Any Holiday Funny Stories You Want to Share?

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vestabula
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2855
   Posted 11/25/2008 2:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Well, today the fibro has slithered down my neck, shoulders and arms and settled in my hips and thighs. Can everyone spell fire ants? Also, in the middle of the night I got stabbing pain in the two toes I broke a few years ago after running 100 MPH towards what I thought was a rubber ball in a dog park and kicking it. In fact, it was a round, cement 'hitching post' for those who needed to tie their dogs up for one reason or another.  Owyy!
 
Anyway, last Thanksgiving we celebrated on the friday after, as my son from Atlanta waited too long to buy plane tickets and couldn't get a flight until Thursday night.  No prob.
 
We had just bought a new stove the week before.  Me? Just give me four burners and a gas flame and I'm good with that.  But hubby wanted one that looked like the control panel from a 747.  So that's what we bought.
 
I put the monster turkey in the oven around 3:00 in the afternoon, planning to eat around 8:00 after my other son got out of work.  All was fine and dandy until I noticed, upon checking the bird, it wasn't crisping.  Strange, since it was 'convecting' but didn't think much about it.  Then I noticed I wasn't smelling those wonderful odors that come from a cooking turkey.  I told the hubby and he shrugged his shoulders and said we probably just not giving the new oven 'a chance'.  I finally opened the oven door again, at a point when the thing should have been done...plastic popper was still embedded deep in white flesh plus...there was no heat coming from the oven. 
 
I looked up at the control panel and it was flashing 'Sabbath Mode'.  It had gone off automatically at 5:00, in respect for the Jewish Sabbath.  Now THAT's a stove that has gone over the edge with accessories.
 
Okay..so there will be no turkey but do you think we could get the stove to work AT ALL?  The user manual was in four languages and the size of a phone book.  I called Lowes and they knew nothing for nothing.  Finally, two men and myself pulled it out from the wall, and unplugged it so we could re-program it.  Did you know that if a professional installs a stove, they have to fasten the back feet with screws into these grooves so that the stove won't tip over and fall on a child that might lean on it?  Are you serious?  That's like saying you have to put bricks under the wheels of your 2 ton mini-van so your four year old can't push it down the street.
 
You wanna talk about a fibro moment?  Trying to lift that stove that in essence was permanently afixed to the floor...OMG.  I spent a good portion of the evening in a hot bath.  Everyone still had a good time without the turkey...the pies were good!
 
That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.  Anyone else??
 
donna

Post Edited By Moderator (Sherrine) : 11/25/2008 3:01:52 PM (GMT-7)


Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17097
   Posted 11/25/2008 3:25 PM (GMT -7)   

Ahhh...my first attempt at having Thanksgiving at my house.  My parents were coming...for the first time.... for Thanksgiving.  My Mom was a clean freak.  We used to call her Mrs. White Glove!  I started cleaning the house a week before their arrival.  I was working at the time and cleaning any spare time I had.  But, I did get it looking just wonderful!

Then I bought a 24 pound turkey and was going to serve it at 5:00 PM.  Since I had never done a turkey before, I asked my mother-in-law when I should put the turkey in the oven and what temperature.  She told me to preheat the oven at 325 degrees and put the turkey in the oven at 3:00 AM!!!!  I said, "3:00 AM?" and she said yes.  Soooo, I set my alarm for 2:30 AM, sleep-walk to the kitchen and start preheating my oven.  Have you ever tried wrestling with a turkey in the middle of the night?  Not fun.  But I got the bird in the oven and went back to bed. 

The next day the house was smelling so good with the turkey cooking and I was quite proud of myself.  My parents arrived and were so pleased with the house.  Then I went to set the table.  I had to put some leaves in my pedestal table.  Mom helped me pull apart the table.  To my horror, there were about 50 little Milky Way wrappers under the pedestal!  We had two cats and when we would have a miniature Milky Way, we would crumble the wrapper and toss it to the cats.  We had no idea they were there.  Oh, was I embarrassed but I continued getting things ready for dinner.  

I went to take the turkey out of the pan, that had been cooking for 13 1/2 hours, and couldn't get it out of the pan.  It crumbled in pieces!  I had to use spatulas and ladles to get it on the platter.  While I was doing that, my sister-in-law yelled to me to tell me my son was on the ceiling!  My son is ADHD and we had gotten him a Spiderman cape for his birthday.  He wore it all of the time.  He had his cape on.  He was 21 years old at the time!  shocked Noooo....just kidding!   devil   He was nearly four years old.  He had put his hands on one wall and his feet on the other wall and had "walked" up the wall to the ceiling!  I was busy with the turkey so I yelled for him to get down off the ceiling.  Instead of walking down the wall, he curled himself in a ball and came crashing to the floor.  Unfortunately my 2 1/2 year old daughter was walking down the hall at that time and never expected her brother to be falling from the "sky".  Of course, as luck would have it, he landed on top of her.  Both kids were screaming and crying and there was blood to be had, too.

But, we did managed to have a good Thanksgiving...my very first... We cleaned up the kids, sat down and gave thanks for our many blessings and we also got use spoons to enjoy eating my first attempt at cooking a turkey. 

Sherrine    



Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7

Post Edited (Sherrine) : 11/25/2008 3:36:44 PM (GMT-7)


vestabula
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2855
   Posted 11/26/2008 7:13 AM (GMT -7)   

OMG, Sherrine...you cooked a turkey for 13.5 hours???  I can't belive it didn't blow up in your face like the Hindenberg when you stuck a fork in it!  I won't mock you, however.  I cooked my first turkey with the bag of innerds still inside.  Wondered why I couldn't get more than a half cup of stuffing in it!

donna


Sherrine
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17097
   Posted 11/26/2008 1:05 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh, I did the "innerds" thing too.  They used to have the giblets and neck in the cavity of the turkey.  Then they started putting the giblets in the space where the neck was attached...and never bothered to tell me!  turn    When I couldn't find the giblets, I just figured I got a "mistake" turkey.  Oh, yes, that's really gross!
 
Sherrine
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
***********************
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7

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