything was back to normal. I really enjoyed those times, not scaring her though.

Thanks Kerri for mentioning that, it did bring back a wonderful memory of the feeling of her sleeping on me. So comforting and so relaxing. Just the thought of it brings tears to my eyes and a smile on my face.

Luv and hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Chutz
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 11/24/2008 10:57 PM (GMT -7)   
Marlee...my sweet friend! First of all, you don't have to hold back sharing with us...we're family. My daughter had my oldest grandson when she was 16. Babies come when they come and they deserve to be loved, each one as much as the next.

Now, a word of loving advice from someone who should have known better. You are a saint for letting her live with you BUT...YOU do not have to take care of this baby. SHE is the mother. You are there for guidance and love...mostly the love. You cuddle and play with that baby when you have the energy, then give him back to mommy to take care of. Mommy gets up at night to feed him, mommy gets to wash his laundry, mommy takes him to the doctor...etc... You are the loving example for her to emulate, not a nursemaid. I've made that mistake of taking on more than I should have or needed to and I paid the price. Plus, if you start doing many of the things she should, not only do you wear yourself out and ruin the fun you should be having but it deprives her of learning the real meaning of responsibility and caring for a baby 24/7. No one wants to miss those special moments that only a mothers notices like...the first time HE shows off his hydrolics when he's getting a diaper change...lol

Hubby's standard 'lecture' to the kids/grandkids as they each get older is... "don't do anything you can't afford to do". I'm in this world because someone didn't listen, so what can I say....all of this is said in love because I did it wrong. Do what you need to do but please don't "over do".

Love ya Grandma,
Chutzie
Co-Mod Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
~~~
Fibromyalgia, Ulcerative Colitis, Insulin dependent diabetic, collapsed disk, dermatitis herpetiformus, osteo arthritis in spine and other locations.
***************

The only difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has it's limits. Albert Einstein: (1879-1955)


Marlee2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 11/25/2008 7:40 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks girls. Yeah we pretty much had K's life planned til that stick read positive. She was quite upset herself at first but not having him was never an option. I told her from the beginning don't have any bad thoughts, it will all work out, he was meant to be.
 
She is very independent and a hard working little girl so I don't doubt her ability. As far as the daddy goes if his mommy doesn't want him working she better cough up child support come April. He is going to the doc apps and everything with her so I hope they can have a working relationship for this baby. He has one more year of college after this but he is going to transfer back to this area next year.
 
It is overwhelming for me, I think more due to the fatigue than the pain. I don't worry about her taking care of him when she is here cause I know she will. But she is still going to have to work and go to school.
 
Yes, Jeannie if we lived closer we could put them all in a big house and MC could watch the little ones while everyone else worked and went to school. K is an excellent little housekeeper.
 
Yes, Sherrine you might get a birthday gift. But you have to come up here and change your share of diapers.
 
luv and hugs
Marlee
 
 
 
 
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
 
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium and Osteoarthritis
 
Amitriptyline, Celexa, Xanax, Synthroid, Zyrtec, Micardis, Spironalactone, Tylenol, Reglan, Lidoderm Patches and Tramadol
 
Co Q 10, Super B Complex, Extra B12, Multi vitamin


GamJill
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 1279
   Posted 11/25/2008 8:01 AM (GMT -7)   
Oh life is full of surprises, isn't it!!!???? Congratulations Marlee!!
 
I think there is a saying that goes: "Too blessed to be stressed" - HA!! Who came up with that one!?? I know I have MANY blessings but things can get very stressful and out of hand. The ONE thing I have learned is that we "always" get through it somehow. Mommy and baby will not live with you forever and this is temporary, and you will be making "a difference" in two people's lives. Bless Ken and your heart's for doing this for them.
 
We will "all" be here for you - 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, TMJ, Arthritis/neck, SAD
 
Zoloft, Tylenol 4000 mg., Darvocet  

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