+Yesterday really let me know how bad the fibro is.....

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QTKaren
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 605
   Posted 11/28/2008 12:34 PM (GMT -7)   
The holidays have always been a big thing for me,a time to pamper my family and cook up a storm with all sorts of goodies and I used to be able to do all the food prep and baking on my own.............well not anymore.  I was a bit bummed that my daughter and grandkids were not going to be with us for Thanksgiving but decided a nice mellow holiday could be good too.  Jayson and I had already prepped and cooked the veges we would need for the turkey the night before.  I managed to get 4 pies baked with no problems and the kitchen was all cleaned and ready to go for Thanksgiving morning.
 
I woke up yesterday after a bad night of pain and restlesness and immediatly knew it was going to be a bad morning.  I felt sick from not taking my meds all night in the hopes of having a few pills extra for during the day when things would be busy.  Had to do my usual routine with the suppositories and was upstairs waiting for meds to kick in and to go potty.  Jayson had been up hours before me like he usually is and he called upstairs that the veges were warmed and the huge turkey was out and rinsed and dried and he had even cut up all the giblets we had cooked the night before.  When I finally made it downstairs I was all hunched over in pain and coughing from a cold I picked up earlier in the week and the cold of the morning had seeped into my muscles contracting them into tight bunches.  Even though I had socks on the cold from the kitchen floor was making my anckles ache terribly.  Jayson did pretty much everything with me mostly mixing up the stuffing and then stuffing and trussing the bird.
 
I was crying and Jay asked me what was the matter and I told him I felt sad that I had gotten to this physical state and felt totally inadaquete in doing even the simplist of preperations for a holiday meal.  Jay stood there rubbing my back and telling me it was going to be ok and then as soon as the turkey was in the oven he had me go sit down and he brought me a hot cup of coffee(that he had made for me) and told me to just relax and watch the parade on tv.  After awhile Jay said why dont you go upstairs and take a hot bath,he said he would baste the turkey and that eveything was under control.  I did take the bath and it did help to calm me and make my muscles feel better.  When I got out of the tub I went in to get dressed and Jay had layed out a clean pair of drawstring pj bottoms and a warm top,something he knew I would normally wear when things were bad for me pain wise.  So I get dressed and go downstairs and Jay had washed all the breakfast dishes and cleaned up the counters from fixing the turkey and had another cup of coffee waiting for me.
 
Jayson has always helped me some over the years,the first man by the way that had ever helped me in the kitchen but he went over and above all he had ever done.  He said he just wanted to have a nice thanksgiving and for me to be as pain free as possible.  This man had to have been paying attention over the years because he got the veges cut at just the right size and had the melting butter and broth all set for basting and anything he wasnt sure of he just asked me whats next? grrrrrrrrr I hate it when the font changes for no reason part way through a post.  Anyways, my mom was supposed to walk over for dinner and I has not been able to get her on the phone all day.  She did call and leave a message saying she was just getting in the shower but would be done in 30 minutes and this was at 1pm.  The turkey was done and I was finishing up the potatoes,rolls and yams and by now it was 2:30 and I still hadnt heard from her.  I told Jay to just have him eat as he had been going crazy all day smelling that turkey,I mean this man really loves turkey lol.  But he said he would just wait.  I finally got my mom on the phone at 3 pm and she said she just had to get dressed sighhhhhhhhhhhhh she is notorious for being late to eveything and always holding ppl up and making them late too.
 
I told Jay I was just going to go over there and walk her back(she lives right next door in a senior building)but I told him I was going to fix his food first and that he had waited long enough.  He goes "but I wanted us to eat together" I knew he was starving at this point so he didnt object too much when I fixed him a plate.  I called my mom and asked her if she just wanted me to bring her some food and she was like"but I thought you wanted me to come over but if you dont want me there then I will do whatever you want"  I figured that with her dragging her feet so much maybe thats what she wanted but could tell on the phone she really did want to be here so I put on my coat and walked over there.  My God she still wasnt even dressed! and it was now aprouching 4pm.  So I prodded her to hurry up and we finally got to my house and I got her fed or should I say over fed lol she  had the flu early in the week so hadnt been eating much but she chowed down and said she had over ate lol then I walked her back home after packing up tons of leftovers for her and then walked over to Subway where Jay was already at doing prep work for his employees for the next day.  Even with all of Jays help I was still so whiped out last night and I am thinking omg how am I gonna get through x-mas and making a huge spread for all of my family and tomorrow I go out to my daughters to make a complete second thanksgiving for her and the kids not to mention doing her hair while I am there.  I dont know if I can handle having my arms up to frost her hair.  So ya this thanksgiving was a big wake up call for me as far as fibro goes and it just made me feel sad and beaten down.
 
Soft Hug's,
Karen
Karen
 
Mom of one gramma to 4 lover to One
 
Fibromyalgia,IBS,Stroke x2,endometriosis,Diabetes type 2,neuropathic pain,nerve damage due to tailbone removel,nerve damage due to fractured back,deppresion,high blood pressure,severe nausea,atrophy,chronic pain,nerve damage due to botched bladder surgery,torn hip joint,hypoglycymic
 
Norco(double strength vicodin) 80 to 100 mg @ day
Ms Contin(morphine) 45 mg @ day,Lyrica 600mg @ day
 
 
 


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40595
   Posted 11/28/2008 1:46 PM (GMT -7)   
Karen,

You have such a loving and kind husband. To me it sounds like things turned out okay. You are very fortunatee (as am I) to have a good husband who understands fibro.

I know that your next dinner will be just as wonderful. You will be there!

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Sera Smiles
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 671
   Posted 11/28/2008 1:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh, Ms. Karen, you are a hero and you don't even know it! You are such a loving person and I know that not being able to do all that you wish for your family is a tough thing for you. I am really proud of Jay for all that he did to show you his love. I know that with our guys, sometimes its hit or miss :') but tjey have their moments. And I can not think of a single reason he was so attentive to your needs yesterday- except for the obvious- he loves you! And he feels comfortable showing you that love because of the way you love him. I feel you getting stronger where it concerns your mother, she is manipulative and I know you love and care for her, but your health [emotional as well as physical] is priority. I hope you won't work too hard today at your daughters house and you will take breaks and let others do some of the things you can not. Take care of you and please update us as to how you are doing today after the second feast!
 


Dowa
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 1120
   Posted 11/28/2008 2:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Your post made me wish I had a husband (I didnt think I would ever say that again.)!!  (:

jhawkfan
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 86
   Posted 11/28/2008 2:39 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Karen,

I could practically feel your stress shooting out of the computer!! My mother and your mother would get along famously!! You should be booked on the same flight with her and try to get to the airport on time!! I want to focus on the positive and say that your husband sounds soooooooo wonderful and understanding. My husband is trying, but this is fairly new to both of us, so I think it is still rather frustrating and it "gets old" for him at times. He does try though. I always try and remember that they miss the old "us" too.Your husband sounds like a wonderful man. I am so glad you have him. Is there anyway you can have someone else in the family have Christmas and you bring some goodies? I am just thinking of ways to reduce your stress. How about telling your mom dinner is 4 hours earlier than it is? lol! Take care, and get some rest. 


Gentle Hugs,
Sheri
 
Fibromyalgia,Epilepsy,RLS,DDD
 
Lyrica,Tramadol,Gabapentin,AmbienCR,Zonagran,Phenobarbital,Mirapex,Dextromethopan
Fish oil, Vitamin E, Baby ASA, Multi-Vitamin,Malic Acid/magnesium,
 
 
  
 
 


QTKaren
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 605
   Posted 11/28/2008 2:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Dowa,
I didnt think I would ever say that after my first very abusive husband. Jay and I have surely had our ups and downs as you could see from reading some of my old posts. But he is trying and that gives me hope that we will be able to make this work. Jayson has always helped me on thanksgiving but just a lil bit and yesterday he went all out and was very caring and loving right up till bedtime. But I have noticed on other days for the last month or so that he has been more loving and really trying where family is concerned. He will walk by my chair and stroke my hair and if I am working in the kitchen he will come up and rub my back and ask if I need any help and I am learning to accept that help. And he is even working at doing better on chores that I ask him to do and picking up after himself,something that had gotten to be a big argue topic in the past. And the most important thing is he is finally starting to care about his health and has even lost 10 pounds so ya I am praising him alor these days lol. There is no knight in shining armor or perfect person to take you away from all your misery but to find someone that you can co-exist with without killing them is reasonable lol. I was in good health when I met Jayson and he has been through alot with me including a surgery that went bad and he gets a call from the hospital to come now because I was on life suppport and me taking falls down stairs which put me on dissabilaty and then the fibro and alot of the offshoot condisions that go with that. But when I divorced before I told myself that I would never put up with the disrespect and abuse I had lived with for years and if that ment kicking Jayson to the curb if needed I would rather spend the rest of my life alone then disrespect myself and go back to that lifestyle. So I have held my ground with Jay even for little things like off color jokes or teasing that was disrespectful in front of me and tell him before you make a remark or joke think if you had just met me would you still do that and think I would even date you? and of course that answer would be no so dont do it. JUst because you are with someone for years doesnt mean they can talk down to you or ever make you feel uncomfortable or scared to open your mouth. I wish you good luck in finding a nice companion,someone who will cherish you and protect you and make you feel safe and loved. I had wrote in a profile I had online to not close yourself off to love because that special someone might be right around the corner and you might miss out on it if you live in the past. Take care,

Soft Hug's ,
Karen
Karen
 
Mom of one gramma to 4 lover to One
 
Fibromyalgia,IBS,Stroke x2,endometriosis,Diabetes type 2,neuropathic pain,nerve damage due to tailbone removel,nerve damage due to fractured back,deppresion,high blood pressure,severe nausea,atrophy,chronic pain,nerve damage due to botched bladder surgery,torn hip joint,hypoglycymic
 
Norco(double strength vicodin) 80 to 100 mg @ day
Ms Contin(morphine) 45 mg @ day,Lyrica 600mg @ day
 
 
 


Dowa
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 1120
   Posted 11/28/2008 2:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Karen: You are absolutely right! Closed off I probably am at the moment but I call it self protection. It takes some time to want to open up a broken heart again. I am glad that you did and were able to find such a compassionate man. Bless you..and him,  Take care  D

Statgeek
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1495
   Posted 11/28/2008 7:20 PM (GMT -7)   

Karen, I was touched by the warm kindness of your husband.  What a great guy.  It is difficult not being able to do as much as before.  I am struggling with accepting that, too.  But it is so nice to have an understanding husband or other family member.  Your dh sounds like a wonderful man.

gentle hugs,

Sue


QTKaren
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 605
   Posted 11/30/2008 11:34 AM (GMT -7)   
I am at my daughters till tuesday with limited internet but will answer everyone when I get back or of I can get back on my daughters comp lol thank you so much for your responses though.
 
Soft Hug's.
Karen
Karen
 
Mom of one gramma to 4 lover to One
 
Fibromyalgia,IBS,Stroke x2,endometriosis,Diabetes type 2,neuropathic pain,nerve damage due to tailbone removel,nerve damage due to fractured back,deppresion,high blood pressure,severe nausea,atrophy,chronic pain,nerve damage due to botched bladder surgery,torn hip joint,hypoglycymic
 
Norco(double strength vicodin) 80 to 100 mg @ day
Ms Contin(morphine) 45 mg @ day,Lyrica 600mg @ day
 
 
 


SleepyBug
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1097
   Posted 11/30/2008 11:49 AM (GMT -7)   
karen,

your husband does sound wonderful! i am so happy that you have that in your life..it does help so much.

and BRAVO to you for sticking to your guns about how you will be treated! everyone deserves to be treated well and it makes me so happy to see/meet/hear about people who respect themselves enough to hold out for the one who will treat them the way they truly deserve to be treated.

thank you so much for sharing and i hope you are feeling a lot better than you were on thanksgiving!

very gentle hugs
~danielle
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