I am sorry you had a rough day. I really lost my temper with my daughters and then my husband today too and I felt aweful afterward. I agree with you that one of the worst parts of this illness is the emotional part of it. My hussband came into the bedroom this morning and said "why don't you get up and get some things done around the house? It will make you feel better." He left for errands and I got up so mad and hurt that I just started cleaning the entire house and I am going through a bad flare right now along with med change that is making me feel pretty dopey. I then started taking it out on my daughters because these things they are supposed to be helping with aren't being done. UGH!! I feel so aweful about how I acted and I amnow hurting so bad on top of it. I am going to make an effort to apologize and gently remind them that I am really doing the best I can and I know it is hard on them too,, but I just can't do the things I used to do. :( hang in there ok? I am pretty sure we are not the ojly ones that lose it once in a while. I think holidays must make all of that worse too because of the added stress. Take care,
I know exactly what you are feeling. Feeling irritable is a miserable feeling. I tend to bottle everything up-that isn't good either. When I was on Lyrica, I was SO irritable. I wasn't suicidal, but I was at a point that I just didn't care to live. My husband never really knew(and he is VERY observant) because I bottle things up or isolate myself. I digress, sorry...
I agree with Jeannie. If you are not on an antidepressant, maybe you should try one. It has made a big difference for me. I have experienced depression in the past. I have learned from these episodes of depression. Persisitent irritability is a big red flag for me. If I am not on an antidepressant and I am experiencing irritability, I know that I need to make a MD appt to get a prescription. If I am on a antidepressant, it is a signal that I may need a change of meds. Just some things that I have learned about myself. There are several antidepressants that come in generics if you do not have insurance.
Give your family big hugs and tell them that you aren't feeling well and you are sorry for being grumpy(which I am sure you have already done). You are in a family and you love each other. Part of that is putting up with each other through thick and thin. I hope that you start feeling better soon.